Sinful Desire (Sinful Nights, #2)(97)

“Hey. Watch it now. I’m still older,” Ryan said.

“Yeah, but you’re not brighter,” Colin said with a wink.

Ryan shot him a look that said maybe he was right. Colin had figured out the hard stuff well before Ryan had.

Michael raised his Corona. “Never let the non-drinker pick beer again, please. Can that just be a rule?”

Colin rolled his eyes and dipped his foot in the water to splash Michael.

Then Michael’s expression turned serious and he cleared his throat. “Listen. We’ve spent enough time talking about her. She had Ryan in her clutches for far too long. Tonight, he’s letting go of all that stuff, so let’s drink a toast to the man we all love and miss.” Michael’s eyes started to water. “To Dad. I still remember how he was when I was learning to drive. He bought me a donut the first time I nailed a three-point turn. Said he was proud of me for that small accomplishment. He was always saying that about the little things we did, and always ready to celebrate with a donut,” Michael said, with admiration in his tone.

The water lolled gently in the pool. Somewhere in the yard, crickets chirped. Shannon went next. “I remember when he taught me to play pool. He was patient and determined. He told me he wanted his only girl to be able to beat all his sons, and he coached me until I was able to.”

“And she does. She schools us all,” Ryan said, with a tip of the cap to his sister.

Colin raised his can. “In middle school, I went to a school dance, and when he picked me up he spotted a hickey on my neck. He was cracking up, and I tried to deny it by making up some ridiculous story that the girl had scratched me accidentally during a dance. He went along with it, even though he said, ‘Someday you might like it.’”

“And now you do, right?” Michael asked.

“Oh yeah. I love hickeys.”

“I remember when he went to work that night,” Ryan began, eyes misting over with the memory. “He told me he was taking some kids to prom, and that someday I’d be the guy taking the girl to prom, and that I should be nice to the driver, because girls like that, and because it was the right thing to do. And then he told me he loved me. That was the last thing he said to me. That he loved me.”

Shannon clasped her hand over her mouth, and a huge sob fell from her throat. She threw her arms around Ryan, and then grabbed her other brothers and pulled them into another group hug. “I remember love,” she whispered in a broken voice. “Most of all, I remember love.”

“Me, too,” Ryan said, and they all chimed in and echoed with another, “Me, too.”

*

Later, after they cleaned up and headed inside, Ryan nudged Colin with his elbow. “Hey, what was the deal with that woman at the benefit last night? Is there something going on with you two?”

Colin shrugged as they gathered bottles into a paper shopping bag for recycling. “She’s hot and she’s cold. Who knows with women?”

Hot and cold. Some women were like that. But some weren’t. Some were always hot. And he didn’t just mean physically. Some were always clear, always present, always giving. Some put their heart on the line every day, every night. Every second.

Sophie.

His Sophie.

His loving, giving, supportive, beautiful, amazing Sophie.

Who was leaving the country for more than a week come morning.

He’d told her twenty-four hours ago that he had to see her that night no matter what. That he couldn’t stay away from her. And instead, he’d done the opposite. He’d stayed away from her. He’d told her he was f*cked up again, and hell, he felt that way.

But that wasn’t fair to her.

Especially when she was always fair. Always open. Always honest.

But him?

He was the hot and cold one. He was scalding and freezing. As he carried the bag of bottles to his recycling bin in the garage, he muttered a string of curse words. He’d been sending her mixed messages. Telling her he had to see her, then telling her he couldn’t handle seeing her. Saying he desperately needed her, then not taking the time to properly say goodbye before she left the country for a trip.

Fine, there was no rule that said they had to see each other every day.

But this wasn’t about managing a lover’s travel schedule. This was about how he talked to her, how he cared for her, how he tended to her needs. She was so even keeled, so reliable, so f*cking wonderful, and he’d taken advantage of that. He hadn’t been attentive to the woman he loved. Understandable, some might say, given the way his day had gone.

But it wasn’t acceptable to him.

Sophie had given him something he thought he’d never have. He had never trusted in love. He’d always believed love could be gunned down. Then she came into his life, and turned everything he believed about himself upside down.

That was the real change in him.

Not his mother’s confession, but Sophie’s love.

Falling in love with Sophie Winston was the most magical, wonderful, intense experience of his life. When everything around him wobbled, Sophie was the constant.

He shut the top of the recycling bin and glanced at his truck. His buzz had worn off. He needed to see her. To tell her she rocked his world, then tell her again and again and again. The only problem was, it was four-thirty in the morning, and he was pretty damn sure her flight left in a few hours.