Stepbrother Dearest(54)

The secret was never supposed to come out. The plan was to have me believe that the man who degraded me for as long as I could comprehend words was my father.

When he left my mother for another woman, Mami would eventually have a nervous breakdown and spill the truth one night about how I actually came to be. Once she’d divulged all of the sickening details, I couldn’t figure out who was worse: the man I always believed was my father or the sperm donor I never had a chance to meet.

The f*cked up story of my life actually began over 25 years ago in Ecuador. That was where a U.S. businessman who emigrated from Ireland, Patrick O’Rourke, spotted a beautiful teenage girl selling her artwork on the street.

Her name was Pilar Solis. Patrick always had a penchant for art and beautiful women, so he was instantly mesmerized. With her exotic beauty and extreme talent, she was unlike anyone he’d ever come across.

But she was young, and he was leaving soon. That didn’t stop him from going after what he wanted.

Patrick was a higher-up at a U.S. coffee powerhouse. They’d tasked him with overseeing the purchase of some crops outside of Quito.

The only thing Patrick had been overseeing was Pilar.

He’d visit her street cart every morning and bought a painting each day until eventually, he’d purchased them all. Pilar’s paintings were a main source of income for her large, impoverished family. All of the images depicted intricate stained-glass windows painted from memory.

Patrick became obsessed—more with the girl than her art. His trip was supposed to have only lasted three weeks, but he extended it to six.

Unbeknownst to Pilar, Patrick wasn’t going home unless he could take her with him.

Even though she was under 18, he located her parents and began to court her with their approval. He’d given them money and purchased gifts for every member of the Solis family.

He spoke to her father about the possibility of taking her back to the U.S. with him where he could take her under his wing, put her through school and help her build a real art career. The family was desperate for one of their own to have that kind of opportunity. They eventually agreed to let her go to America with Patrick.

Pilar was captivated and scared of the older man all at once. She felt an obligation to go along with him despite her trepidation. He was handsome, charismatic and controlling.

After moving Pilar to the states, Patrick kept to his word. He married her when she turned 18 to facilitate her being able to stay in the U.S., enrolled her in art school in addition to English classes and used his connections to get her artwork into some Bay area galleries. The one catch went without saying: Pilar was his. He owned her.

What she didn’t realize was that Patrick had a family—an estranged ex-wife who’d just moved back into town with their son.

One afternoon, Pilar was painting in the room Patrick built for that very purpose. A strapping young man wearing nothing but jeans who looked about her age appeared at the doorway. Pilar had no idea who he was, just that her body instantly reacted to him. He was a younger, more handsome version of her husband. She was shocked to find out that Patrick had a son and that he would be staying at the house for the summer.

Every afternoon while Patrick was at work, his son, Randy, would sit and watch Pilar paint. It started out as something innocent. She’d tell him stories about Ecuador, he’d introduce her to the latest music and American pop culture—things Patrick couldn’t relate to at 20 years their senior.

Soon, Pilar found herself completely smitten and in love for the first time in her life. Randy, who always felt that Patrick abandoned him, held no allegiance to his father. When Pilar admitted that her feelings for her husband were platonic, Randy didn’t hesitate to take full advantage.

One day, he’d crossed the line and kissed her. From that point on, there was no going back. Their afternoon encounters went from innocent conversations to sordid rendezvous. Eventually, they’d started to talk about a secret future. The plan was to carry on their affair until Randy finished college and was no longer financially dependent on Patrick. Then, they’d both run off together.

In the meantime, Randy moved permanently into Patrick’s house to be closer to her and pretended to have girlfriends to throw his father off. Randy and Pilar were always extremely careful until the one time they weren’t and miscalculated Patrick’s return date from a business trip to Costa Rica.

That was the day Patrick walked in on his young wife f*cking his son in their bed. That was also the moment that set off the chain of events that led to my existence.

An enraged Patrick locked Pilar in a closet while he beat the shit out of Randy before kicking him out of the house. Patrick then allegedly raped my mother in the same bed he’d found her in with his son. By the time Randy broke through the window, it was too late.

Exactly what happened next is not completely clear because the details given to me have always been sketchy. The only thing I know with absolute certainty is that Patrick never left that bedroom alive.

Mami says he fell and accidentally hit the back of his head in the middle of a struggle with Randy. I suspect that Randy might have killed him, but she would never admit to that if it were true. I knew she’d protect Randy until the day she died despite his betrayal of their marriage.

The police never suspected anything and bought the story about Patrick falling and hitting his head.

Because he’d lived lavishly and had been putting Randy and Pilar through school, Patrick had no money to leave them. Randy had to drop out of college and ditch his dreams to take odd jobs.