Sometimes Moments (Sometimes Moments, #1)(39)

He opened his mouth to speak, but Peyton let her lips crash into his, stopping anything vocal from escaping him. Her heart stopped and then dipped. And then it did something that surprised her—it expanded in relief.

He kissed her with as much desperation as Peyton gave. This. His lips and just the feel of his hands on her hips bringing her closer had her eyes welling. She tingled all over. The memory of just how much she’d loved the way that he kissed her was like a crash of water against rocks—hard and painful.

Callum groaned and Peyton tangled her fingers in his hair. Something she always loved doing and wanted to do since this morning. He squeezed his fingers into the side of her body, causing Peyton to gasp. Then he automatically stopped, his fingers loosened—to her disappointment—and he pulled back. He looked stunned, and Peyton couldn’t help but feel disheartened by the displeasure on his face.

“You promised me that you wouldn’t let anything like this happen between us, Peyton,” Callum said.

Her hands still cradled his face. She took the opportunity and let her thumbs stroke his cheeks. He shivered under her touch, which was a win for her. It didn’t matter if he didn’t love her. She still had an effect on him.

“I promised that I wouldn’t let you kiss me. I kissed you,” she stated. This was what she had missed. Having him in her arms and in her hands. She knew what the end spelt, and for now, she wouldn’t care.

Callum shuffled backwards once, Peyton still holding his face in her hands as he tugged her towards him. She placed her legs over his laps and straddled him—just like all the times they had spent during their last summer.

His eyes showed her the terrified side of him. Peyton moved her hands and brushed his hair back. Then Callum took a sharp breath and squeezed her hips.

“I can’t offer you forever,” he said, breaking the fantasy she was in.

But she wouldn’t let him see that. Her chest ached, but she ignored the pain. She wanted him. That, she was sure of.

“Then give me now. For as long as you can,” she whispered before letting her fingers trail down the side of his face.

“I can only give you sometimes,” he said.

Peyton gave him a smile. It was all she was going to get. “Then I’ll take your sometimes.”

“And then it’s goodbye,” he said.

Peyton nodded. “Then it’s goodbye to you, Callum Reid.”

Callum pulled her closer to him. “And to you, Peyton Spencer.”

She didn’t reply. Instead, she let her lips slowly make their way to his, sealing what she had already known. That they had just agreed on the end of their story.

We just planned our demise.

The moment his lips met hers, it was an implosion of relief and satisfaction. This was an undeniable want. He was an undeniable want. Unlike before, this was slow and savoured. Callum’s lip guided her to a pattern of open and closed movements. Again and again, it continued, never bordering on too soft or too hard. They found a rhythm and speed in which time became a word and not a force. The same force that would drive them apart soon enough. It was just a matter of when. The thought had Peyton missing a beat in their kiss. But pushing the thought of the inevitable away, she quickly found her way.

Callum wrapped his arms around her lower back and brought her closer. The surprise of his willingness evoked a silent moan, allowing his tongue to find hers. If there were a way to beautifully explore her mouth, then Callum had found it. The gentle stroke of his tongue against hers caused her heart to pound insanely hard. Though years had passed, it was familiar, like he hadn’t forgotten the way they kissed. Each movement and moment of the way his mouth worked her into a frenzy was memorised. Time. It kept looming over her.

“Peyton,” Callum breathed against her, and he slowed their kiss until they mutually stopped. Then he pulled back, brushing her hair away from her face. “Not like this. Please.”

“Like what?” she asked, looking anywhere other than his eyes.

“Like you can change the ending. I can’t give you happily ever after. I can’t give you anything.” He sighed.

Peyton removed her hands from his hair and let them fall in her lap. The need to get off him became desperation. She was ashamed. Her stance and willpower had weakened and she had let her pathetic heart win. Now, it sat uncomfortably behind her ribcage, throbbing and twisting.

“I don’t want a happily ever after, Callum. I need an ending. No spin-offs or sequels. Just a standalone. And maybe someday, I’ll get to hear your epilogue.”

Then she placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed herself up. The stinging of her lips reminded her that she had let desire win. She took a step away from him, leant on the railing, turned her head to the left, and stared at the shimmering water of the lake. She felt his eyes on her, but right now, her mind wasn’t in a good place. She didn’t trust her decision-making abilities at the moment.

Callum, standing up, caught her attention. When her eyes met his, the controlled Callum was before her.

“My epilogue?” he asked.

Peyton nodded. “Yes. A conclusion to all of this. I want to hear it someday.”

He scratched his arm, thinking. Hints of his sleeve tattoo poked out. “What do you want to hear in it?”

She relaxed her body and let the uncomfortable heat spread from her chest to the rest of her body. Then she gave him a tight smile, knowing that what she was about to say came hand-in-hand with their upcoming goodbye.