Ruby Shadows (Born to Darkness #3)(79)
“And what are you?” Gwendolyn asked quietly, taking another bite. “Why is your blood red, not black like all the other demons and creatures I’ve seen here? You said you weren’t always as you are now—what were you before, Laish?”
“That need not concern you,” I told her, looking away. “For I am not what I was before and I can never be again.”
“You sound sad about that,” she said softly. “Wistful, almost.”
“Do I?” It tried to laugh but the sound that came out was harsh and cynical. “I think you are reading too much into my words, Gwendolyn.”
“Am I?” She sounded thoughtful. “I don’t know about that.”
I didn’t like being put on the defensive—didn’t like being made to feel so many tender emotions when before I’d met her the strongest feeling I’d had was of everlasting boredom. She had come into my life and forced me to feel things—forced me to care. It was irritating in the extreme sometimes—especially since I still couldn’t figure out why I cared so much for her.
“You needn’t concern yourself with my past,” I said coolly. “I prefer not to talk about it but if you wish to disclose secrets I will gladly tell you mine when you tell me yours. Who do you wish to punish with your spell, Gwendolyn? Who was he and what did he do to you and those you love?”
Her face closed at once and she scooted away from me.
“Never you mind about that—it’s my business.”
“And my past is mine,” I said, shortly. “Now perhaps you should try to get some rest. We still have a tiring journey ahead of us tomorrow.”
“So we’ll be back on the road?” she asked neutrally. “I thought you needed time to rest and get back your power.”
“A night of rest should restore me quite a lot,” I replied. “I will soon be at full strength again—it helps that the next circle we are going to pass through is my home.”
“It is?” Her eyes widened. “Are we going to go by your house?”
I shook my head. “My estate, as I told you, is in Hades. When we pass the next barrier, we will be entering the City of Dis which is about five hundred leagues away.”
Gwendolyn shifted uncomfortably.
“About the barrier…”
“You need not concern yourself with it now,” I told her. “We are close enough to break it here but we do not need to. Wait until tomorrow and we will find another way for you to pay the Sin Tax. One that does not involve me touching you, as I know you dislike that.”
“It’s not that I dislike it, you know that,” she protested. “It just feels…dangerous.”
To say the honest truth, it felt dangerous to me as well. As a demon of lust I should be able to take my pleasure with her and think nothing of it. Yet I found myself affected by her innocence. Her pleasure in my touch undid me in ways I did not fully understand.
“I am not offended,” I said. “I understand why you want to keep your distance—to keep your innocence. And in the spirit of that…” Summoning some of my slowly returning power, I conjured a long silk nightdress for her and some black satin sleeping trousers for myself as well.
“Oh, thank you!” Gwendolyn eagerly pulled the dress on. It was deep green and looked lovely with her eyes.
“I will conjure you some pillows as well,” I promised. “I thought you could sleep before the fire tonight as the bed doesn’t seem to be to your liking.”
“You’re right about that.” She shivered. “In front of the fire will be fine.”
“Very well.” I called a fluffy goose down pillow to me and handed it to her. “Sweet dreams, Gwendolyn.”
She bit her lip, that habit she had when uncertain of something.
“You’re not, uh, joining me?”
“As I told you before, demons have no need of sleep,” I said. “And considering that you wish to keep your distance, I think it better that I watch over you from here.” I took a seat at the table on one of the crude wooden stools.
“Oh. All right.” Strangely, she sounded disappointed. Why would she, though? After all, she was the one who wished to keep me at an arm’s length—I was making that very easy for her. I couldn’t fathom why she should be upset that I would be spending the night away from her.
“Good night, Gwendolyn,” I murmured, conjuring her a blanket. It appeared and draped over her softly curving form. I hoped it would keep her warm since I could not do it myself.
“Good night, Laish,” she whispered and was still, her face turned to the fire, her eyes closed.
For a long while I watched the play of firelight and shadows over her high cheekbones and lovely face. She was not asleep—I could tell that. But she was pretending, either for my benefit or her own. So I simply sat and watched, wishing I could caress her as the firelight did, wishing to kiss her…to hold her…to bring her pleasure.
And yet I could not. Nor could I even say why I wanted to in the first place.
Chapter Twenty-four
Gwendolyn
It took a long time to drift off. I could feel Laish watching me and I couldn’t help wondering what he was thinking. I knew what I was thinking though—it was all about him. All about Laish.