Sweet Fall (Sweet Home #2)(86)
Levi stood and, with a braveness I would never have thought possible, he stood by my side and together we entered the room. Dr. Small was there when we walked in, and he gave us a sympathetic smile.
Seeing my mamma hooked up to machines nearly killed me, and I knew this was it. This was when Chiara Carillo was freed from her cage, from the confines of her broken-down body.
“Austin, Levi, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, boys, but there’s nothing more we can do. Your mom will not see out the week. It’s time to make your peace.”
A pained wail ripped from Levi’s chest, and as a unit of two, we hit the sterile Lysol-ed floor, and I wrapped him in my arms. Several feet walking on the hospital tiles sounded behind me, and my friends joined us on the floor, supporting us as we broke.
I glanced to my mamma on the bed, and I could almost hear her say, “Famiglia isn’t always blood, mio caro. Famiglia is built on bridges of love. Famiglia is there for you without condition. Famiglia supports you in your darkest moment of need.”
Levi and I wouldn’t ever be alone. This right here was our famiglia. With one huge exception. But I’d be damned if my Pix didn’t feel this love too. I just had to figure out how to rescue her from herself first.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Austin
Three days later and there was no change. I spent my days and nights here at the hospital, switching from one room to the next. My mamma was in a coma, no change in her condition, and Pix was lost in her head, no change in her either.
Moving to her iPhone her daddy had brought in, I pressed play on her favorite song, “Sleeping Sun” by Nightwish, the haunting lyrics filling the room. But my Pix never moved, just stayed where she lay, unaffected, staring at nothing at the farthest side of the room.
The door opened behind me, and when I looked around, Dr. Hart was at the door, clutching a brown book of some sort in his hand. After casting a devastated glance at Lexi, he motioned with a wave for me to follow him outside.
As soon as I shut the door, Dr. Hart moved right before me, shaking the old brown book. “When I first found this this morning in Lexi’s room and started reading it, I didn’t know whether to hug you or have you arrested for your extracurricular activities. I knew when I first met you that day in the hospital that you were a Heighter.” He pointed to the stidda on my cheek. “That famous star gave it away. But I didn’t know you were a coke dealer too. My first instinct was to march down here and never let you see my girl again.”
I swallowed at his cutting words and felt like the piece of shit he was making me out to be.
“But then I kept reading the inner workings of my daughter’s fragile mind, and her self-loathing and loneliness she’d had since a teen seemed to fade when you entered her life.” He laid a hand my shoulder, water filling his green eyes… eyes just like Lexi’s. “She loves you, son. Loves you so violently that I never thought I’d ever see the day. You made her see herself as beautiful… You don’t know what a gift that is to me, to her momma. With you, she saw herself as worthy. For that, I owe you the world.”
Dr. Hart broke down at that point, his chest heaving. I put my hand on his arm.
“But I f*cked up. I left her.”
Dr. Hart lifted his head and placed the brown book into my hands. “This is her journal. You need to read it. I want you to read it. I’ve bookmarked the entry that applies to you.”
I looked down to the journal like it was a bomb in my hand, and Dr. Hart moved away without another word but glanced back and said, “If she gets through this, you need to get out of that gang. My daughter will not be put in harm’s way anymore.”
“It’s already done with. It was the moment I walked into this place and saw my soul mate laying on that hospital bed. If she gets through this, sir, I’ll do whatever it takes to gain back her trust… and yours.”
Dr. Hart sighed. “You know, Austin. You’re a good kid. A good, but lost, kid. I’m trusting that you’ll do what’s right.” With that, he walked away.
Shuffling into the solitary family room, I shut the door and opened the pages revealing the intricate musings of Pix’s mind.
Dear Daisy… This is my first letter to you…
Dear Daisy… I’m terrified. I’m not eating, not sleeping…
Dear Daisy… Last night was the most magical night of my life…
Dear Daisy… I wish you were here… I never see Austin anymore, and I feel as though my heart is breaking…
Clutching the journal in my hands, I almost tore the paper. Her words were cutting, terrifying, and I was finding them real hard to read.
But with a long exhale, I turned to the entry for me. It was written the very last day we had spoken, after we’d made love in the summerhouse. Just before I left her for good…
My eyes wandered over the words…
Dear Daisy,
Dear… you…
Where to begin…?
There are so many things I wish I had said to you. There are so many things that I wish I could tell you now. But I lack courage. I would be unable to voice the words I so dearly want to say, too afraid of your rejection. So instead, I bare them here, on the pages I hold most dear. I am too weak to tell you this face-to-face, but…
I love you.