THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(32)

“Not everything,” she said, opening her eyes and turning to me. “You’ve still retained your air of mystery, don’t worry.”

Any delusions I’d had about reinventing myself went right out the window, as I realised what bullshit that was. It was only a matter of time. She could ask anyone here what my story was and they’d tell her. It wasn’t the fresh slate I’d hoped for, and my heart sank. I was the same sensible, pathetic loner I’d always been – maybe even more so now.

“Thank you,” she said, oblivious. “For staying with me. And sorry I freaked out on you like that.”

“No need for apologies, or thanks. It was the least I could do. I still think you should come back to my place for a while, though.”

“Thanks, but I’m okay, now – really. Look.” She held out both hands, palms down. “I’ve stopped shaking and everything. I’m hungry, so I must be okay.”

The words came out of nowhere. Maybe it was her smile, giving me the courage to reach. Maybe it was something else. One thing was for sure, I wasn’t prepared to spend another night tossing and turning, wondering whether I should’ve said something, berating myself for not having the guts.

“That’s definitely a good sign,” I said, before I lost my nerve. “I do feel kind of responsible for nearly drowning you out there, though. I’d like to make it up to you, if you’ll let me. Have dinner with me tonight?”

She began to object again, but I wasn’t having any of that. This was my Big Move. Now that I’d put myself out there, I wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“I want you to be able to trust me,” I said, my heart pounding in my ears. “And I promise I won’t throw you to the sharks – so to speak – again. If you still want me to teach you to surf, that is? I mean, I really wouldn’t blame you if you changed your mind.”

She thought about it for a moment. “Yeah, I still want you to teach me.”

“Okay, good. So… dinner? My place, six o’clock?”

I held my breath. I felt like a teenager again. Jesus, a date? It’d been a while. Would I even remember what to do?

She hesitated, just for a moment. “Okay.”

“Excellent,” I exhaled finally, sure my relief was obvious. Smooth, dude. Real smooth. “Sure you’re okay to drive? It’s no problem.”

“I’m fine. But thank you.”

I felt physically lighter, like a weight had been lifted. “Well, I’ll see you later, then.”

“Okay.”

I made my way back to my truck. What was it about her that made everything seem fresh, new – possible, even? It was strange, because even though she looked a lot like Emily, she made me feel very different. Inexplicably, I felt as if I’d been given a second chance, and I was determined not to mess it up this time.

It wasn’t until I was driving back into town that I remembered she had left her clothes and shoes in the back of my truck.





I TRIED TO FIGURE OUT just how long it’d been. Em had been gone for five years. We’d been together four years before that.


Nine years.

It’d been nine years since I’d been on a date with anyone apart from Em. It was a terrifying thought. Had I gone to too much trouble? Or maybe not enough? I didn’t want to scare her off, but I did want to make her feel special. After all, I didn’t do this every day. I wanted to show her that. I needed to go to just enough trouble that she would be impressed, but not too much that it would seem creepy or weird. This was every bit as nerve-wracking as I remembered.

A knock at the door forced my stomach up into my throat. This was it. Had I gotten it right? I could probably wing it a little, if it looked like I was freaking her out. I walked towards the front door, briefly re-checking my appearance in the mirror in the hall as I passed it. Clean boardies and t-shirt, freshly showered and shaved, nerves shot to hell. Check, check and check.

I opened the door smiling, determined to make this work, regardless. “Hi.”

She stood on the doorstep, smiling nervously back at me. “Hi.”

She was wearing a tight red t-shirt and cropped denim skinny jeans that showed off her ankles. Nice. Understated, but very nice. Her hands were clasped in front of her, like a waiting schoolgirl. She did that a lot. Clasped her hands either in front of her, or behind her, as if she didn’t know what to do with them. I liked it. It showed she wasn’t over-confident. It made me want to step up and be confident enough for the both of us.