Shattered (LOST #3)(46)

“You can stop carrying me,” she told him.

Screw that.

He kissed her. Kissed her right there in front of her team and half of the New Orleans Police Department. Her lips were open when his mouth touched hers, giving him the perfect access that he needed. Fear was a living, breathing beast within him, clawing at his guts, and he needed the affirmation that Sarah was safe. She was alive. She was with him.

And she kissed him back. Just as deeply, as passionately. As if she didn’t care who was watching. As if he were the only one who mattered to her.

One day, I will be.

Slowly, his head lifted. He stared at her. There was so much he wanted to say to Sarah right then, but he didn’t have the words. When it mattered, he never seemed to have them.

“I can stand on my own,” she told him.

Yeah, he knew that. She was one of the strongest women he’d ever met. For her to survive the nightmare of her past, she’d had to be strong. Most people would have been shredded on the inside—and out—after living her life. But she’d turned the nightmare into something good. She’d become a profiler to help people.

She even made him want to be more than he fucking was.

Carefully, he lowered Sarah to her feet.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

He wanted to kiss her again. No, he wanted to grab her and run away from that scene. He wanted to take her far away so that she’d always be safe.

But that wasn’t Sarah. He’d already realized she wasn’t the type to hide. Not from anything or anyone. So when the detectives closed in on Sarah, he backed away and let them toss their questions at her.

“How did you know where the vic was being held?” Brent wanted to know.

“Did you see the perp?” Cross demanded in the same instant.

Jax hadn’t seen him. If he had, the guy wouldn’t have walked away.

“Are you okay?” the soft, feminine voice came from his right. His head turned and he saw Emma Castille staring up at him. Worry was stamped on her pretty features. “When you didn’t come out with the cops, I was scared.”

Ah, Emma. Despite what a bastard he’d been in their shared past, she still cared for him. That was one of Emma’s weaknesses . . . her soft heart. He’d always tried to protect her so that others wouldn’t use that weakness against her.

Now Dean Bannon was the one guarding her. With all the ferocity of a lion.

“I couldn’t leave Sarah,” Jax said simply.

Her eyes widened. Once, he’d nearly gotten lost in Emma’s bright eyes. But Emma had been afraid of him. She’d always pulled away from his darkness.

Sarah . . .

Sarah accepts me.

And when he looked into Sarah’s eyes . . . I am fucking lost.

“Since when did you start playing the hero?” Emma’s voice was so low that only he could hear it. “What’s your angle, Jax?”

Ah, right. He was always supposed to have an angle. After all, he had a rep to maintain. His gaze slid back to Sarah. “I’m working things out.” That was the truth. Mostly. He really didn’t like to lie to Emma. She was one of his few friends, even if he knew that she sometimes wished he’d vanish from New Orleans.

An ambulance rushed away from the scene. He tensed. That was Molly—being taken to the hospital. He looked down and realized that her blood stained his clothes and his hands.

“Is she going to make it?” Emma asked softly.

His hands fisted. “She’s young. Had her whole life ahead of her.”

“Jax?”

“She was bad, Em. Real bad.”

He took a step away from her. He needed to call Carlos and he also needed to let his lawyer know where the guy could pick up his car.

Because I’m not leaving this scene. Not without Sarah.

“Dean told me. About your past. Your family.”

He looked back at her.

Pain flashed in Emma’s eyes. “All this time . . . why didn’t you come to me first? You know I would have convinced LOST to take your case.”

He searched her stare. And there it was. Pity. He walked back to her. Smiled down at her. “Because I have been many things to you, Emma Castille, but I have never been a man you pitied.”

Her breath caught. “No, Jax—”

“I just want to know who my mother was. My father. And why the hell I never mattered enough for them to find me.”

Emma’s hand curled around his arm. “You matter.”

He backed away from her. “So do you, Em.” And he was glad, so very glad, that she’d found her partner in Dean. Sure, the guy was a straight-A prick in that follow-the-rules, law-abiding way, but Dean had already proved that he would lay down his life—in an instant—for Emma.

Love could make a man do some stupid shit.

He looked over at Sarah. She was still between the two detectives, but her gaze was on Jax. She looked tired. Ash coated her cheek, and, like him, Molly’s blood stained her clothes and hands.

“It was a near thing,” Emma said from behind him. “I saw the fire raging. Then you rushed out, carrying Sarah with you.”

Leaving her hadn’t been an option. Either Sarah had come out of that blaze . . .

Or I would have stayed with her.

That unsettling thought had him stiffening.