Rough, Raw, and Ready (Rough Riders #5)(22)

“I know.”


Edgard let the moment linger. “So what now?”


“I dunno. Chassie left for a day or two. Said she needs time. Can’t say as I blame her. This whole thing is majorly f*cked up.”


“But she is comin’ back?”


“Says she is.”


“Good.”


Trevor finally looked at him. “Don’t f*ck with me, Ed. I ain’t gotta lotta patience left today.”


“I’m not.” Edgard shoved a hand through his hair. “Look, honest to God, Trev, I didn’t plan for that to happen. I just…” This was one of those times when translation was a bitch. He knew what he wanted to say, but couldn’t find the words for it. “Given all the shitty things we used to do to each other, I’m sure you don’t believe me.”


Trevor spit tobacco juice on the ground. “Know the strange thing? I do believe you.

Besides, we both knew it was gonna happen sooner or later.”


Edgard was shocked Trevor had admitted that much.

“But see, I don’t know how to handle this stuff between us any better now than I did three and a half years ago.”


“You and me both.”


More uneasy silence.

Finally Trevor sighed. “I can tell you got something else on your mind.”


“How?”


Trevor gestured to the hand Edgard jammed in his hair. “That hair thing. You still do it when you’re agitated. I remember you used to do it a lot around me.”


Jesus. It killed him that Trevor hadn’t been as aloof as he’d pretended. Or maybe Edgard had been so self-centered that he’d been aloof to Trevor’s perceptiveness.

“So spill it since we’re already hip deep in shit.”


Edgard caught himself touching his hair and dropped his hand. “I want you like f*cking crazy, Trev. That hasn’t changed.”


“I know.”


“But do you know that I’m not gonna do anything about it?”


Trevor’s suspicious gaze snared his.

“I won’t be making moves on you while Chassie’s gone.”


That blue-eyed stare narrowed further.

“Betcha think that’s contrary to my behavior today?”


“Maybe a touch.”


Edgard laughed. “It’s true.”


“Lemme see if this washed-up rodeo cowboy has this right. You want me. You came all the way to Wyoming from Brazil so you could have me. Now that my wife knows what we used to be to each other, and she’s gone…you’re sittin’ on your hands?”


“Uh. Yeah.”


“I can’t believe I’m gonna ask why, but why?”


“I’d actually hoped to feel nothin’ when I saw you again. You are everything I remembered you to be, better actually, probably as a result of marrying Chassie. She is…”


“Is what?” Trevor asked sharply.

“Sweet. She doesn’t deserve this. I never want to see that horrified look on her face again.”


That comment sent Trevor back into full retreat.

Great.

After a while, Trevor said, “Know something funny? Chassie wants us to talk. She thinks it’ll help if we get everything out in the open.”


“So she doesn’t realize that was our issue? That we couldn’t be open?”


Trevor frowned. “First time you’ve said ‘we’ in that old argument, Ed. You always blamed me for us not holdin’ hands and shit.”


“I’ve learned the hard way maybe you were right about the kinda baggage other people hide when they’re showing a different face to the world.”


When Edgard didn’t elaborate, Trevor demanded, “You gonna explain that comment? Or you gonna sit there with that smug-ass look and make me guess?”


“Trying to explain it when you’re in a piss-poor mood would be a waste of breath.”


Edgard gave Trevor a cool once-over. “And for the record, I’m not acting smug. I’m just as screwed up about all this with Chassie as you are.”


“Right. I’m sure you’re happy as shit.”


Seething, Edgard snapped, “You never had the balls to tell me how you felt when we were together every goddamn day, so don’t you ever f*cking presume to tell me anything about the way I feel now when you haven’t seen me for three and a half f*cking years.”


“I didn’t mean—”


“Yeah, you did, so just drop it. Jesus.”


“Fine.”


“Fine,” he retorted.

Meridian grunted and her tail slapped the wall again.

Time dragged on, yet there was no place Edgard would rather be than right there, even if they both were angry, frustrated and not speaking. Hell, it was practically normal for them.

Casually, Trevor remarked, “You’re playin’ with your hair again.”


Edgard lowered his hand. “Sorry.”


“Don’t be. Long as we’re bein’ honest and chattin’, all friendly like, I wanna know if you stabled a corral full of young studs durin’ the last few years? Or did you just pick one stallion to ride?”