Surprise Delivery(98)

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” he says. “I’ve had a lot going on.”

He gives his head a shake and pulls his gaze away from Aurora, focusing on me instead. It doesn’t lessen the anxiety coursing through my body. I just know that all of my worst fears are coming to fruition. I can feel it.

I place a gentle kiss on her forehead and turn away from him. “I need to put her down,” I say. “I’ll be right back.”

I close the bedroom door behind me and lean against it, trying to calm myself. It’s possible he doesn’t know, and I’m just misinterpreting things. I mean, all he did was look at my precious girl. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t come storming in here with a pack of lawyers. I’m simply overreacting to the stress and angst of the last few days.

That has to be it, right?

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my frayed nerves. Still, the look on Duncan’s face as he looked at Aurora was odd, to say the least. Something is going on with him and I don’t know what it is. But it may not be what I think it is. It could be family stress. Job stress. It could be a million different things and I won’t know what it is until I talk to him.

Laying Aurora down in her crib gently, I start the mobile spinning and playing music for her. It’s not long before her eyes close and she drifts off to sleep. Which means I’ve run out of time. I need to put on my big girl panties, go out into the living room, and deal with – well – whatever it is I have to deal with.

With one more deep, cleansing breath, I step out of the bedroom and back into the living room. The air in the room is heavy and oppressive. It’s thick with tension and the expectation of a fight. Duncan is standing at the dining room table and it takes me a minute to realize what it is he’s doing – he’s reading the contract Henry dropped off.

“I already know,” he says, his back still to me. “About Aurora.”

My body hums with a terrified energy and my stomach lurches. I fight it off and stand tall. I knew this was a possibility. I knew I needed to be prepared for it. I’m not going to give up my daughter without one hell of a fight.

“I know you have to be pissed,” I say. “But, let me –”

Duncan turns around and I’m surprised to see that his face isn’t darkened with anger as I’d expected it would be. Instead, it’s filled with an expression of – hurt.

“Yeah, I’m pissed,” he says. “But more than anything, I’m hurt, Alexis. I’m hurt that you’d lie and keep something so important from me.”

“I never lied to you, Duncan. I never –”

I bite my words off as he holds up a finger to stop me, a flash of that dark anger in his eyes. “Don’t,” he interrupts. “Don’t you dare parse words with me, Alexis. Not telling me is every bit as much of a lie as giving me a fake name.”

I let out a long breath and lower my gaze. He’s right, of course. Lying by omission is a lie, no matter which way you slice it. Parsing words and tap-dancing around the truth of things isn’t going to help me here. It’s not going to salve his emotional wounds. All it’s going to do is piss him off even more and bring me even closer to having my ultimate fears realized.

“You’re right. And I have no excuse,” I say. “What I did was absolutely indefensible.”

“Then why?” he asks. “Why in the hell would you lie to me about this? Why would you keep this from me?”

“I was scared, Duncan. Terrified,” I explain.

“Of what? Me?” he presses. “Why would you be afraid of me?”

“I was afraid of losing my baby,” I reply. “I had no idea how you’d react to me telling you that Aurora is your daughter. I was afraid you’d take her from me.”

He shakes his head and sits down in the chair at the dining room table, his eyes never leaving mine. I move over and sit on the arm of the couch, crossing my hands over my chest protectively.

“Why would I do that, Alexis?” he asks. “What would ever give you the idea that I’d take her from you?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know. It’s irrational, I know,” I shrug. “It’s just – she’s my entire world right now, Duncan. She’s everything to me and it was wrong to keep it from you, but I didn’t know what else to do. I had no idea how you felt about kids – I still don’t. But I was scared to death that you’d have me declared unfit or something and take her from me.”

“That makes no sense, Alexis,” he replies. “You know how I feel about you. Why would I then turn around and hurt you like that?”

I bite my bottom lip as I feel the tears welling in my eyes. “I wanted to tell you, Duncan. I almost did so many times,” I say. “But my own fears made me stop before I could. Then, when everything happened with your brother, I worried that you’d feel like I trapped you. I love you, Duncan and I didn’t want you ever thinking that I was using you for your money. I’m not what Henry thinks I am.”

“And you think I don’t know that?” he asks, genuine hurt in his tone. “You don’t think that I don’t believe you’re anything Henry said? Would I have punched him for saying it if I did?”

I shake my head and can’t keep the tears from falling. They roll down my face despite my best efforts to keep them in check. I wish and silently pray for him to come wrap his arms around me, to pull me to him, and tell me that everything’s going to be okay. Right now, what I want more than anything, is for him to comfort me.