Shattered Dreams (Boys of Bellerose, #3)(11)

My low chuckle filled the room. “I’m not sure what you did to me, but I just kept waiting to hear your story from you. I didn’t want to see facts and figures on a page, all black and white and cold. That’s not you, little hedgehog. You’re warmth and light and so much more than I could ever learn from research.”

A small sob escaped her, and I wanted to punch myself in the face for making her cry. But then she wrapped her arms tighter around me, pulling into my body as if she couldn’t be close enough. My dick responded, as was to be expected, but so did my fucking heart. It squeezed in my chest, and I had a feeling that I was done for.

This was it for me.

There was never another who could wind themselves around me like this and make me never want to let go.

“The day I was almost shot by Ricci thugs,” Billie murmured against my chest, “was the actual best day of my life. Who knew something so terrible could lead to something so wonderful.”

That wasn’t my experience in life, but now was not the time for my fucked up story. I wanted hers.

“I dream about the fire that killed my parents and almost me,” she said suddenly. The relaxed calm of her body vanished as the tension of the past held her tight. “I was sixteen, and I’d just had my eighteen-week ultrasound to confirm I was carrying a little girl. I didn’t remember this until these flashbacks started, but that day, when I walked into the house, my parents were fighting. It’s weird that I didn’t remember, but somehow the trauma of that day was blocked out. At least it had been until now.”

Her voice wavered as she spoke, and I just held her as tightly as I could without crushing her. My strength was an asset, but I had to be aware of it in circumstances like this.

She tried to start again, but her voice broke harder, and she was crying once more. “Th-that ni—” Sobs shook her entire body, and I was desperate to kill whatever was hurting her. Only I couldn’t.

“Shhhh, baby.” I rocked her back and forth. “You don’t need to tell me now. I’ve waited this long for your story, and I will continue to wait until you're ready. With the nightmare fresh in your mind, it’s just too raw. We have the rest of our lives to learn about each other.”

Her sobs slowed, and she lifted her head once more. Before I could figure out her next move, she pushed herself forward, her lips landing on mine. A low groan filled my throat, and I tried to let her control the momentum of the kiss, but just tasting her had my control shot to shit.

Fuck.

I’d never expected this. I’d never expected that any woman would hold me so enthralled, to the point that the thought of touching another chick had my dick wanting to shrivel up and fall off.

“Gray,” she moaned against my mouth, and that was when my thinly held control snapped. I demanded entrance, my tongue sliding against hers, and she opened for me without hesitation. She was so responsive, taking everything, even when I was rougher than I’d like to be.

She rocked against me, lifting one leg so it was resting over my hips, and I was starting to see that my little Prickles was into my dominance. Fucking hell.

Cupping her face, I devoured every part of her mouth, exploring it like I owned her.

Maybe I did, because she sure as fuck owned me.

“Gray, please,” she said again, breathy and clearly on the edge of moaning once more. If that happened, I’d take that offer and fuck her worries away. But that wasn’t how we needed to deal with her nightmares and PTSD. I’d been there, and it would just be hiding from it again.

With that in mind, I pulled back from her, hating every fucking second our mouths weren’t touching. Every second I wasn’t tasting her.

“As much as I want to strip you bare and spend the next few hours making you scream my name,” I said, still wanting to punch myself in the face. “You’re in the midst of trauma. You’re exhausted, healing, and I think what you need now is comfort and sleep.”

A strangled laugh spilled from her perfect lips. “An orgasm would really help with that.”

I joined her laughter. “I know, baby. And I can give you that, but when we fuck… make love… whatever you want to call it, I want every part of your brain. Every part of you. I’m happy to be your distraction when needed, but for our first time, I need all of you.”

I was a demanding, selfish bastard like that.

“You have all of me,” she whispered, resting her head against my chest. She yawned a second later, and I knew my instincts about how exhausted she was were right. “Or as much as I can share when Rhett has some of me too.”

That part was different. It wasn’t like I was happy about sharing her with Rhett, but if there was anyone in the world I would share Billie with, it was my bandmate and brother. “Still fairly confident that you’re going to pick me,” I teased.

She didn’t laugh with me, and I wondered if that was a genuine worry of hers: that I was going to make her pick. Dropping my head to the pillow, I wrapped her up tighter, and she shifted to lie across my chest. “I was just teasing,” I told her, loving the feel of her against me. “You don’t have to choose. We’re figuring out this sharing thing okay for the moment, and there’s no reason to end whatever is happening between all of us. It might not be conventional, but it’s working, and that’s all that fucking matters to me.”