Souls Unfractured (Hades Hangmen, #3)(72)

The hard muscles on Flame’s chest tensed and flinched then, devastated, he said, “I can’t f*cking do it without the pain. I’m f*cked up and need the pain.” His expression fell, and with large lost eyes, he whispered, “Maddie… how do we do this? I want it so f*cking bad… but I don’t think… FUCK!” Flame’s teeth gritted and his hands fisted the linen sheets.

Inhaling deep, I lifted my hands to lie on his dark bearded cheeks. Flame sighed as in defeat, his broad shoulders sagging. His eyes would not meet mine, his eyes were forever on mine, and his avoidance shattered my heart.

“Flame?” I said softly. “Look at me.” Flame looked up at me through lowered long black lashes, and I said, “We have to do this. We both have to do this to move on. No fear. No demons. Just us. You and Me. Flame and his Maddie.”

“Maddie,” he responded gruffly, almost painfully. “I don’t know… I can’t… the pain, I need it—”

“You have me,” I interrupted, feeling the strength of that statement resonate in my every cell. Flame stilled, watching me with a profound intensity. Boldly, rolling my hips, I said, “We need to make this our first time. We need to make this the first act of love we have ever known. This is the night we lose our innocence, without the pain.” Another tear fell from my eye, and I added, “We have been lonely too long.”

“I don’t know how to do this without pain,” Flame said in a desperate tone.

Pulling his head down, his forehead met mine. “Focus on me. Make me your one thought. Replace the pain with thoughts of my face. My touch… my love…”

Flame’s lips pressed a whisper of a kiss to the side of my mouth. And desperate to see this through, I moved to run a hand down his arm over the scratches I had made. Guilt engulfed me, and I hushed, “Your pain causes me pain. Your distress causes me distress.”

Flame froze, and glancing down at my hand, he said, “I don’t want to cause you pain. I couldn’t f*cking stand causing you pain. Not you.”

Hope filled my heart, and I pushed, “Then try. Try to make love to me without the scratches or the blades… without the hurtful memories of your past. Just… me and you.”

Flame’s eyes closed, his body deathly still, then threading his fingers through mine, he began to move.

And the tears fell.

Flame’s head had tucked into my neck, and at the sound of my gentle sobs, he looked up and, pouring from his eyes, were tears too. My heart broke at the sight of this man becoming so undone.

And then he moved, expelling painful frustrated groans, my name slipping from his lips. Eleven times. “Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie, Maddie…” A sob followed as he gradually built up speed, his hand gripping mine so impossibly tight.

And the tears did not stop. They did not stop as Flame’s groans of pain gave way to groans of pleasure. They increased in tandem with mine, his fullness within me igniting something in my blood, a build-up, a build-up of whispers under my skin, of a light shining behind my eyes.

Flame’s breathing changed, and as he looked down at me, his face wearing an expression of disbelief, my finger stroked along his bearded cheek.

“Maddie!” he growled, his hips rolling faster as his large arms lifted to cage me on the bed, our fingers still entwined. My pulse increased when the sparks in my blood surged with heat. Unable to keep from closing my eyes, a cry came from my lips as a feeling so intense took hold of my body. My back arched, guiding my breasts to brush against Flame’s hard chest. I panicked at the unfamiliar sensation, but all I could feel was Flame—before me, above me… inside me… within me…

Just as my eyes fluttered open, Flame’s large body tensed, and releasing a deafening roar, he jerked within me. Heat filled my body… Flame’s heat.

Just Flame.

No pain.

Flame’s breathing was erratic, arms unsteady as his head tucked in my nape, then raising his head, his glazed eyes snapped into focus as his tears caught in his beard.

It was like I had seen him for the very first time. This man, my Flame, above me, fixing me back together. A sob came from his mouth and he rasped, “Maddie… my Maddie… mine…”

My heart stilled as I stared up at his disbelieving face. Without restraint, or any falsehood in my heart, I confessed, “I love you…”





Chapter Twenty-Three


Flame



Maddie’s hand was on my face as she spoke those words. And I swallowed, shaking my head.

“No,” I replied, my body freezing with fear.

Maddie’s forehead pulled down, and she whispered, “It is true, Flame. I love you. With all of my heart, I am yours. All that I am, you possess.”

I swallowed, but I couldn’t believe her. I wanted to, but his voice was in my head. No one will ever love you, boy. You’re a f*cking retard. No one will ever want you.

My eyes squeezed shut and I rolled off Maddie, groaning when I slipped out of her. I fell to my back and stared at the wooden ceiling.

Flame… I love you…

“No,” I hissed once more as I replayed Maddie’s voice telling me those words. I lifted my arm to cover my eyes, blocking out the world, then I felt Maddie move. I felt her chest press against mine, I felt her firm tits push against my skin. Then her finger was stroking down the length of my arm, and I sighed at how f*cking good her touch could make me feel.