Tell Me You Crave Me (Search and Seduce #3)(16)

Even if she could tell them, she could never go for East anyway…but that didn’t stop her from needing to talk about it. In some way. Because this was killing her. She didn’t know how to process half the feelings she was feeling, and worse, she was pretty sure one of those feelings was withdrawal, like East was some kind of drug. The whole day today, she could still feel him every time she moved.

Yeah, she needed to talk. But she couldn’t out any of the details. Maybe she could be discreet…

“So, most of these guys are probably players, right?” Natalie started. Both of her friends looked up at her. “I mean…” She pointed to the screen. “They won’t be looking for anything long term.”

“You want something long term?” Chloe asked.

Natalie shrugged. “Eventually. One day. I just want…”

“Passion,” Chloe said. She remembered from the discussion they’d had back when Chloe was fighting against wanting Gage. Passion had never been a problem for her. And yeah, Natalie wanted that. In fact, she’d had a taste of that with East. And it was addictive.

“You can find that,” Michelle said. “Maybe one of these guys will work out. You never know!”

Yeah…you never know. Just like she’d been on a date last night and then ended up sleeping with Easton.

“I’m not sure…” Natalie said. “I want passion but have no idea how to get it, or sustain it if I had it.”

“What’s going on with you?” Chloe asked.

“I just don’t know about this dating thing. It shouldn’t be this hard.”

“Ah, it’s hard as hell,” Chloe said.

“Yeah,” Michelle agreed.

“Did it bug you, Dex being a ladies’ man before he met you?” Natalie asked Michelle. Her fiancé Dex had grown up here like most of them, and he’d had a reputation before he’d met Michelle. A one-and-done kind of man, much like East. Only Dex had always wanted more, and East? Natalie was pretty sure that man would die a bachelor. Proudly.

Michelle thought about her question. “No. I mean, I knew he had experience with other women in this town, and it never really bothered me. Everything you go through makes you the person you are. And Dex is amazing.”

“That’s because he’s all about you.” Chloe winked. And Chloe was right. Both of her friends were gorgeous.

If Natalie were honest with herself, she had to admit that Easton’s reputation made her nervous. Take out the whole family complication and she’d still feel insecure about the whole thing. She didn’t have the experience he did. Hell, everyone in town looked at her like a buddy and looked at him like a sex god. She couldn’t compete with the women he’d been with. Or the women he could get.

And now she’d added herself to that list. Jesus.

She’d always assumed the guy was a knockout in bed. He had to be with that kind of experience, right? But she’d been unprepared for just how good he’d been.

She’d never felt that before. But maybe this was routine for East. What was new and fun and unique to her was probably old hat for him. Show up, make a woman come harder than she ever had before, then take his distance. And that was the problem. She was reeling today, and East probably hadn’t given her a second thought.

So I should stop thinking about it.

Because she couldn’t go after him. So there was no point in obsessing over him. The man drove her nuts, and she wasn’t interested in being compared to others and found wanting. Yeah, he’d blown her mind, but could she say the same for him? If she’d had even half the effect on him that he’d had on her, he wouldn’t have been so eager to leave this morning.

Time to move on.

“We’ve got a live one!” Michelle said, interrupting Natalie’s thoughts. A ding sounded on the computer. “You have a wink already!”

Natalie looked at the profile her friends had just set up. They’d even put up a picture of her.

“That guy likes me already?” Natalie asked.

“Yep, I told you, you’re hot. And you’re awesome.”

Natalie didn’t feel hot, but that quick ding…somebody had thought so, right? So maybe she could do this. If it meant not feeling like an embarrassment to her mother and family, and not dating her cousin, then she’d do just about anything.

She might be plain to some—like East—but she could use these next two weeks to really date and figure out how to get the passion she wanted. Surely East wasn’t the only game in town.

“You’ve got another one!” Michelle said.

“Set it up,” Natalie agreed. Yep, she’d find passion, or at least a date. East might have awoken something in her, both good and bad, but she’d figure this out for herself. She had to. Because after being seen like she’d been seen last night, she couldn’t go back to being invisible.

“Time to date my ass off!” Natalie said, and both of her friends cheered in support.

Her cell phone rang. Natalie fished it out of her apron and pushed her glasses up as she read the caller ID.

“Who’s calling?” Chloe asked.

“It’s my future sister-in-law.” Natalie answered the phone. “Hi, Bridget.” She plugged her ear with her other hand to better hear Bridget’s lyrical voice. “You what now?” Natalie asked. Surely she couldn’t have heard her right. But when Bridget repeated herself, Natalie covered the speaker of the phone and mouthed to her friends. “I’m a bridesmaid now!”