Take (Need #2)(34)

He looks at me, then away, and back again. “I’m not going back to Purdue.”

I stare at him, then shake my head. “What?”

“I guess now’s as good of a time as any.” He pumps his fist in the air. “Go Buckeyes.”

My mouth drops open, the blood that he’d forced into my face falling back into my body. “You transferred?” My voice is barely a whisper.

Oh, God.

No.

No.

He can’t.

He nods, his fingers brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. “I can’t be without you anymore.”

My face scrunches up, and I swat his hand away. “You did fine for the last three years.”

I swallow back the scream that wants to explode. There’s no way I can handle him being on the same campus as me. Not when he can make me want him inside me with just a look. He’s wrecked me, and I was finally going to have a chance to change things.

He shakes his head. “No, I was a mess.” His voice is just above a whisper, the look in his eyes tears at me. “I’ve always been a mess without you.”

I blink back tears. “I don’t believe you.”

His lips form a hard line, and he nods. “I’m working on that.” He attempts to smile, but gives up. “Come on.”

I follow behind him, my emotions all over the place. After all this time, after every way he’s broken me, how can he make me feel like this?

My bottom lip is trapped between my teeth as we go. Walking behind him, I can see the way his muscles flex. He bypasses all the bedroom furniture setups, walking right up to the dressers, wasting no time in writing down the information.

Then it’s the beds. He sits on each one, lays on a few, and I find myself mimicking him again, just like at the couches.

After about five bounces, I find a good one and lay down. It’s soft, but still firm, and makes me want to find a blanket and curl up. I need a nap after the emotional and physical roller coaster that is Brayden.

I’m not alone for long. Brayden climbs up next to me, both on our side, staring at each other.

“Do you have a costume for this weekend?” he asks.

“Yeah."

“What are you going to wear?”

I can barely think, still stunned. “Not telling.”

“I’ll just have to wait and see then.”

“You’re going?”

Of course he’s going—it’s at Jenn’s house.

“Only because you’re going to be there.” He sits up from the bed and writes down the number.

After stuffing his list in his back pocket, he holds out his hand to help me up. I stare at it for a moment, then up at him.

“Why are you doing all of this?”

That sad smile forms on his face again. “You know why.” He reaches out and strokes his fingers against my cheek, sending a shiver through me. “I love you, and I’m doing everything I can to make you see it. To see how much I can’t live without you.”

Right now, I hate the reaction I have to his words. I want to jump him, kiss him, be with him, but I also hate him.

I’m lost, unsure what to do with the war raging inside me.





June 13th, 2015





“I love you, and I’m doing everything I can to make you see it. To see how much I can’t live without you.”

He can’t live without me. Yeah-f*cking-right. After years of doing such a great job at it, he expects me to believe that now.

And he did do a great job. We all know that.

Brayden says he was miserable while we were separated.

I honestly wish I could believe that.

But I don’t. I never will. So whatever he has to say doesn’t matter.

Speaking of the devil himself, my text notification tone rings out.

Let me see your costume.

I stare at said costume laid out on my bed and swallow.

It’s provocative. Beyond sexy. I know that. I knew that when I picked it. No, I hadn’t known Brayden would be at the party the day I bought the costume, but now I know he will.

He’s going to see me in it.

Damn it. I’m so f*cking horny. I’ve been like this forever.

Thinking about his reaction the moment he sees me in my costume shouldn’t turn me on more.

It does.

Fuck, I need him.

I can’t have him.

This shit has to end already.

I don’t want to show you my costume. As a matter of fact, I don’t want you at the party at all.

It crosses my mind that I should put my phone down before he responds and I’m tempted to continue interacting with him.

Too late.

I’ll let you see a peek of mine if you show me a peek of yours, baby.

I’m smart enough to drop the phone on the bed. I know what’s coming through next—a picture.

Not smart enough to stop myself from wondering what his costume could possibly be. Knowing him, he’ll look devastating in it.

My mouth waters.

My * pounds.

God, what the f*ck? I’m even more out of control than usual. It’s a good thing he’s in Columbus right now.

I f*cked myself earlier in the shower. The same shower he jerked off in days ago. Up against the wet tiles, I rode my fingers until I had no choice but to scream out.