Rule(63)

“Rule had to run an errand before work out this way so I thought we would stop by and say hi.  You guys aren’t busy are you?”

“No your mom is upstairs.”  His gaze settled on me.  “I’m surprised to see you son.”

I wanted to throw out something flippant but in the vein of trying to make peace I gave a lopsided grin and answered, “Yeah I bet.  Rome thought it would be cool.”

“Rule this is your home, you are always welcome here.”

I wanted to say I hadn’t felt welcome in well over three years but I just nodded and said, “Thanks for that dad.”

“What kind of errand did you have to do an hour away in the snow?”

I rubbed a hand over my head and looked at Rome sideways.  “Uh I actually told Shaw I would come get her car for her.  She left it here when she was visiting her folks.”

“Shaw was in Brookside this weekend?  You might not want to let your mom know that.  She’s having a hard time with the line Shaw drew in the sand.  That little gal is just as stubborn as you boys and I don’t think Margot was prepared for her to stick to her guns the way she has.  It’s awful nice of you to help her out Rome.”

I rolled my eyes at the automatic assumption Rome was the one she called on even though he had already told him it was my errand.  I wasn’t going to say anything but Rome chuckled and patted my dad on the back.

“Not me old-timer.  Shaw and Rule have called a truce.  You should see them; they actually act civil and spend time like normal people do together.  He’s the one that told her he would get the car, I just got roped into being the second driver.”

My dad looked over Rome’s broad shoulder at me with shock clear on his face.  “Really?  You two were always at odds, even when you were young.”

I shrugged.  “I’m trying to grow up a little bit.  She’s been in my life a long time I’m trying to put that into a new perspective. We get along fine.”  Plus spending time with her naked as often as possible was my new top priority in life and doing things that made her happy and kept her safe also had the bonus of making me happy which was such a new feeling I wasn’t sure what to do with it yet.

“Well maybe you can tell her how hard it’s been for your mom without her around.  Getting her to come by for a visit would be lovely.”

“She has her reasons for staying away dad.”  My tone sharpened reflexively but I kept my face smoothed out trying the belay the tension that was growing as we walked into the living room where my mom was watching TV on the sofa.  Her eyes snapped from Rome to me and then back.  Even from across the room I could feel the displeasure radiating off of her.

“What are you doing here?”  She didn’t even look at Rome her eyes were glued to me and her anger was like a whip across my skin.  I shoved my hands in my pockets and met her gaze with a level one of my own.  I wasn’t going to let her get under my skin this time; I owed it to my brother and to my girl.

“Just came by to say and see how you’re doing.”

“I don’t want you here.”  Rome went stiff beside me and I heard my dad take in a quick intake of breath but I wasn’t surprised.

“I know but I thought it wouldn’t kill me to try and fix things.”

“Why bother you just ruin everything.”  Her voice was raspy and I swore I could see the hatred she harbored hanging off of each syllable.  My dad took a step forward but Rome pulled him back.  “Margot that’s enough.  The boy is our son not a stranger we’re going to just put out on the street because you’re unhappy with him right now.”

“Dad it’s cool, I know how she feels and she’s never hidden it.”

“What do you expect Rule?  Because of you your brother is in a box in the ground and the girl I think of as a daughter won’t have anything to do with me.  You’re a poison to this family.”

Well that was a little harsher and a little blunter than she normally went for but it was finally out in the open.  I rubbed my fists in my eyes and bit out a sigh.  My dad and Rome were trying to talk over each other, both trying to get her to retract her awful statements and telling her that none of it was true but it was to no avail.

“Hey, hey everybody stop.  It’s oaky, come on Rome don’t act like you’re shocked.  She always blamed me because I called him that night for a ride, it’s cool I get it.  In fact I blamed myself for a long time too until I realized it could have been a million other reasons.  It was an accident, an accident that took someone we all loved but still an accident.  She could blame the truck driver, she could blame Remy for speeding, she could blame God for the rain or even the doctor in the O.R. for not being good enough at his job but no, she blames me and always will and its fine if that’s what she needs in order to keep it together I can shoulder that load.”  All three of them were looking at me with wide eyes.  It was probably the most I had said to my parents in one sitting in over five years and there was no yelling or no temper tantrums.  “Shaw is a smart girl and has strong convictions so I refuse to let you put your actions and consequences with her on me.  She told you straight up what you needed to do in order to maintain your relationship with her and you refused.  No one is to blame for that but you.”