Sometimes Moments (Sometimes Moments, #1)(40)
“Everything. Write it down one day and send it to me. I want to hear about you meeting the love of your life. I want to hear about how you proposed to her. I want to hear where you said ‘I do.’” Peyton stopped and quickly wiped her tears away. She hadn’t thought it would be so hard to talk about his future. “And I want to hear about your firstborn and all the children you have after. I want to hear their names. I want to hear how happy you are with your life.”
God, Peyton, you’re being ridiculous. Cut that shit out!
She looked up at him. His red and swollen lips appeared to tremble before his jaw locked. Callum turned away as his nostrils flared. Whether it was anger or hurt, she didn’t know but the way his eyes flashed in pain didn’t go unmasked. He had fallen silent until he finally faced her.
“And that’s something that you’d want me to send you?” he asked. There was nothing in his voice that suggested he wouldn’t.
“It’s something I’d love.”
“But what if you move houses or something?”
Peyton let out a short laugh. “You’ll find me right here in Daylesford, Callum. Just like you did before.”
“And what about you, Peyton?” he asked.
She swallowed hard and shook her head. “I don’t have one to write. Some stories don’t need one. And I’m afraid this is kind of the end of the line for me. Just the hotel and this town.”
Callum stepped towards her and placed his arms on the railing, trapping her. “There’s more out there than just Daylesford.”
Her heart pounded against her chest, threatening to squeeze through her ribcage. She looked up and nodded. “I know there is. There’s nothing out there for me.”
He tilted his head at her. “How do you know? I’ve seen what’s out there.”
She gave him a fine smile before saying, “Because everything I have left is here. Memories are more important to me than the city. I’m content with my life here.”
Callum exhaled heavily before resting his forehead on hers. “There’s so much more outside of the town’s limit, Peyton. You belong out there, experiencing more than what Daylesford offers you.”
Her heart felt like it was being tugged in different directions simultaneously. She peeked up at him through her lashes, Callum’s grey eyes meeting hers.
“I belong here,” she said.
I always thought I belonged to you. Not this town.
He pulled away and nodded. “Then let’s give Oscar and Marissa a wedding they’ll never forget and get the hotel the recognition it deserves.” Then Callum dropped his hands from the pier, turned, and made his way off it.
“Callum,” she called out as she watched him leave.
He stopped and, without hesitation, faced her. Peyton stood at one end of the pier and Callum at the other, separated by planks of nailed wood.
“Yeah?” he asked, digging his hands into his pants pockets.
“I’m sorry that I kissed you.”
He looked at the ground that met the first plank of the pier before he looked back up at her. “Don’t be, because I’m not. We just can’t let it happen again, Peyton. Want to head back to the hotel and go through those plans?”
She didn’t feel anything. Finally, years of hoping and wishing had finally paid off—Peyton no longer felt. And to her disappointment, it wasn’t as satisfying as she had imagined. Rather, it left her longing for more.
“I can’t wait till we leave this place, Pey. Just wait until we start a life together out there. No matter where we are or where we go, you’ve claimed me. My life makes sense when I’m with you.”
Peyton rolled onto her back as she let memories of him keep her awake. She brought her fingers to her lips, missing the way that he felt against her. It had been a rookie mistake to kiss him, but inside her, something had snapped. She’d hated the way that he’d blamed himself for Jay’s behaviour and her actions. There had been no logic, just the desperate need to take all the self-blame away from him.
“We just can’t let it happen again, Peyton.”
And it couldn’t. It was bad enough that he was back; kissing him made it all the more complicated. He’d said that he could only offer her now and sometimes, nothing close to forever. The tension had been so thick when they’d returned to the hotel; she was almost drowning in it.
Peyton let her hand fall back onto the pillow and kept her eyes on the pendant light as she continued to replay today in her head. A day that made her question what tomorrow would bring. After what had seemed like forever, the tension had started to dissipate. Somehow, they’d found a comfortable moment when they’d discussed the wedding. With some adjustments to her original plan, the dance floor by the lake was feasible. All it needed was redesigning, and Callum offered to do just that. The moment she said, “Okay,” to him, he picked up the design, said he had to leave, and walked out.
The moment the bell rang to signal his departure, Peyton was thankful. She couldn’t take being so close to him, hating the fantasies of what could have been that bubbled up every time she looked at him. She was finally alone to breathe. But each time she thought about them kissing on the pier, she ended up more frustrated than before.
After being left alone with her thoughts, Peyton realised that she didn’t want to hear from him after he left. She didn’t want to hear about how he had found love and found happiness. She didn’t want to hear about how another woman had ended up with the man Peyton had always seen as her happily ever after. But she knew deep down that she wanted to hear about this woman and thank her for making Callum happy. That’s what her heart wanted.