Sweet Forty-Two(61)

So, I opened my door and he followed without protest, crashing limply onto my couch, still clutching the letter for dear life. Within minutes, he was asleep. I might not have believed it if I hadn’t, myself, fallen asleep during or immediately following an emotional catastrophe ending in tears, but I was thankful he did. It would hurt him all over again when he woke, but he needed the rest to be able to deal with that. Even when a wound is raw and exposed, it still needs to be covered in between exposure to dry it out. It was a delicate cycle, one I’d unfortunately become familiar with. Wound care, emotional style.

Once he’d stayed asleep for several minutes, I took a deep breath, allowing a few tears of my own to join the heavy party in my apartment. Regan let it all out there ... his hurt, his internal homicide, in such a way I was almost jealous. I’d wanted to scream and kick and cry for as long as I could remember. Next week would bring a new wave of terror as my mother began shock treatment. Of that, I was certain.

I wouldn’t tell Regan about that. Not yet, anyway. I knew I should, especially after the lack of communication surrounding the existence of my mother, but ... no, not yet. Timing never had been on my side, after all. It was my problem to deal with and not burden the guy who just read a letter from his dead girlfriend. He’d want to help, and he’d be mad if he found out, but that was a risk I was willing to take to protect him.

That I wanted to protect him from anything was deeply disturbing to me, and further proof that I had to keep him at forearm’s length at the very least, since full arm’s length was not kosher with him.

As he slept, I picked up my cell phone and did the most unthinkable thing.

“Hello?” Lissa shouted over jukebox music.

“Liss, it’s Georgia. I can’t come in tonight, okay?”

“Is it your mom? Is everything okay?” I so rarely called in, I understood the worry in her tone.

“She’s okay. Thanks, though.”

“Uh ... okay. It’s slow tonight, anyway. I’ve got you covered. Keep me posted if you need anything, K?”

“I will.”

I hung up the phone and watched Regan sleeping curled on his side on my oversized couch. With more tears streaming down my face, I shuffled over to the crescent shape formed by the curve of his body, and curled myself into it, my back to him, and cried into the couch cushions until I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

No white rabbits.

No Red Queen.

Just a lonely girl.

Who needed a friend.





Regan

I slept for what felt like three days. Before I opened my eyes, I took a deep breath and was surrounded by warmth and vanilla. Not the kind of vanilla girls can buy in a spray bottle, but the kind that comes from the actual bean. Madagascar, I think they’re from. It was sweet and comfortable.

It was Georgia.

Georgia?

My back and arms stiffened as I mentally assessed the situation. Like a tsunami, it came back. There was Rae’s letter, Georgia’s cupcakes left on the dock, and ... I was asleep on Georgia’s couch. Rather, had been before I opened my eyes and found myself nose to a button-nosed sleeping Georgia.

Her arms were curled up against her chest, which was pressed against mine, and her features were soft. There was no ridge between her eyebrows from her ever-present cynicism. Her cheeks were pink and her lips were soft and warm. And, I know that because they were touching mine. Touching. Not kissing. Not moving. Just resting there with each other.

If I could have frozen my muscles any further I would have. As it was, my arm was draped over her waist and my back was pinned against the back of the couch. Before I could think much more about what we were doing in that position, and why, I heard Bo and Ember’s voices across the hall.

“Regan? You there, man?” Bo’s voice had an anxious edge to it that was rarely present in him. “I’ll call him again.”

A few seconds later, from the table by the door where I must have discarded my things, my phone started to ring, and their voices stopped outside.

Great.

I shifted slightly, needing to get to my phone and the door and Bo and Ember, but not wanting to roll Georgia onto the floor. I didn’t need to be concerned about that for too long, because as soon as I moved some more, and a soft knock sounded on her door, Georgia’s eyes shot open.

“Shit!” Her blue eyes widened in apparent horror as she shifted backward and landed on the floor with a thump.

“Georgia?” Ember sounded concerned as she knocked faster. “Are you okay? It’s Ember. We’re looking for Regan.”

“I’m fine. Just a sec!” Georgia looked between me and the door like we were all on fire. I chuckled as I stood, reaching down a hand to help her.

“This isn’t funny! What the hell is the matter with you?” Her voice was deep and raspy from the sleep. She refused my hand and stood, wiping her eyes and looking around.

I looked out the window and saw it was far darker than it should have been after a little nap. Once I reached my phone I saw it was past ten, meaning I was late for my drink with Bo, explaining their presence here.

As I placed my hand on the doorknob, Georgia snapped her fingers.

“What are you going to tell them?” she whispered in panic.

I shrugged. “Let’s find out.”

I wasn’t thinking clearly, and that was the only thing that was clear as I opened the door and found Bo and Ember standing there, looking around like they were playing a game of Marco Polo.