Ruin:Part One(22)

"You had no right to follow me to his place, Noah." I know the words sound petulant and spiteful. "I'm old enough to make my own decisions."

"Alexa loves you." He taps his hand on my shoulder. "You're like a sister to her."

I don't feel the guilt that is implied within the words. Why should I? "Alexa gets to love you, why can't I…"I stop myself. I don't love Ben. I'm crazy in like with Ben. "Why can't I be with Ben?"

"He's a no good piece of lying shit," he hisses each word slowly over his tongue. "He's not who you think he is."

"Maybe he's not who you think he is." I push my finger into his hard chest. "Maybe you just can't get over losing your mother."

He takes a step back as his hand reaches to the brick fa?ade of the building. I hear him curse beneath his breath. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I do." I take a step closer to him. I'm the one on the offense now. He doesn’t get to dictate my life to me. That's not how this works.

His eyes search my face. "What did he tell you?"

It's common knowledge. It's not as though I'll be betraying Ben in any way if I repeat what he told me. "He said you and your father blame him for your mother's death."

"He actually told you that?" He doesn't hesitate as he barks the words at me. "I can't believe he told you that."

I stare at him. I can't gauge whether Noah's reaction is strictly based in the emotional void that he's felt since losing his mom or if he's harboring more resentment towards Ben than he's letting me see. "Noah," I say his name softly. "Ben told me he was with someone the day your mom died. He told me he was supposed to be watching her."

His brow furrows as he digests my words. "Say that again." He leans forward craning his ear towards me.

"Ben told me that he was in the guest house with a woman while you and Ron were out."

His hand flies in the air in a circular motion. "Go on."

I blow a heavy puff of air out between my lips. "He said that she died and he didn't know until you both came home."

His chin tilts down as his hand scrubs over his forehead. I've seen Ben do the very same thing. "That's what Ben told you?"

I nod slowly looking for confirmation of the story in Noah's eyes. I find nothing but a blank stare.

"Do you trust me, Kayla?"

It's not a fair question. If he asked me at any other moment in time I'd tell him absolutely without hesitation. Noah is an extension of Alexa in my eyes. I can count on him. I know he wants the best for me. The only problem is that in this instance, he can't see things clearly. His resentment and hatred for his brother is clouding his judgement.

"It's not that simple, Noah."

"It's a very simple question." He taps his fingers against the brick. "You are an incredibly important person to the woman I love. She needs you. She counts on you. I can't let anything happen to you."

I scratch the back of my ear. "Nothing bad is going to happen to me, Noah."

"He will hurt you." His voice is calm and controlled. "He will damage you in ways you can't even imagine. You are nothing to him. Nothing."

I lean back into the wall for balance. "Ben is a good person. He's a doctor."

He shakes his head slightly. "You think that makes him a saint?"

"No," I say briskly. "I'm not na?ve, Noah. You're making me feel like an idiot."

"He didn’t tell you everything about the day she died. I doubt he's told you everything about his life." The words bite into me deeply. He's making me feel silly and foolish for falling into bed with Ben.

"I'm not marrying him, Noah," I offer as a reprieve. "I'm just having fun with him."

He throws his head back in frustration. "I am trying desperately to protect you. Why can't you see that?"

"You are angry with him because your mother died." I reach for his forearm. "That doesn't make him a bad person."

"I am angry with him because he has f*cked over every single person who was close to him, including me." His free hand jumps to cover mine. "He uses people as if they are nothing. He takes what he can from them and then throws them away like trash."


I shake my head. "That's wrong."

"It's right." He squeezes my hand harder. "He's a master at manipulating people. He tried to ruin my life. "

"How?" I shoot the question out without realizing how much desperation is attached to it.

He scrubs his hand over his face. "I can't talk to you about this, Kayla. I need to talk to Alexa first. It will kill her inside if she knows I'm sharing stuff about Ben with you and not her."

Normally, I'd take that as a weak excuse for wanting to hold his secrets close to him, but this is Noah Foster. Alexa is his life and I know that he honors her in a way few men honor the women they adore.

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask genuinely. I feel completely conflicted inside. I have nothing concrete to dissuade me from Ben's confessions about the day his mother died. All I have to contradict that are some loosely disguised accusations that have come from my best friend's boyfriend.