Santa's Sweetheart (The Christmas Tree Ranch #4)(38)

Grace laughed. “Tell them they can keep it all winter if they want. I’m getting accustomed to those lovely, heated leather seats.”

“Good.”

They were approaching the exit that opened onto the parking lot. Sam found himself scrambling for an excuse to keep her with him. But he’d given her the news about the car, and now he was strangely tongue-tied. What could he say next?

You know, Grace, I really enjoyed that kiss. What do you think about trying it again?

No way.

I’ve been missing you, Grace. Maybe we could get together over coffee sometime after work.

Better. But she was still likely to say no.

He opened the door for her, and they stepped outside, into the chilly night. In a moment she’d be gone, and he’d have no reason to see her again until next week’s committee meeting.

Blast it! What could he do to get more time with her?

*

Grace could sense the tension that hung between them, crackling like the air before a thunderstorm. She’d felt it from the moment he walked into the meeting tonight. The chemistry was there, all right. But that didn’t mean it was a good thing—not given her history with men and the potential for damage.

It was time to throw cold water on any chance of involvement with this sexy, gentle, compelling man who was in danger of capturing her heart. And Grace knew of just one sure way to do that—tell him the truth.

“Walk me to my car, Sam,” she said. “I need to talk to you.”

“This sounds serious.” He kept pace with her as they crossed the parking lot.

“It is.” She shivered as a gust of cold wind pierced her jacket. “But if you need to get right home to Maggie—”

“Maggie’s fine. She’s at the neighbors’.”

“Then maybe we should get in the car. It’s freezing out here.”

“Sounds like a good idea.” He opened the door for her, then went around the car and climbed into the passenger seat.

“I can warm it up,” she said.

“No need.” His tone was cautious. “I’m listening.”

She turned in the seat to face him. “Thanks, Sam. You’re a decent man. That’s why I want to be honest with you.”

“Go on. Whatever you’ve got to say, I can handle it.”

Grace took a deep breath. Why did this have to be so hard? “That kiss—it was the real thing,” she said. “You’re a wonderful man. I could fall for you in a heartbeat.”

“But?”

“I’m a train wreck, Sam. I tend to mess up every life I touch, and I don’t want to mess up your life or Maggie’s. You deserve better.”

Sam didn’t reply. But his face, lit by the parking lot’s security lamp, showed nothing but kindness and patience. As sheriff, he’d probably heard every hard-luck story in the book. But he hadn’t heard this one.

“I’ve been engaged twice,” she said. “Both times I got cold feet and gave the rings back. The last time was just a few days before the wedding. I had my dress, the venue was reserved, the invitations mailed, the food ordered, my brother had flown in to walk me down the aisle—and suddenly I knew I couldn’t go through with it. My ex-fiancé still phones me and accuses me of ruining his life.”

“It sounds like you made the right decision.”

“I know that now. But the other engagement was to a perfectly nice guy. I just couldn’t go through with it. And before that—”

“Before that?” Was he dismayed or just curious?

“Sam, every relationship I’ve ever had with a man ended when I got scared and broke it off.”

Sam was silent, as if weighing his words before he spoke. “So, you’re concerned that the same thing would happen with me?”

“It’s not just you I’m concerned about. It’s Maggie. I love that little girl of yours, Sam. If I were to get her expectations up and then break her heart, I’d never forgive myself.”

“I understand.”

And he did understand, Grace was sure. He might take a chance with his own feelings, but he would never risk hurting Maggie.

So maybe now he would say good-bye and get out of the car. Maybe after this she would only see him at school and city functions. Wasn’t that what she’d set out to do?

“You mentioned being scared, Grace,” he said. “Have you talked to a therapist?”

“I have. It helped me to understand the problem. But it didn’t fix it.”

She told him then, about the childhood incident that had triggered it all—coming home from school in the middle of the day to discover her father in bed with his girlfriend.

“I never told anyone about it except the therapist, and now you. But I adored my dad, the way Maggie loves you. I was his best girl, his little princess. When he left our family to marry that woman, it destroyed my mother and left me afraid to trust any man in a relationship.”

“Are you in touch with your father?”

“I haven’t spoken to him since he left. He tried for a while—phone calls, birthday cards, and gifts. My mother sent them all back. After a while they stopped coming. My brother keeps track of him. But Cooper was in high school when our family came apart. He was on the football team, had a girlfriend, lived in his own world. Dad’s betrayal didn’t hurt him the way it hurt me.”