Tatiana and Alexander: A Novel(194)

Tatiana climbed onto Alexander. The feel of his naked back against her vest produced such a peculiar aching inside, such a sense of familiarity and loss--and not temporal but permanent loss--that she couldn't help it, she groaned, and he misunderstood and said, "Hey," and she, to keep from breaking down, bit down on the strap of the backpack.

With the packs and the machine gun on her back, and her on his back, Alexander waded into the river Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

and began to swim. The river was less than half the size of the Kama. Did he notice? She couldn't say for sure, but she knew one thing for sure--he was having trouble. She could almost feel him sinking. He kept upright, but he wasn't able to speak. All she heard was his bubbling breath, in from the air, out into the water. When they reached the other side, he lay for a minute on the ground, panting. She sat down next to him, pulling off the backpacks. "You did great," she said. "Is it hard for you?"

"Not hard, just..." He jumped up. "Six months in a cell will do that to you."

"Well, let's rest. Lie back down." She touched his leg, looking up at him.

"Do you have a towel? Hurry."

She had one small towel. "Tania," he said, drying off quickly. "You're not thinking this through. What do you think that posse is going to do five miles down the road when they stop the Red Cross truck and when your friends open the back and find you not there? Do you think everybody will just go on as before? Your friends, being unprepared and not knowing they have anything to hide, will say, `Oh, but we just saw her right down the road.' And they will lead the guards to the spot from where we just swam. They'll get an armored vehicle across to here in forty seconds. Ten men, two dogs, ten machine guns, ten pistols. Now--can we go, please? Let's put as much distance between us and them as possible. Do you have a compass, a map?"

"Do you think they'll get into trouble with the Soviet authorities?"

He stood silent for a moment. "I don't think so," he said at last. "They don't like to bring their darkness out into the open. They'll interrogate them for sure. But they're not going to trifle with U.S. nationals. Let's go."

They dried off as best they could, threw on their clothes, and ran to the woods.

Meandering they walked through the night-time woods for what seemed to Tatiana tens of miles. He was ahead with the knife, clearing the way. She was doggedly behind him. Sometimes they ran if the woods were clear. Most of the time it took a grunting effort to get through the thick underbrush. He would shine the flashlight for three seconds to illuminate the way just ahead of them. He often stopped and listened for sound, and then continued forward. She wished they could stop moving. Her legs weren't carrying her. He slowed down and said, "Are you tired?"

"A little. Can we stop?"

He stopped to look at the relief map. "I like where we are, we're much more west than I think they would expect, and not nearly as far south. We've moved laterally very well."

"Yet we're no closer to Berlin."

"No, not much closer. But we're farther away from them, and that's better for now." He closed the map. "You don't have a tent?"

"I have a waterproof trench. We could make a lean-to." She paused. "I'd rather find a barn, maybe? The ground is so wet." Generated by ABC Amber LIT Converter, http://www.processtext.com/abclit.html

"Fine, let's find a barn. It will be warmer and dryer. There will be farms just the other side of the woods."

"So we have to walk some more?"

Alexander pulled her up and, for a moment, held her close to him. "Yes," he said. "We still have a way to go."

Onward and slowly, they moved through the woods.

"Alexander, it'smidnight . How many miles west do you think we've gone in total?"

"Three. In another mile there will be fields."

She didn't want to tell him she was scared to be in the constantly creaking woods. He probably didn't remember the story she had once told him about herself, about being lost in the woods when she was younger. He had been wounded and near death, and probably didn't remember her telling him that being lost in the woods was the most terrifying experience of her life up to then.

They came out onto a field. The night was clear; Tatiana could just make out the shape of a silo at the other end.

"Let's walk across," she said.

Alexander made her walk around. He didn't trust fields anymore, he told her.

The barn was a hundred yards away from the farmhouse. Popping open the latch, Alexander motioned her inside. A horse whinnied in surprise. Inside was warm and smelled of hay and manure and old cow's milk. They were familiar smells to Tatiana, as familiar as Luga. Again a pronounced aching hit her. All the things America had nearly made her forget, she was remembering now with him.

Alexander pulled up a ladder next to a hay loft above the cows and prodded her upward.

In the loft, sitting in a heap on the hay, Tatiana found a flask of water, drank some, gave him some. He drank, and then said, "Got anything else in there?"

Smiling, she rummaged and pulled out a pack of Marlboros.

"Ah, American cigarettes," he said, lighting up. He smoked three cigarettes without saying a word while she sat collapsed on the hay and watched him. Her eyes were closing.