Shut Out (Bayard Hockey #1)(11)
He gazes at me, his hand curled around the side of my neck, his beautiful mouth wet from our kisses, eyes heavy-lidded. His eyelashes lower to rest on his cheeks. He pulls in a harsh breath, then slowly lets it out. “I can’t.”
My body stiffens. Somehow, I never thought he would turn me down. He seemed as into the whole making out thing as I was, and his arousal is undeniable. But right, guys get turned on so easily. It’s not me. It’s just…a girl, pressing her boobs against him and throwing herself at him. It’s a physiological response. Seriously, I just learned about that in Human Physiology.
I swallow and step back, and he releases me. His eyes are shadowed, his jaw tight. Mortification scorches me from the inside out until I swear I’m probably glowing red like a traffic light. I am such an idiot.
“Oops,” I try to say in a light tone. “Sorry.” I hold up my hands. “I obviously misread things there.”
“Skylar…”
I scrunch my face into a smile. “Hey, no worries.” I lift my chin toward the wide doors leading to the dining room. “You should see if your friends need any help in their beer pong tournament.”
I whirl around and resist the urge to bolt right out of the house. Instead, I saunter across the kitchen, plucking another bottle from the cooler, hoping I don’t appear rejected and pathetic to everyone else in the kitchen. I head to the living room, seeking out Ella, Natalie, and Brooklyn. There they are, dancing. That’s what I need. I need to dance.
They welcome me with hip bumps and smiles, and as I move to the music I try to ignore the humiliation burning inside me.
Chapter 5
Jacob
I walk into the South Quad Academic Complex for my first training session at SAPAP Monday evening. I’ve had two classes today and an intense workout and practice session, and I have homework, so this is the last place I want to be. I’m still not sure what to expect from this training. I’ve read the info online about the pilot program. I get it. But it seems like overkill to me. Is something like this really necessary? Not all guys are * misogynists.
I’m pretty sure I can’t even spell that word.
I love women. I respect women. I would never hurt a woman. Why the f*ck am I here?
Right, right, everyone has to be here. I heave a sigh as I walk into the office that houses SAPAP, summoning my most charming smile. A girl standing at a printer glances up at me and smiles. “Hi. Can I help you?”
“I’m here for the new student training.”
She’s cute, with shiny brown hair and a nice rack.
“Oh, come on in, then, I’ll show you where the training room is.” She leads me down a hall and we enter a large, gray-carpeted room, tables and chairs arranged to face a projection screen at one end. It appears this room can be divided up into smaller meeting rooms, or with the partitions pushed back, opened into this huge space. There are already a bunch of people there and I spot one of my teammates, Dan Churchill, who’s a freshman. I head his way. “Hey, Danny. How’s it going?”
“Good.” He gives me a friendly smile. As a rookie, he doesn’t have the same animosity some of the other guys have toward me.
More people are coming in, so we grab chairs at a table at the back of the room.
An older woman—and by “older” I mean about thirty—who is smokin’ hot, moves to the front of the room. “Okay, it’s a little after eleven already, so let’s get started. Welcome everyone. I’m Victoria Meyer, director of SAPAP.”
She makes eye contact with a bunch of people, even me, sitting as far at the back as possible.
“Our goals are to educate the Bayard College community about sexual assault, intimate-partner violence, sexual harassment, and stalking, and to raise awareness and promote a non-violent campus community. We work with various campus organizations and community agencies on a number of different strategies. Last year, the college administration asked us to develop a program that would be part of the orientation for all freshman and transfer students at Bayard, and we’re very pleased to be offering it this year. Welcome to Bayard College and thank you for being a part of our pilot project. Your feedback will be valuable in helping us determine the effectiveness of the training and how we can improve it.”
She continues. “Your training will take place for an hour each evening this week, concluding on Friday.”
I cringe, although I knew this. My schedule’s already crazy with classes, study groups, workouts, team meetings, and practices, and we haven’t even started the hockey season yet.
“We’ll be covering topics such as sexual assault.” She pauses to make more eye contact and let the seriousness of these topics sink in. “Intimate-partner violence. Stalking, sexual harassment, rape culture, healthy relationships, and bystander intervention.”
I shift in my seat and pick at a piece of cuticle that’s loose on my thumb.
“After the training, if you’re interested in being actively involved in the movement to end sexual and intimate-partner violence at Bayard College, and society in general, we have three student volunteer groups: the Men’s Activism Program; our Networking, Publicity, and Activism Program; and a Peer Education Program. As well, there are a variety of opportunities to participate in some of the awareness events and fundraisers we work on throughout the year.”