So Much More(25)

“See you in the morning, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

Rory and Kira are lined up when I release Kai and I repeat the hugs and words with them.

As they walk toward the door, Kira runs back to Faith and gives her a hug. The hug starts a chain reaction in Miranda’s eyes. It’s obvious she hadn’t noticed Faith on the couch until now. Shock is the first emotion that registers given away by the widening of her eyes, which is quickly downgraded to surprise as they narrow, leading to jealousy in the squaring off of her shoulders, and finally, the look she settles on I can only describe as blazing hellfire. She’s seething. “Who are you?” It’s demanding and cutting. She’s trying to intimidate.

Faith isn’t easily intimidated. When the hug has ended, because Kira and Faiths’ hugs are long and neither one of them cuts it short for Miranda’s benefit, Faith stands and walks to the door, a friendly smile in place, and extends her hand. “I’m Faith.”

“Faith is our friend and neighbor,” I explain. “She lives downstairs.” I feel the need to defend Faith and I don’t want her to go at Miranda alone because Miranda will eat her alive given the chance.

Miranda flicks her gaze at the offer of greeting but refuses the handshake. With a roll of her eyes, she looks to my kids instead. “Let’s go,” she commands.

The kids file out the door behind her and down the stairs.

When they’re all in the car and it drives down the street and out of sight Faith looks at me. “Seamus?”

“Yeah?” The air in the room feels corrupted, brought down by Miranda’s attitude.

Her mouth twists to the side as if she’s debating what she’s about to say. “She’s kind of a bitch,” she finally says, apologetically.

My mouth quirks up in a semi smile as I nod. “No kind of about it.”

An incoming text alert comes from my pocket. It’s a few notes from the Darth Vader theme song.

Faith raises her eyebrows in question.

“Miranda,” I answer.

She smiles and nods in agreement at my dark, evil choice of alert.

The text reads, Are you f*cking her?

I laugh. Out loud. Longer and harder than I’ve laughed in a long time.

Faith is smiling at me.

“What?” I ask.

“You have a great laugh, Seamus. You should unleash it more often.”

I’m still smiling though the laughter has faded. “She’s delusional.” I turn the screen on my cell to face Faith, so she can read it and be included since she’s the subject matter of Miranda’s jealous accusation.

I shouldn’t have done that.

I shouldn’t have shared.

That much is glaringly obvious by the look of devastation and humiliation on Faith’s face.

Her eyes drop from the phone to the floor for a few seconds before they meet my eyes. She steps through the open door onto the W…E mat before she speaks. “Funny.” It sounds anything but funny. “I gotta go. See you later, Seamus.”

She’s down the stairs before I can catch up to ask what’s just happened. “Faith!” I yell.

It’s met with a door opening and closing below me.

I walk out and sit down on the top stair contemplating my next move.

Miranda is jealous because she thinks I’m sleeping with Faith.

I found Miranda’s jealousy funny. Not because of the subject matter, but the idea of her being jealous is asinine because she has no right.

Faith thinks I found the idea of her and I having sex funny and downright crazy.

Jesus Christ. Now I’m staring at the text again feeling like an * for the miscommunication and mix-up. And I’m also zeroing in on the words you f*cking her and thinking quite literally what exactly that means. I’ve never let myself go down this road…fantasizing about Faith. Because Faith is my friend. And because I don’t know how old Faith is, but I know she’s too young for me. And because Faith is beautiful. And because Faith is healthy and energetic. And because Faith deserves more than I could give her.

But now, sitting on these stairs, I close my eyes and let myself go there. Her naked. Me naked. In my bed. God, she’s gorgeous lying beneath me. Her breasts are full and heavy with the weight of desire, cupped in my hands. Her skin so soft to the touch. Our kisses’ intensity and passion matched by the pace we’re keeping. I’m buried inside her, she’s tight, and her hips are meeting each thrust of mine. It’s the rhythm of two partners pleasing each other and themselves at the same time. Sex like I’ve never known it. My name escapes on a sexy moan between kisses. Fuck. It’s coming…coming…coming.

Shit.

I’m about to come.

In my f*cking shorts.

On the steps in front of my apartment.

And I didn’t even touch myself.

Shit.

It’s been too damn long since I’ve been with a woman if a vivid, mental fantasy can bring me this close to the finish.

I was going to walk down and try to talk to Faith, but maybe this is a sign that I just need to go inside and give us some space. An embarrassing sign.





The unwelcome invader invites new obsessions





past





I dive even deeper into work with Seamus’s diagnosis. He makes no changes to his routine and accepts whatever his body dishes out. He struggles, trying to act like nothing’s different. He cares for the boys. He works. I let him.