Shameless(82)

52





Brady





It’s hard to hold a baby and still be pissed, but I still can’t quite shake the tension from tonight.

Slamming the front door woke Izzy, so I’ve been trying to get her back to bed for the last hour even though I really need to talk to Kat.

Izzy shoves her pudgy hand into my eye as she nuzzles closer. My lips quirk up. This girl loves to snuggle. Maybe it’s because of everything she’s lost, but if she could sleep all night in my arms, she probably would.

I tuck the blanket around her little body and resume rocking and patting her rear.

I’m going crazy not being able to talk to Kat right now. I heard bits and pieces of that conversation. Like the part where she yelled she’d rather slum it with me.

I know what she was trying to say, but that still stung.

The front window was cracked open, and I could hear them yelling from the kitchen. I almost walked out there several times to make sure she was okay, but I get needing closure. At least… that’s what I initially thought that conversation was about. Now, I’m not so sure.

My thoughts wander to what she said last weekend, when she asked if we were too different. If we were setting ourselves up for trouble.

Knowing now what she’s giving up, I feel like shit. Not that I care about that douchebag. I mean the job offer, the real job she’s giving up to stay here with me.

If my ongoing argument with Cal taught me anything, it’s that making sacrifices has its consequences. Sometimes it makes you resentful. And the last thing I want is for Kat to resent me down the road for hindering her career. Not that she’s that kind of person, but neither was I before I got saddled with my parents’ languishing company. I’m not proud of that, but now that I’ve had some time away from Boston, I realize that’s what I was feeling.

Every awful scenario runs through my head as I sit here in the dark.

It would kill me for Kat to hang around here until I’m hopelessly in love with her and then go back to that dickhead.

I’ve already had my heart broken once when Dani decided she’d rather date a guy who treated her like shit. What is it with girls who like to date *s? Not that Kat is one of them. I mean, f*ck, I hope not.

Valedictorian. Of course she was a brilliant student. I can see that now. How she marketed the hell out of our little farmers’ event. How she rebranded all of our products. How she’s amazing with people.

Our products.

I rub the back of my neck. Yeah, ours. I may own this farm, technically, but the soaps, the lotions—all of that stuff—that’s her baby. Her inspiration. It was her drive that got Melissa to start that side business.

I’m kicking myself for shutting down that conversation last weekend when she brought up her ex. At least I could’ve been a little more prepared for what went down tonight.

Was she really pregnant last May?

My gut aches when I think about that douche putting his hands on her. Touching her. Loving her. I should have f*cked him up.

I close my eyes and rock the baby a little faster, needing to clear my mind. But it’s hard. Especially when I got that offer on the farm this morning. My realtor said a company out of Dallas was looking to get into lavender and thought the farm would make a great addition to their land holdings. Now that I realize how precarious things are with Kat, I think I should consider it.

My first reaction was to turn down the offer. Crazy, right? Doesn’t make sense.

But right now, nothing in my life makes sense.





53





Katherine





The longer Brady’s in the nursery, the harder it is to keep my emotions in check. It’s almost midnight when I give up waiting for him and head into my bedroom. I change into a t-shirt and shorts and crawl into bed. Alone.

He’s either really mad at me for all of the horrible things Eric said or he’s planning to drop the bomb that he’s leaving.

God, did he overhear me talking about being pregnant? And now he thinks I’m some girl who just jumps from one bed to another.

But if he heard that, does he know Eric is behind the offer on the farm?

A sinking feeling overwhelms me. Because worse than all of that is the thought that maybe he doesn’t care enough to be upset by any of this.

Especially if he’s leaving.

I’m blinking back the sting in my eyes when when the nursery door finally opens. I can’t let Brady see me like this. Quickly, I take a deep breath and roll over to face the wall.

Whatever he does, whatever he chooses, shouldn’t be because I’m some emotional basket case, and if we talk now, I don't know if I'll be able to keep my emotions in check. But no matter what, I won’t manipulate him with tears. He’s a good man. I don’t want him to feel like he owes me anything. He already looks after his parents and Izzy. I won’t be another burden for him.

A soft knock on my door makes my heart hammer.

“Kat, you awake?”

The door creaks open, and I pull up the blanket. “Yeah.” I assume he’s gonna come sit by me, but he doesn’t. Just stands in the doorway.

That dread builds in my chest. He must be leaving. That’s why he’s keeping his distance. I take a deep breath and force my voice to sound even. “Think we can talk in the morning?”