Second Chance Pass (Virgin River #5)(32)

“I never expected this,” Tom said. “I didn’t expect it to be so natural, so awesome. Makes me feel like I can’t live without her. Makes me feel sick to my stomach to even think about her ever being with another guy. I can’t imagine ever being with another girl. It just has me torn up inside.”

Paul chuckled in spite of himself. “Tommy,” he said, putting a strong hand on his shoulder. “You’re talking about the thing that makes the bucks lock horns, makes bulls tear down barn doors to get to the cow. Men go into battle for less. Makes you think you’d risk anything, give up anything, lay awake at night in a cold sweat…”

“Shew,” he said. “I guess that’s what they mean when they say love hurts,” Tom said.

“No, buddy, it doesn’t. You just said so yourself—it feels wonderful to love someone and to make love. Keep your focus—separation hurts, breaking up hurts, infidelity hurts—but love, man, that’s what we live for. Because it feels good.”

“Sounds like you know what you’re talking about,” Tom said. “But it doesn’t look like you do.”

Paul frowned and gave that shoulder a squeeze. “I know. I just haven’t worked out all the details yet.”



At nine Paul threw his duffel in the back of his truck. He shook Tom’s hand and told him to hang in there, shook the general’s hand and thanked him for his hospitality, and after checking Vanni’s eyes and seeing that she had softened and wasn’t going to bite him or kick him, he slipped an arm around her waist, kissed her forehead and said, “I’m going to call you when I get back to Grants Pass tonight. We have some things to talk about. Maybe without the yelling part.”

She turned her sparkling turquoise eyes up to his face and said, “I’ll be here.”

Before heading up the highway to Oregon, Paul took a swing by Mel and Jack’s. He knocked softly on the door and Jack answered, David still in his pajamas balanced on his hip. “Morning,” Jack said. “Heading out of town?”

“Yeah. But if you have a few minutes, I need to talk.”

“Sure. We can sit out here so we don’t wake Mel. She was up half the night with her back hurting and she’s sleeping in. I have coffee. Want a cup?”

“That would be great,” he said, though he’d already had enough coffee to screw up his nerves pretty good.

Jack handed off David to Paul while he went for coffee and a bowl of dry Cheerios for his son. They settled in the Adirondack chairs, looking out over the valley below. David sat on the porch floor with his bowl of cereal between his legs.

“You don’t look too good,” Jack said.

“I’m not too good. I’ve really messed things up. After little Matt was born, after I went home, I was pretty shook up. All those months of hanging in there with Vanni and not really taking any time to grieve my best friend took a toll, I guess. Might’ve vented a little bit. There’s this girl back in Grants Pass…”

“You vent on this girl?” Jack asked.

“I vented in her. She’s pregnant.”

“Well, holy shit. That was brilliant. What were you thinking?”

“I was thinking we were protected. I’d been with her a couple of times before. You know—before Matt was killed. How impressed are you with my timing, huh?”

“What are you going to do?” Jack asked.

“I’m going to support her, naturally. She’s having the baby, so I’m going to do my part. I’m not going to marry her because I don’t…Aw hell, I wouldn’t be doing her any favors. I met her in a bar a while back—little over a year ago. I wasn’t seeing her regularly. I feel terrible about this.”

“Man,” Jack said.

“What’s your best advice, bud?”

“How pregnant is she?”

“It happened after I got back to Grants Pass. A couple of months now. I’m going to have to tell Vanni. Pretty soon. I tried last night, but I screwed up. And even without knowing the details, she flipped out, tore my head off just thinking I had a girl back home I hadn’t mentioned. Man, that woman has a real short fuse. She’s going to kill me. No figure of speech here—she’s good with a gun.”

“Hold on there,” Jack said. “One thing at a time. You should probably get yourself tested for STDs—do that tomorrow. If you used protection, I don’t know…maybe there’s a chance this baby isn’t yours…”

“I thought of that. Thing is, she says she hadn’t been with a guy for so long, she got a little lazy with the pills and I used a condom I’d been carrying around for months…”

“She suggest marriage?”

“Yeah, that was the first thing…”

“Listen, Einstein—what if she’s not even pregnant, huh? Outside chance, but possible. Before you make a lifetime commitment to support someone you don’t know very well, you better get all the facts. Just don’t move too fast here, pal.”

“I gotta call Vanni tonight, and tell her. I’ve got her all confused and totally furious…”

“Paul, you can’t tell her on the phone,” Jack said.

“But—”

“Paul! She’s gonna hang up on you! And then the next time you show your face, she’s going to put a bullet in your head. And Walt will help her line up her shot.”