Seeds of Iniquity (In the Company of Killers, #4)(67)

“What makes you think he can’t?” Tears sting the backs of my eyes, but I don’t let them fall.

Nora turns her head to look at me again.

“Because he’s just like me,” she says not with malice, but with truth. “And one way or another, he’ll instinctively do whatever it takes to restore the balance to the only life he’s ever known.”

I shake my head repeatedly, not wanting to believe her, wanting to go ahead and shoot her just for saying these things to me. But I can’t. Not yet.

A hard knot moves down the center of my throat.

“But you loved Claire,” I point out, grasping for anything I can that might turn the truth on its head. “You would’ve done anything for her.”

“Yes,” she admits, “I would have…and that’s why every day she was alive I contemplated killing her.”

My heart stops beating as if she’d just pulled the plug from me.

“I loved my sister so much,” she begins, “that I knew I couldn’t leave her alive because I’d always worry about her and it was making me weak.”

“You were going to kill her?” I can hardly believe this, but then again I can. “You were going to kill your own sister? Your innocent sister who never did anything to you and who had no idea what you were involved in?” My words are laced with disbelief and disgust.

“Yes. If Victor hadn’t killed Claire, I would have done it myself eventually—and yes, I was vengeful because he killed her, but she was my sister and she was mine to kill, not Victor’s.” She pauses and says with sincerity, “I know that’s a lot to stomach, Izabel—I know. I know it’s impossible for you to understand. But I don’t feel emotions or see things the way that you do. I never will because I was raised from the moment I was born, to be the way I am—it’s no different from you being the way you are. We all have our ‘unforgivable’ faults, I suppose that just happens to be my most notable.”

My mouth is incredibly dry. My heart isn’t beating fast or slow, but it’s not beating right, it’s like it can’t figure out how. Does Victor contemplate killing me like Nora contemplated killing Claire? Could he really get rid of me because I’m interfering in his life as a killer? Could he kill Niklas? A part of me tells me she’s just crazy and that Victor may be like her in many ways, but not in the most extreme ways—and I believe that! My heart tells me that he would never resort to that. He sent me away once, back to Arizona, and had no intention in ever seeing me again…but…but he did. He watched over me the entire time.

No! I can’t let her get to me like this. I won’t let her.

I round my chin and reclaim my control.

Nora has proven her manipulation skills far surpass mine or that of anyone I’ve ever met. She can make a person believe just about anything she wants, make the strongest-minded person doubt himself, or the weakest-minded person believe she’s something extraordinary. I know how she works—I experienced it firsthand—and I won’t make that mistake again. Maybe the things she’s telling me aren’t a manipulation tactic at all, and they are truly nothing more than her opinions, but I’m not taking any chances. I’m going to listen to my heart, and my heart is telling me that…only some of the things she’s saying are true…and the part about losing what’s left of my personal life, I believe is one of them.

“He doesn’t know...,” I say, though I’m not sure why I’m telling her. I stare at the wall above her head; the gun is still trained on her, but my mind is off somewhere else.

“He doesn’t know what?” Nora asks.

A lot of time passes before I answer.

“…He turned the audio to the room off when I confessed to you,” I say distantly, seeing only the bricks in front of me. “He doesn’t know that I had a baby with Javier…that I have a seven-year-old son or daughter out there somewhere.”

“And you’d do better to keep it that way.” I think it’s her way of also telling me she’ll keep my secret.

I look down at her, surprised she hasn’t moved, because in my brief moment of distraction, someone with Nora’s skill could’ve easily reacted quickly enough to knock me from my feet and took the gun from me.

I hold the gun more firmly, realizing.

She looks at the wall again, waiting and ready for me to kill her. No fears. No regrets. No attempts to save her own life. Nora Kessler has accepted her fate.

“I trust your judgment, Izabel,” he says. “When it comes to others, you’re a good judge of character.”

I feel like I’m trapped within my own spinning mind. I look to and from the barrel of my gun and the back of Nora’s head.

“How important is honesty to you?” I ask her.

“I have no reason to lie,” she says, “unless it’s my job to lie—why do you ask?”

“Then tell me,” I say, ignoring her inquiry, “turn around and face me so I can see your eyes, and tell me why you want to be a part of our organization.”

After a moment, Nora turns around, still on her knees, to face me. She looks up at me with curiosity.

Then she smiles with disbelief and shakes her head.

“Before you make a fool of yourself, Izabel,” she says, “if you want me to hang around to train you just because you want to keep Victor, you might as well shoot me.”