Sincerely, The Puck Bunny (Totally Pucked #2)(79)

Years since I’ve seen my father, or been inside the home I grew up in.

I didn’t expect to feel… regret. But I do.

Following behind Mom, she leads us into the den that looks exactly like it did three years ago. The same worn, leather recliner sits in the corner with the same worn and soft spot where my Dad always sits still present.

Except right now, it’s empty. And that means he probably left because I was coming.

That’s okay. I didn’t come here to try and repair anything with my father. I’m here for my mom alone.

Maddison and I sit together on the love seat, opposite my mom, who looks like she might actually faint.

“Take a breath, Mom,” I tell her quietly.

Her eyes dart down to Olive, who’s still sleeping in her seat. She had a tummy ache last night, keeping us both up most of the night, so the nap is much needed and it gives us time to talk.

I reach out and pick up Maddison’s hand, lacing my fingers with hers before taking a deep breath.

“Olive is your granddaughter. Maddison and I just recently moved in together, and… she’s the reason I’m here. Her and Olive.”

“Briggs, how could you hide this from us?” my mother says, emotion written in her strained features. “A daughter? God, Briggs.”

She stands from the couch and paces a small spot in front of the couch, as she runs her hands along her head.

“I just want to be clear, that I don’t owe anything to anyone. My life is my life, and what I choose to do with it has nothing to do with anyone else, Mom.”

Her eyes dart up to meet mine, and I see them steadily fill with tears.

“Look, Mom, I didn’t keep Olive from you to hurt you. After what I went through with the media, after everything with Beau…I knew that I needed to protect my daughter and keep her close to me. That’s all that matters to me now, protecting Olive and making sure that nothing will ever hurt her. That’s my job as her dad.”

Maddison squeezes my hand at the declaration, and it brings me comfort. It’s not always easy to set boundaries, and I love my mom, with all my heart, but I will always put my daughter first, and set boundaries to ensure her safety and happiness are what matter now.

“I want you to be a part of her life. That’s… that’s why I’m here. I just need you to understand that there have to be boundaries… after everything that’s happened.”

Pausing her pacing, she looks up at me, hurt evident in her eyes. “You think that I would… do anything to hurt her? My own granddaughter?”

“No, I don’t think that. People get hurt even when it isn’t anyone’s intention. I just want there to be a clear understanding and to rebuild our relationship, Mom. I want to be able to have trust.”

She shakes her head. “I would never do anything to hurt her.”

I nod. “I know.”

Maddison clears her throat quietly. “Would you… like to hold her?”

“I’d like that. Very much,” Mom responds. She walks over to her carrier and gazes down at Olive, still asleep. “God, she’s just such a tiny little thing. She’s beautiful.”

“That’s all her mama,” I agree.

“I see a lot of you in her too, Briggs. She has your nose.”

Maddison reaches down and gets Olive out of her seat, stroking her cheek as she opens her eyes, sleepily, and gazes up at her with wide green eyes that she definitely did get from her mother.

Once she’s fully awake, Maddison transfers her into my mom’s arms.

“Hi Olive, I’m your grandma, but you can call me, Mimi.” She looks up at Maddison and me. “Is that okay?”

Maddison nods. “Yes. My grandmother is Grams.”

Mom rocks Olive in her arms then brings her fingers to her belly and tickles her gently until she giggles.

“Thank you, both of you, for bringing her to meet me. I want to be a part of her life.”

“And you can be, Mom, I’m just.. I’m not ready to reconcile with Beau, and I don’t want to feel pressured to do so. If I do decide to speak to him, I want it to be on my terms and not like I’m being forced to.”

“I understand.”

The front door slams shut, and seconds later, my father is walking through the living room. In the three years since I’ve seen him, he’s aged. I guess we both have.

In the last three years, I’ve changed. I’m not the same man I was when I walked out those doors, and fuck… I’m proud of it. I walked through hell and have the scars to prove it.

I remember a specific night where I drank probably two fifths of whiskey, was shitfaced out of my mind. I could barely even stand on my own two feet and I picked a fight at a bar.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew even before I did it that I didn’t stand a chance of walking out of there. That’s why I did it. I was so numb to everything, so completely shut down to the world that I wanted to do anything to… feel something. And picking a fight with a dude even bigger than I was and getting my ass kicked? Well, that’s the kind of thing I would feel.

I got arrested that night, spent the entire night in the drunk tank, sobering up. Only when the alcohol wore off, did I really feel. I had a few broken ribs, probably could’ve gotten some stitches, hell, I probably even had a concussion.