Say the Word(36)

“He’s right, you know,” Fae added, her head tilting as she examined me. “You’re not telling us everything.”

“Alright,” I conceded. “Maybe I’m not. But I’ve told you all that I can. Trust me when I say that if I could talk about it, you’d be the first to know. For now, though, can you guys do me a favor? Can you please just be my friends and not push me on this?”

“Are you in trouble?” Fae asked immediately, concern overtaking her features. “Did something illegal happen?”

“Ohmigod!” Simon exclaimed. “Are you in the Witness Protection Program? I bet that’s it. You found out his dad was a mob boss or something, and he was gonna have you whacked so you had to go into hiding!”

“No one says ‘whacked’ anymore, Simon,” Fae chided.

“What about ‘sleeping with the fishes’? Can I use that one?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s a Hollywood fabrication,” I added. “And as for your theory… No, I am not in the Witness Protection Program. And no, Sebastian’s father is not a villain — he’s just a politician.”

“Some would argue those are actually one and the same,” Fae noted.

“Damn, I’ve always wanted to know someone who was in hiding. Leading a double life. On the run from her past,” Simon said, his tone dramatic and his eyes distant. Strangely, his comments made Fae’s cheeks flush red and she diverted her gaze abruptly, scrutinizing the cracked imperfections in our tabletop with studious intensity.

Hmmm. Curious.

She was not easily ruffled. Cool, collected, polished — that was Fae. In the nearly three years I’d known her, I’d never once seen her blush. I wanted to ask about it, but I’d have to wait until later, when we were in private. I wouldn’t put her on the spot.

“Sorry to disappoint,” I told Simon. “Let’s get another round, shall we?”

“Definitely,” he agreed, signaling the waitress over.

“Fae?” I asked. At the sound of her name, her head snapped up and she met my gaze. She’d been lost in her thoughts, and the remnants of ghosts still lingered in her eyes. “You okay?”

“Fine, fine,” she said, shrugging off whatever had sent her spiraling down memory lane. She smiled reassuringly. “Just spaced out for a second. Are we getting another round?”

I nodded in confirmation, but my mind was racing.

So Fae had some secrets — didn’t we all? Perhaps that’s why she hadn’t pushed me to reveal my past with Sebastian, whereas Simon would’ve gladly reenacted the Spanish Inquisition in order to get answers from me.

I’d been lucky, I knew that. Not everyone had friends who’d accept them in spite of their flaws, secrets, and shortcomings. I tried to hold onto that feeling now, as I listened to the two of them rambling drunkenly as we walked toward the busier intersection in the early hours of the morning.

“Bingo!” Fae exclaimed, pointing across the street at an oncoming cabbie. After her brief reverie earlier she’d proceeded to get hammered, sucking down martinis faster than the bartender could pour them. Simon had happily matched her pace, so I’d stopped after three rounds, figuring it was probably best if at least one of us was coherent enough to see straight.

Putting two fingers in my mouth, I whistled to signal the cab, and immediately broke into a smile when he slowed to a stop near the curb. Even after years in the city, the thrill of doing that had never worn off. I grabbed hold of Fae and Simon’s hands, checked for oncoming traffic, and led them across the street to where the cabbie was waiting for us.

“Spotted!” Simon said, slipping effortlessly into a falsetto. “F and L getting into a cab in the Village after a night of debauchery.”

“Okay, Gossip Girl, just get in the cab,” I said, laughing.

Within seconds, we were on our way to SoHo, with me crammed into the middle seat between Fae and Simon. Not even five minutes into the ride, both of their heads dropped onto my shoulders as they nodded off. Trying not to jostle them too much, I slipped my phone from my pocket and snapped a quick picture of the three of us. I laughed when I glanced at the image: me, smiling wide; Simon, his face slackened in a drunken stupor; and Fae, her lips parted and a puddle of drool forming in the corner of her mouth.

I chuckled under my breath as I uploaded the picture to my social media pages, with the caption:

If you can’t run with the big dogs, stay on the porch.

They’d both shriek in horror when they saw it online tomorrow morning, but at the moment I didn’t care. I’d learned some hard lessons in my life, but perhaps the most important one was that you have to cherish the insignificant moments you have with your most significant people. To hold onto the times when you’re happy. To smile often, and laugh loudly. To enjoy the ones you love, and hold them close to your heart while you still have them.

I closed my eyes and smiled as the cab wound through the bustling streets of SoHo, still vibrant with life even in the wee hours of the morning. Things weren’t perfect — they’d never be perfect — but in this moment, life was good.





***


“Ughhh.”

The noises coming from Fae’s mouth were eerily similar to the sounds made by zombies on The Walking Dead, a sure sign she was hungover. Perched on one of the kitchen island barstools, I sipped my coffee and watched as she cracked one bleary eye open.