Stripping Callum (Last Hangman MC Book 6)(56)

The only things I need are the memories, and those are forever imprinted in my mind and heart. I’m not ready to let go, but Bella needs those things—the toys, the clothes. I know she could use them for Elijah since she’s just lost everything.

It’ll break my heart every time I see him in Billy’s clothes or playing with his toys, but I have to do this. I need to man up. She doesn’t deserve the shit that’s been happening to her, and this is the only little payback I can give her for what I’ve put her through.

Sending her a quick text to come join me, I look at the picture on the nightstand. It’s a picture of Alina, Billy, and I just a few days before it happened. We were at the park having a picnic, and we asked a passerby to take a picture of us. It’s the only picture of the three of us. Usually, I was the one taking the pictures of Alina. Back then there were no smartphones, and you didn’t do selfies yet. Not that I do them now, except when one of the girls forces me to be in one, and they always whine because I don’t smile in them. I’ve never liked pictures of myself. I only see the sad, broken man that I am, and I don’t like that reflection.

A soft knock on the door dissolves my thoughts, and I tell her to come in. Judging by the look on her face, she never expected to see a little boy’s room in this house. Realization seems to dawn on her, and she looks sad for me. I hold my hand out to her and she joins me.

Handing her the picture, she takes it in her small hands and looks at it with a sad smile on her face.

“His name was Billy,” I say on a shuddering breath.

“He looks like you.” She smiles, looking up at me.

“He looks more like his mother, but thanks. He was Elijah’s age.” I blow out a breath. This is a lot harder than I thought. I don’t want to tell her everything. I can’t.

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” she whispers.

“No, not now. I’m not ready.” She nods and kisses my shoulder.

“Whenever you’re ready, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

“Thanks.” I wrap my arm around her shoulders and hold her close to me.

“You’re welcome.”

A few minutes’ pass before I can say anything else. I’m shook up by all of this, and I hate appearing this weak and emotional. Something my father always yelled at me and beat me for.

“They died fourteen years ago. They were getting in the car so Alina could take Billy to school, and the car went up in flames. I couldn’t do anything. I had to watch them die.” My voice breaks, and so does my fight against my tears.

Bella holds me and comforts me. She doesn’t say anything. There’s nothing to say. She’s there for me, and that’s all that matters right now. That I’m not alone through this. There’s no telling what kind of f*cked up shit I could get into.

We stay on Billy’s bed for hours, just holding each other until I calm down. Very few people know what happened exactly. I can never bring myself to talk about it because it hurts too much to go through it again. I want to talk to Bella about it, tell her everything, but I don’t want to burden her. Not when she has her own shit to deal with. It’s selfish because I’m sure she would just listen to me spill my guts out to her, but I can’t do this to her right now. This isn’t about me. It’s about her.

“You can take everything. The clothes, the toys, the teddies,” I say kissing her head.

“What? No, I can’t.” She looks at me as if I’m insane.

“Yes, you can and you will. Elijah needs clothes and toys. You lost everything. These are never going to be used again. Hell, I’m sure there are moth holes in some of the clothes, but whatever Elijah could use, take it. Please. This is the least I can do.”

“What happened tonight isn’t your fault.”

“It is.”

“Uh, no. You aren’t the one who decided to turn my car into fireworks. Whoever did that is f*cked up in the head. I get why you reacted the way you did when it happened. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must have felt back then and tonight when you witnessed it again. I don’t know how you survived it, but this is not your fault.” She holds my face in her hands, enunciating every word.

“Had we not been together, none of this would have happened.” I sigh.

“Maybe, maybe not. Do you know who did this? Did you know this was going to happen?”

“No,” I say truthfully.

“Then stop kicking yourself about it.”

“Alright. Will you take stuff for Elijah?”

“Are you sure? Isn’t it going to be hard to see him with them? Unless this is a goodbye present?” She holds my face and glares at me.

“It’ll break my heart every time, but he needs them. I’d rather him have them than for you to have to scrape every penny you can to replace everything. And it’s totally out of the question for you to go back to the strip club for a while.” I glare at her.

“You didn’t answer one of my questions.”

“No, this isn’t a goodbye present. What about what I said?” I take her hands off my face and kiss them.

“I don’t like it when you’re bossy, makes me want to slap you again. I wasn’t planning on going back right now.”

“Good and I know, Ayden and Nancy threaten to punch me at least once a day.” I chuckle.