Shameless(56)

After dinner, he swabs her little face with a warm washcloth and starts loading the dishes into the dishwasher.

“I can do that,” I offer as I sip my coffee.

“Nah, I got it.” When he finishes with the last dish, he heads down the hall where I hear him run the water in the tub. A few minutes later, he strides in, scoops up the baby and leans her over to me. “Give your hot Aunt Kat kisses so we can get you ready for bed.”

I chuckle as Izzy slobbers on my cheek.

“You want some help with her bath?”

“Nope. I think I can handle it.”

I’m smiling up at him like a big fool when he leans down and kisses me. Aside from that quick PDA at Hank’s nursery, Brady has been pretty hands-off all day. I haven’t known what to think. Whether we’re done or if we’re headed for another dirty sleepover.

This kiss, though, this kiss blooms the seed in my chest, the one that I’ve been trying to stamp out—the seed of hope.

Of hope for more than just one night. For more than a sexy fling. For more than something casual and meaningless.

Even though that’s what I promised him.

Brilliant, Katherine. Really freaking brilliant. Summa cum laude and this is where you end up.

He saunters off with the baby, and my smile fades as the truth settles in.

My heart skitters around in my chest as I tell myself not to hold out hope. Sex between friends. That’s what this is. I’ll never be his girlfriend. We’ll never be more.

It’s what you promised him, dimwit.

I crumple my napkin, my heart already protesting our arrangement.

The irony couldn’t be any more glaring. My ex pushed for us to be more, to speed things up, and I bucked every step of the way. I didn’t want to move too fast. Didn’t want to rush things. But with Brady, I feel sucked in, like he’s the tidal wave, and I’m the sand.

I should look on the bright side—he stayed in my bed last night. I fully expected him to bolt. Isn’t that what guys do after sex? But Brady is a good guy and held me tightly after. I haven’t slept that well since before Mel and Cal died.

Trudging to my room, I feel a heaviness settle in my stomach as I hear him playing with Izzy in the tub.

Some day soon, this will end. Brady is taking Izzy to Boston. Get used to the idea. Don’t get attached.

I don’t bother to turn on the lights as I strip out of my jeans and slide off my bra and collapse in bed. I can’t bring myself to see if Brady wants to hang out tonight or to debate what it means if he doesn’t. Vowing to get my shit together and start looking for a job tomorrow, I pull the covers over me and curl up against my pillow.

My eyes flutter closed. In the background, the baby monitor hums the quiet sounds of Izzy getting tucked in.

I’m going to miss this. Being here. Playing with the baby and seeing Brady every morning as we wait for the coffee to percolate. Having them both all to myself.

Finally, I start to drift off despite the raw restlessness that aches in my bones.

The creak of the door breaks through my dreamless sleep.

“Hey,” Brady whispers. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were going to sleep. Are you okay?”

I automatically reach for him, and he scoots me over and tugs me to his chest where I snuggle against him. He’s cozy and warm, his heat radiating through his t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Hmm.” I don’t want to tell him more. I don’t want to voice my fears.

His hand runs up and down my back, and I shiver closer.

“You cold, baby?”

I nod, and he pulls the blankets higher. We’re resting chest to chest, and he’s hard against my thigh.

“Did you come in for a booty call?” I murmur sleepily.

He chuckles. “No, not really. But my dick has a mind of its own when you’re around.” He strokes my hair, and I’m so relaxed, I could purr. “I actually just wanted to see if you’d like to hang out and watch The Walking Dead, but you’re all sleepy and warm and sexy as f*ck.”

I laugh and snuggle closer, tossing my leg over his muscular thigh. “Mmm. That actually sounds really good. I love zombies.”

We might have just agreed to watch TV, but neither of us attempts to get up.

His hand travels under the back of my shirt and my skin tingles under his warm touch. We’re just lying here against each other, but already I can feel every cell in my body awaken.

I arch my hips, needing friction for the sudden throb between my legs. He does that. Makes me ache. Getting the hint, he grabs my hips and pulls me fully on top of him where I stretch out like a lazy cat.

My hands dip under his t-shirt to glide over his smooth muscles. I lean down and run my nose along his neck. He smells like soap and warm man.

Reaching up, he pulls out my ponytail, and my hair cascades around us. He’s watching me, his dark green eyes hooded, his lips slightly parted.

I don’t know where my bravado comes from, but I have to ask… “Did you think about me today, about this?” It’s a shameless question but an easy one to ask in the dark.

“Only every f*cking minute.” He threads his fingers through my hair and pulls me close so his lips brush against my ear, giving me chills. “I can’t stop thinking about you riding me,” he whispers as I press my weight down on his erection. “All day. Half thought about pulling the truck over behind Hank’s nursery to test out the suspension.”