Seeds of Iniquity (In the Company of Killers, #4)(72)

“Oh, so that’s what this is about,” I say icily. “You think I can’t keep myself from being raped”—I look him straight in the eyes, unblinking—“trust me, I could.”

“Nora will be going on the mission,” he says as if that’s the end of it.

Gritting my teeth, I take a deep breath and get up from the chair. “She can’t go in there wired,” I point out. “She can’t take a camera. She won’t have access to a phone. I don’t doubt her skills, but if she’s going to be one of the girls and make it believable, she can’t be sneaking off to contact us—they’ll know within minutes that she’s missing.” I look at her once and say, “How are you going to be the one to figure out who Vonnegut is if I’m the one who’s supposedly seen him?” I cross my arms and stare intently, my eyes darting to and from Nora and Victor.

“We will figure it out,” Victor says. “We have several months to come up with a plan.”

I shake my head, my mouth turning up on one side.

“Victor, I’m not stupid to believe you don’t already know the one sure-fire way to figure out who Vonnegut is.”

He looks at me, waiting.

“Through me,” I go on. “The second Vonnegut sees me, I’ll know it’s him because the realization of who he’s looking at will flash over his eyes in that instant. And I would see it. Vonnegut is well aware of what I look like.”

“Yes,” Victor says, “that is the best way to find out who he is, but we’ll find another way. You’re not going into that compound.”

“It is the only way.”

“Others have seen you,” he reminds me, growing irritated.

“But Javier and Izel are dead. Luis and Diego are dead and they’re the only other brothers of Javier that I’ve seen. Whoever’s running the place now I doubt knows who I am.”

“We can’t take that risk.”

“I agree,” James says. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Victor—”

“Izabel!”—he raises his back from the chair—“I’m not letting you go back in there!”—he takes a deep breath and calms himself—“I’m not risking you in that place—Nora, I’ll risk.” His cruel words don’t faze her one bit; she doesn’t care about such things. “You want to do missions alone and that’s enough of a risk, no matter how good you get, but sending you into a place where people might remember you and who will kill you on the spot the second they realize who you are—it’s not a risk I’m willing to take.”

I glance at the wall, disappointed and angry, but touched by his feelings and I can’t bring myself to just discard them as if they’re nothing.

“I’m sorry,” I say softly and Victor reaches out his hand to me. He never shows affection toward me during meetings, so the gesture takes me aback.

I walk over and take his hand. He pulls me to stand next to him. He kisses the top of my fingers. “We’ll figure out a way,” he says gently, “but Nora will be the one on the inside.”

I nod with reluctance.

How long will you allow yourself to cut corners for me, Victor?

“I’ll teach Nora everything she needs to know,” I say looking back at her.

Then I take my seat again.

“You’re key to making this work,” Victor says.

How long will you take the alternate route just to keep me out of harm’s way?

“I’ll do whatever I have to do to help bring this tyrant down,” I add.

How long…?

And I will do whatever Victor asks of me, but a large part of me wants to be the one on the inside. Not because I feel the need to prove myself. Not because he’s letting Nora go instead of me and I feel any sense of jealousy—this has nothing to do with jealousy, or reckless determination; I want to be the one because I spent nine years of my life in Mexico among these men and I feel that if any mission should be mine, it’s this one.

“In the meantime,” Victor announces, “with Niklas’ absence, and considering the changes made in this Order, Nora will be your new partner.”

I nod with acceptance.

“And I’ll continue to train you while I work with you,” Nora says.

“The two of you will go on several missions together before the mission in Mexico,” Victor says. “You will focus on your current missions for now, but be preparing for Mexico just the same.”

Quiet falls over the room as each of us think about the road ahead.

“And what about Niklas?” I ask, determined not to let him be forgotten. “Are we planning all of these missions without him?”

“For now, yes,” Victor says. “Until things between my brother and me have been resolved, it’s best to assume he won’t be part of any missions.”

I nod in agreement.

The five of us spend the next thirty minutes discussing the details of our future missions, including getting an early start on Mexico. It’s very strange sitting at this table without Dorian and Niklas. And with Nora, instead. I miss Dorian’s sarcasm and ridiculous comments about women that should rub me the wrong way but never do. And I miss my fights with Niklas and his cold stares and the stink of his cigarettes lingering on his jacket.