Taking Shots (Assassins, #1)(102)
Because she wasn’t ready, and Shea didn’t want some of her things, he wanted it all. He wanted to mix their things, make a home together.
No matter how much she wanted to make him happy, she just couldn’t do it. Even though she didn’t want to live in her house because she was lonely, the thought of moving everything out of it actually hurt. What would she do? Sell the house, so they could get a bigger one? Did she even want to truly live in Nashville? She would miss her porch, her flowers, and, hell, the whole house. She loved her house.
Why was being in a relationship so freaking hard? It seemed everything that meant the relationship was growing, made Elli almost break out in hives. Maybe she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship. Maybe she needed to rethink this. She needed to go home, instead of staying here.
She should pack.
She pulled the sweater dress over her head, and sat on the bed, looking around the room that was filled with her and Shea’s stuff. A pair of her heels laid in the corner, along with one of her flats, the other one was on the floor beside his side of the bed. Her hair bows were laid across his dresser, while her bra’s that she had just washed hung on his mirror. Her iPod laid beside his iHome, and random pieces of clothes laid with his on the floor.
It seemed to all fit, like it was meant to be there. Her stuff mixing with his, but even though everything looked good together, it still made her nervous. Did he have a problem with it? No, he wanted it there. Elli couldn’t help but remembered how Justin and her things mixed so well. His house looked like something straight out of an expensive classic designing magazine, but he still had no problem kicking her out when he got mad, throwing her things out on the lawn. What if Shea did that?
Shea came out the bathroom, going into the closet. When he came out he was putting on a white shirt, before sliding on the fall colored striped sweater she had gotten him from Macy’s when she had went shopping for her dress. He fixed the bottom of the sweater, before looking up at her.
“Thanks for the sweater, I like it a lot.”
“It looks good on you,” she said when she found her voice, “real good.” He gave her a small smile before heading towards the door that led to the hall. “Hey.” He turned looking back at her, leaning against the door, “Are you sure you’re ready for us to move in together?”
He nodded before saying, “Yes.”
“How do you know, though? Aren’t you scared?”
He shook his head, a small smile going across his face. “No, baby, not at all. Because I think-” he stopped, looking down at the floor, kicking the door frame. Then he looked up at her, his sky like eyes boring into hers, she actually had to catch her breath from being under his intense gaze.
“Because I’m falling in love with you, Elli, and I want to be with you, always.”
Well, she sure didn’t see that one coming.
Chapter 20
It seemed like hours passed when really it was only seconds as Shea looked down at Elli. She was pulling in deep, shuddering breaths as she looked up at him. He refused to look away, daring her with his eyes to do anything before answering him. He watched as she went to say something but stopped herself, still taking in the deep breaths.
Finally, when he thought he couldn’t take it anymore, she said, “How do you know?”
“What?” he asked, “How do I know what?”
“How do you know that you’re falling in love with me? I just don’t understand it, I mean, how does one actually know when they are in love? Does it just hit them? Do you just know? I mean how does it happen? I mean-”
“You’re rambling, Elli,” he said, closing his eyes as he like out a frustrated sigh.
She didn’t love him.
“I know! Because not only do you want me to move in, but you are falling in love with me! You couldn’t wait to drop the love bomb on me till after we were done with the moving in one?” she said standing up, and moving her hands with every word that came out of her mouth.
God, he loved her even though she drove him crazy.
“What do you want me to say, Elli, I’m sorry? I’m sorry for feeling the way I do? Sorry for wanting to be with you every f*cking moment of the day, for wanting only you? I mean what would you want? For me to be a f*cking douche, cheating on you, not telling you I actually feel something for you? I mean for the love of God, Elli, what do you want from this? Is this relationship actually going somewhere?”
She moved her hand over her mouth as she looked down at the ground. He expected her to say something, not start crying. She moved from the bed, walking on insanely high heels to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. He let his head fall into the doorframe, hitting it a few times before walking over to the bathroom door.
“Elli, why are you crying?” he asked, he heard her blow her nose.
“Because you’re right Shea, I don’t know anymore. I mean first it was you being gone, now it’s the fact that I’m scared to move forward in the relationship while your hell bent on moving. I just don’t know anymore.”
“Don’t know what? What do you mean?”
“I mean that maybe we should take a break.”
Okay, that came from left field. Shea felt like she was hitting him with a hundred pucks, square in the chest, he braced his self against the door frame trying to control his breathing.