THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(74)

“And sometimes, even now, I look in the mirror, and it’s Jane’s face I see. Shaved head, ugly scar, bruised cheek, huge eyes. Sometimes, if it’s a while between mirrors, I forget what I look like and she shows up instead. I suppose she was the first image I had of myself, after.”

She sniffed back tears, shrugging, as if there was nothing that could be done. It is what it is. God, I hoped she was wrong about that. We had to find out who she really was. I couldn’t bear to think of her standing in my bathroom, staring into my mirror, and seeing that.

She reached up and parted her hair, angling her head towards me.

“It starts here,” she said, pointing to an area just above her ear. “And it goes all the way back here.”

She guided my fingers to the raised line on her scalp. I followed it over her head and around to the back, just below her crown. I was gentle, afraid of hurting her.

Christ almighty – that wasn’t a scar, it was a railroad track. It wasn’t clean and straight, like a surgical scar. It was ragged and bumpy and it made my chest ache. How the hell had she survived something like that? What the hell had done it?

“Jesus,” I whispered, as my hand fell away from her head.

She let her hair fall down over her shoulders. I wanted to wave a magic wand and take all the heartache away, but all I could do was take her into my arms and hold her tight.

“I’m so sorry,” I murmured into her hair.

She nodded into my shoulder, lacing her arms around my back. I couldn’t imagine what she had been through, or how she’d been living with this. It seemed so far outside real life that if I didn’t personally see the pain she carried inside of her, I would’ve thought she was lying, that nobody could live that way.

I didn’t have much to offer her, but she could have it all. Everything I had was hers, without question. I turned my head and kissed her temple, smoothing her hair away from her face. Then I tilted her face to mine and kissed her on the lips. I could taste the salt from her tears and I vowed then and there to protect her from any more pain. She had taken much more than her share. She had lost everything, everybody. I felt lucky by comparison. I still had my home, my family, my friends.

I pulled her closer. I had to show her how much I loved her, not just tell her. She climbed onto my lap, straddling me as the kiss deepened, and I held onto her waist as her knees tucked into my side. I felt both disconnected from my body, and insanely alive at the same time. My heart pounded as we drew apart finally, breathless. I looked up at her and I knew she wanted this as much as I did. There was a deep desire within her eyes that spurred me on. She was no longer shy and guarded. She was letting me in, completely and unreservedly. She was giving herself to me, and I was taking her.

Heart, soul and body. In that order.





I WATCHED THE SUN peeking over the hill, setting fire to the beach. Manu Bay at sunrise was a magical place, caught somewhere between real life and dreamland. The golden glow of the rising sun was like an ancient signal, telling us that now was the time.


Or maybe it was just me.

Last night had given me the kind of glow that was like a neon sign, for all to see. And the first person to see it was Vinnie.

I picked him up outside his place, just before sunrise. Waiting at the top of the driveway in my truck, he jogged towards me in his wettie, carrying his board under his arm. He had thrown his board onto the deck of the truck and jumped into the cab beside me.

“Mornin,’” he said, glancing over at me.

Then he froze, and a slow grin spread over his face.

“Scratch that,” he said. “Details, bro. Lots of ‘em. Go.”

“What do you mean?”

I was wasting my time playing dumb, but I couldn’t help it. I had no luck keeping the smile from my face either.

“What do I mean? You look like the cat who got the cream. I’m guessing Maia’s cream is the cream in question?”

“Dude!”

He just nodded, not even bothering to look embarrassed. I really needed to do some work on toning him down before they spent any real time together.

He chuckled, fastening his seatbelt. The ride out to the bay was long and tedious, frequently punctuated by the request for details. Reluctantly, I gave up a few minor ones, just to get him off my back. He was delighted, lapping them up. I kept the good ones to myself, though.

Like the fact that her breasts fit perfectly in my hands.

Like the fact that she was just as comfortable taking the lead as I was.