Steam (Homecoming Hearts #4)(62)

Ashby pondered his words for a moment. “You know,” he said. “I always go for these hyper masculine alpha dudes. And…I think they’re the type that kind of wish they were straight. But guys like me are the closest they can get to a girlfriend. So…they end up resenting me?” He shrugged. “It’s just a theory, one I’ve only just now considered. But maybe what I needed was a straight dude who likes the girly side of me as well as my cock.”

Trent arched an eyebrow. “I don’t have a lot of experience,” he said, lifting the covers and peering down, “but it is a pretty great cock.”

Ashby’s peels of laugher echoed around the beige hotel room, filling it with life. “Why thank you,” he said, pretending to swish his hair back.

Trent considered him. It didn’t seem unusual to him that Ashby ‘blended gender styles’ like he said. It seemed natural. Some guys wore makeup and it looked uncomfortable. Hell, Trent wore makeup on set all day and the stuff still got in his eyes and bothered him. But Ashby just made it seem effortless.

“What?” Ashby asked. Before Trent could answer, he leaned forward and kissed the tip of Trent’s nose, making him laugh. Ashby seemed so much happier. It made Trent’s chest burst with joy.

“Did you know my mom was Arapaho?” Trent said. At Ashby’s blank face, he remembered he was English and might not know the term. “Native American,” Trent supplied. Sure enough, Ashby made an ‘ohh’ sound and nodded. “We didn’t always talk much about it. But she said something cool once that I committed to memory for Joey.” Trent frowned and racked his brains for the right pronunciation. “Her people had – or have – a third gender. They call them haxu’xan. They’re guys who live as women and they marry guys and are respected by the tribe.”

Ashby blinked at him. “Seriously?” he said. Trent couldn’t blame him. He knew how much queer people had been persecuted throughout history. Especially trans people.

“I know it’s not exactly like you,” Trent said. “But it’s kind of cool, I think.”

Ashby nodded. “Very,” he said shyly. “Thank you.”

Trent looked around at all the clothes still scattered around the room from where Ashby had obviously emptied out his closet. Fuck, Trent was so glad he caught him before he made any serious plans to leave. It got him thinking though.

“Did you bring any of your more nonbinary-”

“Enby,” Ashby said. Trent frowned. “You know,” Ashby explained, “like as in the letters N-B.”

“Enby,” said Trent, nodding. “It’s cute.”

Ashby gasped in delight. “I know, right?”

Trent chuckled. “Okay, so. Did you bring any of your enby clothes with you?”

Ashby blinked and looked around the carnage. “Well, um, yes,” he said. “It’s just, well…I don’t tend to wear them places I don’t know. Especially if I’m by myself.”

He tried to keep his voice light, but there was a flicker of sadness in his eyes. Trent could only imagine the hurt he’d experienced while looking different. Even violence. Trent would never let anybody touch Ashby while they were together. He knew that for certain.

He was feeling so freed after their talk, though. Like an enormous burden had been lifted. Or better, like he’d had a box full of puzzle pieces and now they had all slotted together the way they were meant to.

He smiled at Ashby and ran his hand up and down his arm. He could feel his desire flickering to life again. “Would you, uh, put something on for me?” he asked. “Something you feel pretty in?”

Ashby looked at him for a moment, his expression slowly turning into complete joy. “Um, okay,” he said, nodding as he slipped out of the bed. “Are you sure?”

Trent grinned. “Absolutely,” he said.

Ashby licked his lips, considering everything that was thrown about the room. Carefully, he began to pick up items one by one, seemingly unaffected that Trent was watching him walk about naked.

“I’ll be right back,” he said once he had everything he apparently wanted, then dashed into the bathroom.

Trent laid back in the bed and touched his fingers to the ‘Bulletproof’ insignia over his heart. Had he really been that hellbent on keeping people away from him? Not the boys from the band. He’d always had love for them. But Trent tried to think of a time he had ever let another friend get particularly close to him, let alone a girlfriend. He’d always kept everyone at arm’s length.

Even his own parents. It had felt good to talk about his mom. He hadn’t told Ashby the whole truth, how she wasn’t here anymore. But they could get to that.

Trent felt he could talk to Ashby about anything. That he would be patient and help Trent find the words. Together, they could tackle anything.

A knock at the door made him jump. “Housekeeping!”

“Come back later,” Trent called back. The door was in direct line of sight of the bed.

The voice cackled through the wood. “Oh, nice try with that accent, Ashby.”

Before Trent could think of what to say, the door swung open to reveal one of the women from the housekeeping staff, judging by her uniform. She was middle-aged with curly brown hair and colorful horn-rimmed glasses. Or so Trent saw before he gasped and yanked the covers over his head.