Shoulda Been a Cowboy (Rough Riders #7)(95)

“That’d totally be cool!”


“Yeah! Or how about some of them knives?” Thane said, adding a slashing motion.


The boys wandered off, debating the merits on the coolest robotic body parts.


Cam frowned. That was the extent of it? That was what he’d worried about? Sort of anticlimactic.


Soft fingertips gently traced the red marks on his stump. Domini said nothing; she just touched him and he felt it clear down to his soul. He mouthed, “I love you,” and she gave him that special serene smile.


Four shadows fell across him. He looked up as Carter, Colby, Cord, and Colt crouched down.


A tense minute passed when no one spoke.


“Sorry about the boys. They were…curious,” Carter said.


“No harm. I can’t say as I blame them. We’da all done the same thing at their ages.”


“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, it sucks ass that this happened to you, bro,” Colt said.


Murmured agreements.


Colby poked the fake leg. “How in the hell you walk on this every day is beyond me.”


“Obviously I didn’t do such a bang up job of walkin’ on it today.”


Another bout of silence.


Cord cleared his throat. “I admire the hell outta you for even tryin’.”


“We all do,” Carter added. “But as long as you’re a captive audience, we ain’t letting you up until we’ve had our say.”


Fucking awesome.


“Since you came back you’ve forced us to see things in a new light in this family. So it’s ironic you can’t see what’s right in front of you,” Carter said.


“Did you think we’d look at you differently just because you’re missing a goddamn leg?” Colby’s eyes bored into him. “Did you honestly f*cking believe that we’d somehow see you as…weak?”


“Yeah, I did. Look at me. I’m sitting in the f*cking skunkweed. I can’t get up by myself. That makes me weak.”


“No, that makes you stupid,” Cord fired back.


“Picking on the cripple, that’s nice, bro.”


Domini didn’t pipe in to defend him. She stayed silent and watchful.


Colby’s arms were crossed over his chest. “I think what Cord—and all of us are sayin’—is we’re goddamned glad you ain’t dead. If anyone is weak in this family, it’s us, because we haven’t kicked your sorry ass before this. We just let you be. Well, that bullshit is over, little bro, I guarantee it. You’re part of this family whether you’re ranchin’ with us or not. Whether you like it or not. So get used to it. We’re gonna be in your face and in your life like we should’ve been all along.”


Cam stared at Colt. Then Cord. Then Colby. Then Carter. His embarrassment at how he’d treated his brothers vanished when he understood how goddamn lucky he was to have them. How he had a chance to make this—another thing that’d gone wrong in his life—right.


“Don’t you have something to say?” Colt prodded.


“You wanna know what sucks worse than ranching?”


“Nothing?” Carter offered.


Chuckles broke out.


“No. It was worse having to face Brandt and tell him about Luke. Losing his brother…I never want to go through that. Ever. Jesus.” Cam stopped, afraid he’d start bawling. Domini’s steady grip on his hand encouraged him to go on. “I never realized how hard it must’ve been on you guys, especially in the beginning, when you didn’t know if I was alive or dead. Then I get back here and I’m not the same guy.”


“Believe it or not, none of us are the same guy since you left when you were eighteen,” Cord said. “You’d know that if you weren’t bein’ such a reclusive *.”


Cam winced. “I deserve that and more. Christ. I’m sorry.”


“We’ve all had our bad moments, that’s for damn sure.” Colt flashed him a challenging grin. “So now that all the touchy-feely crap is over…question is: do you need help up?”


Say no. Scream no.


Cam swallowed his pride and his fear. “Yeah. Since I forgot my crutches, that’d be great.”


“See? That wasn’t so hard.”


His brothers carried him to the porch like it was no big deal. He didn’t point out they should’ve carried him to his damn truck so he could go home.


All of a sudden his brothers took off like their boots were on fire. When a sharp gasp sounded, he knew why: his mother stood behind him.


“So, is it worse than you thought?” he asked brusquely, fighting the temptation to cover his limb.


“No. The worst part was not knowing what it looked like.”


Cam tipped his head back. Tears rolled from the corners of his mother’s eyes. Shit. “Ma. Don’t—”


“Don’t you tell me how to react when I see my boy’s blown-off leg for the first time, don’t even try, Cameron West McKay.”