Sweet Forty-Two(20)

Regan and I formed a duet of choking on our coffee.

“Precisely.” Bo chuckled. “Don’t say anything, though.”

“Your secret’s safe with me, man.”

Looking at Regan as he spoke, I was filled with the sensation that his words held exactly their weight.

I shook my head. “You said thought, right? So what’s with the broody headstand?”

Bo sighed. “It just freaked her out, is all. Not being ready for kids. We haven’t been back together that long, we’re not married...” He shrugged, but didn’t seem to buy his own spiel. Good Dad glittered in his eyes. That man wanted children, and I had a hunch he’d rock it. I hoped that Ember chick wouldn’t screw it up.

“Back together?” I hadn’t intended on being so nosey.

Regan chuckled. “That’s not a story you want to hear at six in the morning. Trust me. I haven’t even pieced it all together.”

“Funny.” Bo playfully punched Regan’s lean shoulder. “I’m heading out there to check how long she’s been like that. She loses track of time, sometimes.”

“Godspeed, bro.” Regan mocked a military salute as Bo headed onto the sand to his Nature Valley girlfriend.

As the door slid shut, I became hyperaware of my proximity to Regan, which was no longer necessary given we were the only two left in the kitchen. All I had to do was step to the right, just to get to the other side of the island. And, I couldn’t do it. Next defense? Sarcasm.

“Going surfing?” I pointedly stared at his shorts, which, if I’m not mistaken, had slid down an extra inch when he’d retrieved his coffee mug from the cabinet. Though the coast was loaded with surfers, it was more densely populated with those who dressed as if they were.

“Yep.” He rinsed out his mug and placed it in the dishwasher.

“Seriously?” I let out a suspicious laugh.

“Seriously.” Regan turned around and leaned against the counter, curling his hands around the edges. He was a little more tense and quiet than I’d have expected for someone who could do what he did with that violin on stage. Suddenly the lack of tattoos wasn’t a surprise.

“Well ... be safe. I’m gonna go wake up CJ to take me to get my car.”

“Yeah,” Regan drew out, “you know as well as I do that that’s not gonna happen. When he’s out. He’s out.”

I knew he was right, but there was no way I was going to hang out in Barbie and Ken’s Bayside Bungalow all day.

“I’ll take you. Let me get my shirt.” His triceps flexed as he pushed himself away from the counter.

“No, that’s okay, you’ve got plans. Hanging ten and all of that.”

Regan let out a hearty laugh. “More like choke-on-saltwater. I suck. Brilliantly. Plus, you’ve got to show me that apartment today.”

“Oh, right. Yeah...” I stammered.

“That’s today, right? You said Monday.”

“No. Yes. I did. Um ... can we jet now, though? I know it’s early, but that’s fine.” I shook the tingling sensation from my fingers, hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“We can go now.” Regan’s eyebrows drew inward as his voice softened. In a blink, his long, slender fingers were on my cheekbone. “Are you okay? You look pale all of a sudden.”

“I’m okay.” It came out as a whisper. It was getting harder for me to tell the difference between panic attacks and something more serious. But in the kitchen with a stranger was no place to start that conversation.

There was no place to start that conversation. It just kind of happened. Mid-sentence and I’d be floating fast and slowly all at once with Alice down that hole.

“Okay. Let’s go.” Looking up, I found Regan with a grey tank and his black Converses, and no recollection of the amount of time that had passed.

Looking out the window in an attempt to reorient myself, I found Bo and Ember sitting in the sand, staring at the water. They were never leaving each other. That was the message scrawled across the scene of her head on his shoulder while his fingers glided up and down her arm. I hated that it was so obvious.

I hated that I’d never have that.

I cleared my throat. “Yeah. Let’s go.”





Regan

“Do you want to just swing up to La Jolla right now and then I can take you back to get your car?” I glanced at Georgia out of the corner of my eye, who seemed to have glued herself to the door of my car. Her arm was pressed against the door, and if she had moved her head a fraction of an inch, it would have rested on the glass.

“No, I have to go a little further north later today, so bring me to my car at E’s and you can follow me back.” She looked out the window as she spoke. Not at the cars passing by, though. Further out. Like into another time, or something.

I took a deep breath and struggled to form the next words. “Sorry things got so crazy last night. How are you?” Georgia didn’t seem to be the kind of girl who liked to be asked if she was okay.

I was right.

She arched her eyebrow as she whipped her head around. “I’m fine.”

“Is Dex your boyfriend?”

“Are you deaf to social cues, or something? What about my tone makes you think I want to talk about Dex at all?” She leaned her head against the window.