Ruby Shadows (Born to Darkness #3)(68)

But even freakier than the suddenly-appearing mountain was the vast, dark opening I saw in its side. It looked like the mouth of a cave—twenty feet high and at least ten feet across. But though it was wide enough and facing towards the sun, no light penetrated its entrance. It was pitch black inside—like someone had hung some kind of black-out curtain across the entrance. Just looking into that yawning mouth and its endless slice of midnight made my heart do a funny little skip in my chest—like it was trying to get up into my throat.

“Ah—the Jealous Heart,” Laish said, stopping about twenty feet from it. “We have arrived even sooner than I had hoped. We can stop here for the night.”

“No,” I said, looking at him. “No, I don’t want to stop. Let’s go on—let’s go as far as we can.”

He frowned at me. “I don’t think you understand. There are necessary preparations one must make before crossing through the Jealous Heart. Steps that while tedious, are necessary for a safe passage. And then there is the small matter of the barrier which is at the exact center of the cavern.”

“The barrier?” I faltered. Somehow I’d managed to forget about the fact that we had to pay the Sin Tax in order to move between one circle of Hell and the next.


“Indeed.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Do you wish to pay the tax now…or later?”

Remembering my vow to myself, I lifted my chin.

“I don’t want to pay it at all—or at least, not the way we’ve been paying it,” I told him. “I mean, it’s called a Sin Tax, right? Not a lust tax. So it stands to reason that there must be another way to pay the tax. Some other, uh, sin I can commit.”

“Indeed there is,” Laish said quietly. “There are many sins to choose from although some are hard to commit in such a way as to breach the barrier.”

“Such as what?” I looked around me. “Look, are there any pits here? I’d really like to get down and stretch my legs before we go on.”

“The area around the Jealous Heart is free of sand traps. Just be careful not to get too close to the mouth of the cavern.” He reached up to take my hand and I grudgingly let him help me down.

Laish sighed as he got me safely to the ground.

“Well, pride—the excessive belief in one’s own abilities—cannot be your sin, as you just allowed me to help you off Kurex’s back.”

“What? I didn’t know we were starting now!” I protested. “Let me get back on and we can redo it!”

He shook his head. “It doesn’t work that way. And anyway, I do not believe pride will break the barrier or we would have felt it give way when you tried to mount Kurex earlier and nearly slipped into the trap.”

I shivered at the memory.

“Ugh! That was awful. Um…” I scuffed my foot against the sand. “I don’t think I thanked you for saving me. So, well, thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said gravely. “And I think we must rule out anger as your potential sin as you no longer seem to be angry with me.”

I sighed—he was right about that. I had been frightened and upset and yes, angry, with him for not telling me his true nature before. But now I couldn’t summon any rage against him at all. I just felt…sad though I didn’t even really know why. Because I’d been having feelings for him and had been forced to make myself let them go? Because I wished our circumstances were different?

Things would be so much easier if he was just a nice guy I’d met in a supermarket somewhere. Someone I could strike up a conversation and form a relationship with. Preferably a real one that would end in a soul bond and eternal love, like what my Grams had had with my grandpa.

Then I realized what I was thinking and scoffed at myself. How ridiculous! As if someone like Laish would ever look at home roaming the aisles of Publix or Winn Dixie.

As if I could form a soul bond with a being who had no soul.

I tried to shake the feeling and get back to business.

“Okay,” I said firmly. “What else could I do?”

“Sloth cannot be your sin because you have undertaken an arduous quest to close the door into the Abyss,” he said thoughtfully. “Greed will not do as you do not seem to desire either excessive wealth or power.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Except the power to take revenge on the one who had wronged you?”

“I’m not discussing that with you,” I said shortly. “It’s not your business.”

“Of course not. Well, I do not believe it would work anyway. In general, the sin one uses to pay the tax must be an actual physical action.”

“Great…just great.” I began to pace back and forth, forgetting my earlier fear of the dark mouth of the cave. In fact, I hardly noticed it now—I was too busy thinking about my dilemma. It felt good to stretch my legs but my mind was in an uproar, trying desperately to think of some way to break the barrier between the circles without doing anything sexual with Laish.

“I think gluttony must be ruled off the list of possible sins since I cannot now convince you to eat anything I give you,” Laish said dryly, watching me pace.

In fact, I was feeling lightheaded and empty at the moment—it had been a long time since that single bite of cantaloupe that morning and even longer since the PB&J from my broken Sponge Bob container. But I tried to ignore my rumbling stomach.