Sincerely, The Puck Bunny (Totally Pucked #2)(38)
The sincerity in his voice hits me like a punch to the gut. I can hear the anguish, the hurt, the hope.
Without thinking, I reach out and place my hand on his corded forearm. “Briggs, I don’t hold what happened against you in any way. You didn’t know. It’s obvious that if you had known about Olive, things would have been much different. If you want to be a part of Olive’s life, then I would never stop that from happening. Little girls need their daddies.”
Briggs eyes snap to mine. “Really?”
I nod. “I do. I don't want Olive to grow up without her father, especially not when you want to be a part of her life. It’s not fair to either of you, she’s your daughter and it’s your right as much as it is mine. I honestly don’t know anything about how co-parenting is supposed to go, but I want to try. To work together to raise our daughter. With your hockey schedule… I don’t exactly know how things will work, but all we can do is take things day by day.”
“I’ll be here. Night or day. No matter what you need, I’m here. I’ll make it work however I need to, to be here for her.” Emotion is thick in his voice, and he holds my gaze.
“I... I just, I want things to be about Olive, and only Olive. Strictly co-parenting. After that night, I mean, not that I think about that night all the time but,” my cheeks heat in embarrassment, god I’m stuttering over my words like an adolescent, “I just mean I don’t want to complicate things any more than they already are. Of course the night we were together changed things, it gave us our daughter, but I don’t want to go into this with any romantic notions. I want things to be about Olive.”
Briggs looks like he might speak, but ultimately nods. “I understand, and I respect your decision.”
“Thank you. What about the papers that we signed? Do we have to do something to give her your last name? To reinstate your rights?” I ask. It’s the one question I’ve had since the hospital but with the way everything happened, we weren’t able to discuss it until now. I didn’t even know he fired Conrad till tonight.
“He forged it, Maddison. The fucking dick forged my signature. He forged it all. Those papers were never legal or legitimate.”
Relief floods me, which is also shocking, seeing as how just a few days ago I hated the very ground that he walked on. It’s crazy how in just a few days’ time, everything has changed. Not just with having Olive here with us, but the fact that he’s here.
That we were deceived by his slimeball of an agent.
“That’s good. I think we just... we just take it day by day. I’m new at being a mom, just like you are at being a dad. We learn as we go.”
“I agree. And listen, I need you to know something that’s important to me. I want to keep both Olive and you out of the media. I can’t stand the lack of privacy and putting my entire life on display. I don’t want that for my daughter, or for you. The media, gossip sites, all of that shit… they made my life a living hell when I went through what I did with my brother and...” He clears his throat, and I can see the raw pain in his eyes at the mention of the scandal with his brother and his ex-fiancée. “It’s just something that I don’t want to deal with. Not at all. I never want to relive that and putting Olive first means keeping her out of that. And you too. I honestly had never been as low as I was during that time. I just refuse to let anything happen to you two.”
I swallow thickly, emotion suddenly making it hard to breathe. I never knew how much Briggs truly hated the media, not until now. Not until I could actually see the pain reflecting in his eyes as he speaks about what he’s gone through.
God, Maddison… you played a part in this. You took those headlines and ran with them, not even considering that he could actually be hurt from it. Not knowing the consequences of your actions, when it comes to his life.
I feel so guilty at this moment. For causing any hurt to him, even if I wasn’t aware or didn’t know who he was. I never realized that my headlines could actually be causing him this internal… turmoil or causing more heartache in his life.
“Sorry to drop that on you, but I just wanted to get it out the way and let you know that I’ll be here for you and Olive, no matter what. You’re my first priority.”
I nod, unsure of what else to say. The last thing I should do is bring up who I am, not when he just completely opened up about what he’s gone through, with and because of, the media. What good would that do anyone?
It’s not as if we’re going to be together romantically, no. We just made the decision to strictly co-parent Olive, and all me telling him will do is to open up old wounds and hurt him, and I don’t want to do that. I never wanted to do that.
Telling him will accomplish nothing but rocking an already unstable boat.
* * *
“I’m so sorry, I’m barely holding my eyes open,” I say, trying to shift the conversation because it feels too heavy, and right now, I’m so exhausted and unsure of how to move forward. Birth itself is exhausting, but in the past few days, I’ve barely slept because I couldn’t take my eyes off of Olive. Even now, I’m watching her sleep with the baby monitor, and already ready to get up to check on her. We’re only a wall away but being away from her is hard.
“I can head out, let you guys get some rest?”