Sweet Hope (Sweet Home #4)(47)
Exhaling a long breath, I glanced away and closed my eyes. “Fuck, girl…” I trailed off. “I ain’t used to all this.”
“What?” Aliyana asked nervously, trying to use her fingers below my chin to turn my head. “Used to what?”
But I couldn’t face her. I weren’t sure I wanted to see how much feeling this… this much good… just outright terrified me.
“Axel… please…” Aliynana begged.
Lifting my head, I met her wide gaze. Taking her hand from my palm, I brushed it across my lips, pressing a kiss to the warm skin, then slid it down my neck and over my heart.
Aliyana sucked in a breath and a pink flush flooded her cheeks. “It’s beating so fast,” she whispered.
I didn’t give a reaction, but as her searching eyes probed, I sighed and rasped, “I ain’t used to feeling good things… I can’t ever face feeling much of anything… I’ve done too much bad shit, enough to drown me…” Aliyana’s eyes glistened and, leaning in, she pressed three barely-there kisses along my cheek. Closing my eyes at that foreign act of tenderness, something in me caved, and I whispered, “but with you… I feel… I feel … everything, every-f*cking-thing… right here…” I pressed her hand harder against my heart.
I wasn’t sentimental. Truth was, I was a cold-hearted bastard. I wasn’t real good with words, confessing my feelings or all that other sappy shit chicks loved. But that didn’t mean my sinner’s heart didn’t feel, didn’t race when she was near… when she smiled at me… when she plain understood what I was feeling deep inside, without me saying a damn word. She gave this cold heart of mine life. She gave it light. She was its f*cking rhythmic beat.
“Axel…” Aliyana murmured, before gently pressing her lips to mine. This kiss was different than anything before. Because this kiss was given even though all our cards lay on the table.
Breaking the kiss, Aliyana pressed her forehead to mine, then carefully she stood up. I pulled in a long breath as my cock left her *, but I couldn’t take my eyes from her as she pulled her dress down until it pooled at her feet. My fists clenched the bed linen as she stood before me in just her pale pink panties and cowboy boots.
I knew that for the rest of my life, the image of the most perfect chick on the planet, undressing just for me, would be forever branded on my brain.
Shucking the brown boots, Aliyana then hooked her fingers on the sides of her panties and slowly pushed them down her legs. Once completely naked, she stepped toward me, holding out her hand. Putting my palm in hers, and trusting someone completely for the first time ever, I stood.
Aliyana looked up at me through heavy eyelids, releasing my hand, only to drop them to my already-undone jeans. Putting her palms on my chest, she ran her fingers down my abs, over my stomach and hooked her fingers into my waistband. Slowly, Aliyana pulled down my jeans until they joined her clothes on the floor.
Retaking my hand, she pulled back the sheet of the bed and crawled in, guiding me to follow. I did it without question. Shit. I’d follow this chick anywhere.
As I lay down facing Aliyana, she squeezed my hand and cast me a nervous smile.
“Shit, Aliyana,” I said, bringing our joined hands to my lips.
“You’re Axel Carillo,” she whispered in disbelief, making my lips freeze on the soft skin on the back of her hand. “I’m not supposed to want you…” she said shakily, and I felt my heart sink.
Aliyana must have read something on my face, because she shuffled closer until our bodies were flush and we shared the same air. “...But I can’t help it. You’re not the man everyone says you are… are you?”
Feeling my heartbeat pick up speed, I combed back the hair from her face and said, “I’m exactly who they think I am.”
Aliyana swallowed, a droplet of sweat from our f*ck rolling down her olive-skinned slim neck. “No… you’re punishing yourself for the actions you desperately took to save your family, not embracing the good man you are now.” My stomach clenched at the sincere belief she had in me and I closed my eyes.
Aliyana’s hand pressed on my cheek. “Look at me,” she urged. When I didn’t do as she wanted, she rolled me onto my back, her tits pressing against my chest. “Axel, look at me,” she pushed harder.
Reluctantly opening my eyes, Aliyana’s searching gaze was assessing my face. “Answer this,” she said. I waited for her question. “Did you take that coke you bought tonight?”
My eyebrows furrowed and I tried to turn away, but her hands on my face refused to budge. “Answer me,” she insisted. “Did you take it?”
My jaw clenched, but seeing she wasn’t gonna drop it, I rasped. “No, I didn’t. You f*cking happy?”
The smile that then followed my reluctant confession floored me. Gently holding her wrists, I added, “But if you hadn’t shown up, I would’ve.”
That smiled disappeared and her eyes glanced away. “I don’t believe you would have,” she disagreed.
“You don’t know me as well as you think then, do you?”
Aliyana’s face melted into a sad expression and she nodded, moving her finger to run over my scowl. “I do. Tell me,” she watched as her finger traced the edges of my beard, “where did you get it? The coke?”