Santa's Sweetheart (The Christmas Tree Ranch #4)(39)

Grace released a ragged breath. “I’m sorry for unloading on you like this, Sam. I just wanted you to understand my craziness, and to know that if I push you away, it isn’t your fault. Before I get involved again, I need time and space to work things out. Otherwise, I’ll only risk hurting people I care about.”

“It’s all right.” He didn’t reach for her, even though Grace found herself wishing he would. Those big, strong arms would feel comforting right now. But she had drawn a line, and she knew that Sam wouldn’t cross it. He had too much integrity and too much pride.

“Thanks for being honest,” he said. “I care about you, Grace—enough to take this as far as you’ll let me. But if you need time and space, I won’t reach out to you or push you in any way. If and when you feel ready to take a chance, you know where to find me. Got it?”

“Got it.” What she really wanted was for him to take her in his arms and kiss her until stars exploded in her head. But that would only complicate things. “Don’t think I expect you to wait around for me,” she said. “If you happen to meet somebody else—”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” He gave her hand a quick squeeze and withdrew. “I’ll be going now. Maggie will be wondering where her father is. Take care, Grace.”

When he’d gone, she started the car and drove home. Sam was right. If anything good and lasting was to happen between them, she had to get past her fears. But that could take time, and she was already missing him—his gentle smile, his strength, his patience, his ability to thrill her with a touch . . .

Had she been fool enough to fall in love with him?





Chapter Ten


The window of Grace’s classroom gave her a partial view of the circular driveway where parents could let off their students and pick them up after school. From where she stood, waiting for the day to begin, she watched the sheriff’s Jeep stop at the curb. Sam came around the vehicle to help his daughter to the ground. After passing down her schoolbag and accepting a quick hug, he stood watching her run into the building. Only after she’d gone inside did he climb back into the Jeep and pull out of sight.

As she turned away from the window, Grace felt a familiar ache in her throat. Sam cared for everyone—his daughter, his town, and even her. He deserved a woman with a heart as big as his own—not a scarred victim of childhood trauma, unable to trust. Grace knew she was broken. She wanted desperately to heal, not only for Sam but for herself. But she didn’t know how. Until she could find a way, she had little choice except to keep her distance.

She would see Sam tonight at the committee meeting. They would be polite and friendly. Maybe he would ask her how she was doing. She would answer that she was fine. But both of them would know that she didn’t mean it. As they sat at the table, she would devour him with her eyes, turning her gaze away only when he looked at her. After the meeting ended, she would avoid walking out alone with him. Nothing about this arrangement felt natural. But for now, it was the way things had to be.

The first bell had rung. Her students were pouring into the classroom, eyes sparkling, voices chattering, all of them excited that the holiday was almost here. Maggie walked in with her friend Brenda. As they took their seats, the second bell rang. The P.A. came on with the Pledge of Allegiance and the daily announcements. It was time for Grace to forget her own troubles and make it a happy day for her class.

*

Where had her plan gone wrong? Maggie looked up from her math worksheet to study her teacher. Miss Chapman had been all cheery smiles this morning when she’d greeted the class. But now as she moved among the students, hushing some and helping others as needed, Maggie sensed that something was wrong. It was as if the light and joy had drained from her face.

Sam had been looking much the same way for most of the week. When he talked to Maggie, especially about Christmas, it was as if he’d put on a happy, smiling mask. But when he didn’t think she was watching him, the mask fell away. He looked lonely, the way he had much of the time before Miss Chapman came into his life.

Had they had an argument? Had they broken up? Maggie didn’t know; and she suspected that if she were to ask, neither of them would tell her the truth. She only knew that Miss Chapman hadn’t come around in the past week, and Sam hadn’t brought her name up even once. Something needed to be set right. And this time Maggie was out of ideas.

Tonight they’d be seeing each other at the meeting to plan the Christmas ball. If Maggie could be there, too, she might be able to move things in the right direction. She knew that Sam hadn’t planned to take her. But maybe if she begged, she could change his mind. For now, all she could do was hope.

*

“Miss Chapman.” The voice, coming from behind her in the hallway, stopped Grace in her tracks. Her heart sank. She’d hoped that Ed Judkins had given up on targeting her as a confidante. Steeling herself, she turned to face her boss.

“I was hoping to catch you before you left.” He appeared flushed and slightly out of breath. “I’d like to talk to you. Would you join me in my office?”

“I’m in a hurry,” Grace said. “Can’t we talk right here?”

“This won’t take long.” He glanced at the custodian, who passed them pushing a wheeled cart. “Come on, Grace—I may call you Grace, mayn’t I? We can talk on the way.”