Sincerely, The Puck Bunny (Totally Pucked #2)(42)
“I don’t even know where I will put all of this.”
Graham plops down on her couch, and Asher and Hudson sit down next to him, making themselves at home.
I can tell Maddison is seriously overwhelmed and now Olive is starting to get fussy in her arms.
“Hey guys, thanks for helping me get all of this over here. I’ll call you later?”
Reed nods where he’s leaning by the front door.
“But, I didn’t even get to hold her yet!” Graham complains.
“Graham, shut up.”
Maddison’s grinning nervously at the exchange between all of us and I realize that we can be a bit much, especially all at once. I probably should’ve run this by her before I bought half the damn store and delivered it to her apartment.
Shit. I’m already fucking this up and it’s barely been three days.
“I’ll text later.”
They tell Maddison goodbye, and follow Reed out the door, shutting it behind them. Silence settles around us, but I speak.
“Maddison, I’m sorry. I should’ve talked to you first, I just didn’t want to show up empty-handed and then we got there and fuck, there was so much… stuff. I didn’t want to leave anything behind and she needs it and-”
“Briggs.” She speaks softly. “It’s okay. I appreciate this. I appreciate the gesture.”
Thank fuck. My heart hammers against my rib cage.
“I can take it all back, honestly, especially that damn car seat, it’s a pain in the ass.”
She glances over at the box with the car seat. “Holy shit is that a Doona? Briggs, no, you have to take that back. That thing is more than my rent… for like three months.”
"My girl deserves the best, Mads. I read all of the safety guides and it’s rated number one. It has the best rating after several rounds of safety testing as well as the longest durability.”
Shaking her head, she stammers, “But... It’s just so expensive. There’s no way. I can’t.”
Walking closer, I place my hand on her arm. “You can. Listen, I know that you’re independent. I’m in no way trying to bulldoze my way into your life and take over anything. It’s just... I missed so much. I missed seeing Olive grow inside of you, and all of the things I should’ve been here for. It’s all I can do to even attempt to make up for my absence. I want her to have the best, in any way that I can.”
She chews her lip nervously. “I know. I do. We can go through it all. Together. Then we can decide what to return. I don’t even have space for all of these things.”
I nod. “Yes, if that’s what will make you happy, and Olive happy, then yes.”
“Okay, want to hold Olive while I start?”
Gazing at my daughter, adoration blooms inside my chest, tethering itself to my heart for what feels like eternity. “Always. Come here, my baby girl.” I whisper, taking her out of her mother’s arms.
For the first time since walking into Maddison’s apartment, I feel useful, even if my shopping spree doesn’t all stay, I did something that I didn’t totally fuck up. It makes me happy to be able do this for Olive, and for Maddison.
Fifteen
I hit the Backspace key. Again. For what feels like the thousandth time tonight. My ability to draft a regular, nothing out of the ordinary blog post seems to be broken, and honestly?
I think it has everything to do with Briggs. I groan and drop my head onto my laptop on the kitchen table. Glancing at the small clock at the top right of my computer, the time reads three twenty-seven a.m. I’ve been sitting here for two hours, and I have exactly zero words to show for it. After Olive woke up from her midnight feeding, I finally got her back to sleep and managed to sit down at my computer and accomplish… nothing.
Actually, I’d have lots of words if I hadn’t deleted.. Every. Single. One of them.
My brain is officially broken and I have no idea why. Maybe because I’m exhausted and have a newborn, or maybe it’s because Briggs poured his heart out and now something inside of me feels… different. Realization has seeped into my head, and now I’m doubting everything.
Ever since Briggs and I had the conversation about the impact the media had on him during one of the worst times of his life, it’s made me question The Puck Bunny.
Entirely.
If he feels this way, then do others? Have I hurt others unintentionally with who and what I report on?
I started this anonymous sports blog when I was barely twenty, and now it’s been four years, and it’s grown tremendously. Way bigger than I ever imagined, and sometimes it’s hard to believe that it’s grown to this size. I think the last time I checked, I had over a million subscribers. The Puck Bunny started as a place where I could share my love for hockey and for journalism in the same place. Growing up, it was the one sport that Grams constantly had on the tv. Gramps was a hockey fan before he passed away, and then somewhere along the line, I fell in love with it too. It was something I looked forward to, and once I realized that I loved watching the highlights the most, the rest is history.
I realized then that journalism was my calling.
Becoming a journalism major and starting The Puck Bunny felt…right. Writing these posts that are sometimes funny, and focus on the other side of hockey too, not just players and teams’ stats.