Soulless Devil (Sons of Valentino #3)(37)

“I will never let anything happen to you again. I promise,” he says.

That Russian voice comes back into my head. Next time, I’ll make sure it’s my turn. They’re going to come back for me. I know they will. “You can’t promise that Romeo,” I tell him.

“Yes, I fucking can,” he grits out between clenched teeth.

I nod my head. I don’t want to anger him. I don’t want to upset him. If he believes he can protect me, help me, then I’ll just let him believe that. I know that he can’t always be with me though. Maybe it would be better if I just went home. I could go home and this could all just be over. A bad dream, a nightmare. I can pretend it didn’t really happen.

Except… it did happen. And no matter how hard I try to block it from my memory, I can’t. Every time I close my eyes, I see them. I can still feel their touch on my skin.

Snatching the loofah from Romeo’s hand, I pour more of the soap onto it and viciously scrub at my body. “I can’t get it off. I need to get it off,” I cry as I continue to scrub harder.

Romeo takes hold of my hands again. “Livvy, you’re okay. You’re okay.” He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight to his chest.

I shove him off me. “No, I’m not. It’s not okay, Romeo. I need to get it off me. Why won’t it come off?” I scream.

He takes a step back, lifting his hands in surrender. “I don’t know. Fuck, Livvy, I don’t know. Tell me what to do.”

I shake my head. There isn’t anything he can do. Instead of responding, I squeeze more soap on the loofah and wash my skin again.

“Babe, you’re going to hurt yourself. Stop.” Romeo snatches the loofah from my hands.

“I can’t stop. I need to get clean. I need to wash them off me,” I tell him.

His face hardens, his jaw clenches. “Livvy, you are clean. Listen to me. It’s just you and me here. It’s only my hands touching you,” he says as he runs his palms up and down my arms. “It’s just you and me, Liv.”

“Just you,” I agree, although I can still feel them on me. I try to imagine that it’s just Romeo, that I really am alone with him. I don’t know if I’ll ever be alone again.

“Come on, let’s get you dried off.” Romeo takes hold of my hand and I let him lead me out of the shower, even though all I want to do is stay under the hot water until I’m clean.

Once I’m dried, Romeo passes me a shirt, one of his, and a pair of his sweatpants. I put the clothes on and sit on the bed. “I’m sorry,” I tell him.

He squats down in front of me. “Babe, you have nothing to be sorry about. You haven’t done anything wrong.

“I would understand, you know. If you want me to leave, I get it.”

“I don’t think you do get it, Livvy. You’re not fucking leaving. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.” He leans forward, and I flinch the moment I see his lips heading for my skin. I hate myself for it. I hate the hurt I see in his eyes when he stops mid-movement. “I’m going to get you something to eat.” He stands and heads to the door, before pivoting to face me again. “Do you want me to call anyone, Livvy? Your mom? Sandra?”

I shake my head. “I… I don’t want them to know,” I tell him with tears rolling down my cheeks. He nods and walks out.

I look around the room. I’m safe here. No one can hurt me here. I don’t know why I feel so safe in this room. I don’t understand it. But I am going to lean into that feeling right now. I need it. I crawl up the bed and sit with my back against the headboard, bringing my knees up to my chest, and rest my chin on them. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I just need someone to tell me what to do…

How do I escape this?

When the door opens again, I’m expecting it to be Romeo. It’s not. It’s Luca. My eyes search the room for another exit. There isn’t one.

“Livvy, Romeo wanted me to bring you this.” He places a tray of food on the edge of the bed. “Is there anything I can get you?”

I shake my head. He looks at me for a moment before he turns and walks away. “Luca?” I call out to stop him.

“Yeah?” he asks, turning around.

“Where’s Romeo?”

“Ah, he, uh, he had an errand to run. He’ll be back soon,” he says.

He left me here… alone? He said he wasn’t going anywhere. He said he was going to be here with me?

“I can leave.” I quickly push off the bed and stand, my arms curling against myself. I feel so small.

“The doctor will be here soon to see you, Livvy,” Luca replies.

“I don’t need a doctor. I’m just going to go.”

He pulls a gun out from behind his back, and I freeze. Again. When my fight or flight instincts should be kicking in, I freeze.

“Do you know how to use one of these?” he asks, holding it out to me. My brows furrow. Why is he giving me a gun?

I nod my head. Yes, I know how to shoot. My dad taught me and my sister.

“Take it. Keep it. If anyone who walks in here scares you, then shoot ‘em.” Luca shrugs, like it’s no big deal.

I take the handgun, wondering if I really could do it. If I could shoot someone. “Why do you have a gun, Luca?”