THE TROUBLE WITH PAPER PLANES(29)

Her wrist was tiny, and wet. I held onto it for a moment longer than necessary, purely because of the thrill that ran through me when I touched her. It was a shiver that worked its way up from the soles of my feet, all the way up the back of my neck.

She stared up at me as I let her hand go, and another wave broke over us, lifting her up onto her tiptoes and pushing us closer together. She grabbed my arm to stop herself from slamming into me, then let me go as the wave passed through us.

My nerve-endings vibrated from where her body had brushed up against mine. As crazy as it sounds, she was like a flame. When she came too close, my body reacted the same way it would when it got close to a bonfire on a cold night. It shuddered with pleasure, sending waves of heat rolling through me. It both freaked me out and left me wanting more. There was a line here, and I knew I was dangerously close to crossing it. I also knew that once I had, there would be no going back.

“You ready to paddle out?” I asked.

“Absolutely – I’ll try to keep up.”

I lurched myself into the sea, stomach on the board, paddling slowly. I kept an eye on her as she came up beside me, following my lead, digging her way through the water as we made our way out beyond the breakers. I guided her out onto the end of the line-up, where we wouldn’t get in anyone’s way. The sand disappeared from beneath our feet and we were floating, bobbing up and down in the swell.

“We’ll just hang out here for a few minutes and see what’s happening,” I said.

The water rose and fell beneath us, and the rhythm of it began to relax me. The sun beat down on my back and arms, and I squinted into the glare behind us, reading the waves.

“Get ready!” I called, turning back to her again, paddling closer. “When I tell you to, paddle like hell, then let the wave take you. Remember to keep your hands and shoulders parallel.”

“Okay.”

I could feel the wave coming, pushing from behind.

“Paddle paddle paddle!”

She put her head down and began to paddle towards the beach, the wave pushing her up from underneath and buoying her onward. I fought against it, riding it out as I watched her. It was a race – girl versus nature. As the power of the wave took over, she stopped paddling and held onto the board, just as I’d told her to. Seconds passed as she rode it hard and fast towards the beach, before she finally let out a holler that carried over the waves back to me, making me grin like an idiot. She stood up on the beach and looked back for me, so I waved to help her get her bearings. Without hesitating, she dived into the waves again and began to make her way back out toward me. I watched her dodging the crashing waves, or diving underneath them and popping up the other side. She was going to make a great surfer. When she finally got back to me, she was still grinning.

“You’re a bloody natural!” I said. “Are you sure you’ve never done this before?”

She glowed with happiness at the compliment and I could almost see the adrenaline racing through her system.

“Come with me this time!” she called, paddling towards me as we both rose above the swell that rolled beneath us.

“You’re on,” I grinned, running a hand over my wet hair.

It seemed the only time I was happy lately, really happy, was when I was in the water. The weightlessness took the edge off the relentless ache in my chest. But being there with Maia, splashing about, having fun, it just reminded me of old times. Another life. One that seemed distant in some ways, and yet in others, so familiar it was like it was just yesterday.

We waited together for the next wave and took off at the same time, paddling fiercely towards the beach. Knowing she was right next to me was distracting, but I made myself to concentrate on the wave, not on her.

This wave was a lot bigger than the last one, and I felt its power pushing me from below. Maia paddled ahead of me, faster, more determined.

“Slow it down!” I called, but she didn’t hear me.

The wave was slowing, but she was too far ahead of it to see. I don’t even know if she would’ve known what to do if she had seen it, but it was too late for that now. I watched helplessly as the wave broke, unleashing a torrent of white water down on top of her. My heart stopped as I searched the white water for her red swimsuit. I didn’t see it.

Jesus.

I crashed my way through the water to where I’d last seen her, still searching, but finding nothing. Time seemed to slow, then stop, as the blood rushed in my ears. I held my breath and went under, leaving the board behind. Where the hell was she? After what seemed like forever, I caught a flash of red and made a beeline for it. The churning water turned her upside down, her arms and legs flailing as I reached for her, my lungs beginning to burn. I grabbed hold of her and hauled us both to the surface as we fought our way through the legacy of another breaking wave. We broke through, gulping down air and sea water. She coughed violently, her body bucking against me as I tried to get my arm around her chest and tilt her head backwards so she could breathe.