Stripping Callum (Last Hangman MC Book 6)(53)
“Oh god,” she groans.
“I might go see her tonight and hopefully get to talk to her.”
“At the strip club?” she asks dumbfounded.
“Yeah, I’ll wait for her to come out so we can talk.”
“Why not go now?”
“I just got my dick sucked, she saw it, and I came in that girl’s mouth as I was looking at her. I think that’s enough for one morning. I’ll give her a couple of hours, and then I’ll go see her. Hopefully, she’ll agree to talk to me.” I shrug.
“I hope for you she will.” She pats my arm, and I nod.
I spend the next half hour pushing Nancy on the swing and watching the kids. They are a daily reminder of what I’ll never have with Billy. I never grieved. I went into a dark place, but I never allowed myself to grieve the loss of my wife and kid. Maybe that’s the source of all my problems. I should have allowed myself some time to pay my respect for them and mourn their loss, but I was too self-absorbed to do that.
My nerves are building up. I told Nancy that I’d wait for Bella after work, but I can’t stand the thought of her doing a lap dance for another guy. Even though what I did was horrible, I don’t want her to do it in spite of what I did and regret it later on. I can live with it. She’s too good for that.
Taking my usual spot, I order a beer and wait for her to come on stage. I can’t see her react too well to my presence here, but I had to see her.
Three girls come on stage and do their thing before she comes out for her turn, and she sees me straightaway. If looks could kill I’d be dead the second she spotted me. She starts dancing, and I’m mesmerized. She’s beautiful and gracious as ever.
She only breaks eye contact with me when she’s on the pole, and it’s only for a few beats. That woman makes me feel things I never thought I could ever feel. I hate myself for putting the hate she has in her eyes. It’s totally justified. I never thought she’d come around and that I had lost her forever. She came to fix things, and I f*cked it up even more, as always.
When it’s not someone after the women in my life, it’s my own doing that f*cks them up one way or another.
Too soon, she’s done dancing. She gathers the tips she earned and moves to the backstage area. I know she is going to deny me a lap dance. I don’t blame her, but if she goes to the VIP area with another man, it’s going to kill me. Maybe not physically but emotionally it will.
A few minutes later, she comes out wearing her street clothes. That can only mean that she’s not going to go through lap dances, and that reassures me, making me somewhat happy. At least I won’t have to feel her rejection and see her go to the back with another man.
She glares a hole in my head as she walks past me and toward the entrance. I down the rest of my beer and follow her in silence. I want to talk to her desperately, but for once, I’m speechless. I don’t know where to start. I could say that I’m sorry for what I said or did today, but it goes deeper than that. I have some serious explaining to do as to why I tried to push her away. Why I’ve been so affected by what happened at her place.
“Are you seriously going to follow me wherever I go like a lost puppy?” She spins around to face me. She’s annoyed with me, and I get why. I’m f*cking mad at myself for the hell I’ve put her through.
“I just want to make sure you’re alright.” I face her, holding her gaze.
“I’m fine, Callum,” she enunciates.
“I don’t think you are.”
“Oh, really? And why is that?” She walks backward to her car, her eyes never leaving me. I’m not sure at this moment if she fears me and is scared of turning her back to me.
“Some f*cked up people are after me. They’ve been for years, and they are responsible for the death of my son and wife. They were killed, and I had to watch them burn alive. Everything that’s been happening—
the notes, your place being trashed—it makes me think back to those days. I can’t nor want to imagine ever losing you and much less in such horrible conditions,” I spit my words at her, letting my anger out, but I’m not angry with her. I’m angry with myself.
“What?” she asks, sounding dumbfounded.
“My son and wife we—” An ear-shattering boom shakes the ground as shards of glass blast outward, and bright orange embers dance in the night sky. Acting on instinct, I bring Bella to the ground quickly, making sure I protect her without crushing her small body with mine. The blaze of flames is bright, and I tuck Bella’s face against my chest, obstructing her from the view of her car ablaze.
Flashbacks of Alina and Billy’s accident come to mind, and I can’t help the blood-curdling scream that comes out of me. I’m back to that day, on my lawn when it all happened. When I didn’t have time to save either of them. When my life ended. I’m back to that time in life. I realize that losing Bella last week made me feel the same way as losing Alina and Billy. Sure, the circumstances are very much different but knowing that I pushed her to the point where she had to walk out on me because in that moment she hated me crushed the newfound happiness I was feeling.
“Callum?” Bella’s soft voice brings me back to reality. I look at her, shocked beyond belief at what just happened. She strokes my cheek, looking at me. The hate that was in her eyes earlier is gone and is replaced with concern.