Shameless(61)

“What about George?” I laugh.

“Eh.” She waves her hand. “Technicalities.”

All of the waitresses stop by the table to hold Izzy, but I know Brady is part of the lure. He’s almost too handsome to escape the attention.

When I swing by with a fresh cup of coffee, that dimple peeks out, and he gives me one of those dangerous smiles that makes my heart race.

The word that comes to mind is lovesick. Like, if I could forego food and just wrap myself in Brady Shepherd, I totally would.

God, help me.

Because I have never in my life felt like this. Never wanted to throw caution to the wind to see what happens. But Brady makes me want to put everything on the line. Even my heart.

I try to focus on my tables, but I’m having a hard time concentrating. Finally, I give up and pour myself a cold glass of water to regroup.

“You guys bumping nasties?” someone whispers over my shoulder.

I nearly drop my drink. “What?” I whirl around to see my smirking co-worker Jaycee.

“You don’t have to answer that. I can tell by your expression that you know that man in a Biblical sense, and I am completely green with envy.”

Jaycee is my favorite person to work with. She grabs a few shifts a week whenever her college schedule allows it.

A nervous laugh escapes me. “I’m that obvious?”

She shakes her head. “I’d be concerned if you weren’t having naked playtimes with that hottie.” She sighs, and we both turn to stare at Brady who’s doing a little food airplane into Izzy’s mouth.

“Is everyone talking about us?” I whisper, almost afraid of the answer. But this is a small town where gossip reigns supreme.

She shrugs. “People know you two have been through a lot. Let me put it this way. I don’t think anyone is surprised you two are an item.”

When Carol rings up my order, I start to reach for the food when Jaycee motions toward Brady. “I don’t mean to be a Nervous Nellie, but are you gonna be okay when he leaves?”

I freeze, mid-motion. She nods toward his table. “He’s moving back to Boston, right? I mean, I assumed when I heard the farm was for sale.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat requires a Herculean effort. “Yes.” He may not realize it, but as soon as he started talking to that realtor, word about the farm spread like wildfire.

Jaycee frowns before she gives me a sad smile and squeezes my hand. “Then you and I will have a date with some Bacardi.”





38





Brady





The early evening sun makes the horizon glow as we drive home from Kat’s shift at the diner.

I study the rolling hills and the contrast of shadow against the dimming light. It’s beautiful here. Lush and tranquil. I finally understand why you’d want a hammock in the backyard or a swing on the porch. There’s something about the cedar in the air that makes you want to sit back and breathe. Or draw.

In fact, my fingers are itching to pick up my sketch pad at home. I’m about to mention this when we cross over the creek, and I steal a glance at Kat.

Those big hazel eyes are pinch closed as she tilts her head forward to rest against the window.

I reach over and grab her hand.

“Wanna talk about it?” I ask softly when I pull the truck into the driveway a few minutes later. I know it has something to do with my brother’s accident. She got that same anguished expression when we first toured the property a few weeks ago.

She turns to me, her eyes haunted. “Not really.”

I want to prod, but I don’t. She looks traumatized by the memory of what happened.

Guilt washes over me. Here I’ve been banging the hell out of Kat, using her to forget about everything else.

That sounds so epically f*cked up.

The truth is I really like her, and I know the attraction is mutual, so I don’t feel like a total * for trying to lose myself in sex.

But a part of me knows I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve the comfort of this beautiful woman. I don’t deserve to wake up in her arms or kiss her lips or taste her skin. Why should I find solace amid my brother’s suffering?

We unload the groceries in silence as Izzy chatters contentedly.

Tonight I have to work on a few estimates for Jose, but I feel bad not being there for Kat when she’s obviously still upset. But I blew this off all day, and now I need to get it done. I stare at the laptop, wishing I could push it off until morning and go curl up with Kat. I need to take advantage of our time together before I start working at the tattoo parlor in a few days.

I got the job with one phone call and a quick visit to the shop, which surprised me, but my old job gave me a great reference. Although I definitely could use the money, I’m not looking forward to leaving Kat and the baby alone at night.

Kat says she’s tired, kisses me on the cheek as I work in the office, and heads off to bed. I’m tempted to grab her and hug her and tell her everything will be all right, but I know that’s not true. Because soon, I won’t be here for her, and that’s killing me.

It’s almost midnight when I finally email the last estimate. I’m about to turn off the lights and take a quick shower when her scream pierces the silence.

My heart is pounding when I round the hallway and burst into her bedroom. She’s sitting up in bed, sobbing.