Rooted (Pagano Family #3)(88)

Far more perfect than what was happening now, with Theo commuting up to Maine twice a f*cking week and trying to cobble together online work for his classes on the days he wasn’t on campus. Between the hospital, and his courses, and the driving, and the arrangements for the move, he was exhausted, and his nerves were frayed to fluff. He’d found an AA meeting at St. Gabriel’s and he was going as often as he could, but the twelve-step, higher-power, good-vibe stuff was started to wear on his worn nerves. He still didn’t have a sponsor. He needed one. But not here. Here was temporary.

Unless Carmen pulled more of her shit. “Jesus, Carmen. Please don’t. We have a plan. A good plan.”

She rolled in his embrace, her breasts—always beautiful, now positively stunning—grazing his arm. He felt the familiar clench in his balls and ignored it. “I know. I know. But I’m leaving my family behind with all this crap going on. I don’t know how to do that. They need me.”

“This crap is why I have to get you both out of here, Carmen. You and Teresa were shot.” He decided to take a risk, but a calm, level-headed one. He cupped her cheek in his palm. “How do they need you? Tell me what you can do to help that’s important enough to put yourself and our baby girl at risk.”

At first, as he expected, she was angry. But he held her steady when she tried to turn away, and he kept his eyes on hers. Finally, she answered—or tried to. “They…I…we stick together.”

“We stick together. Remember? You have a family of your own now. Teresa and me. We are our daughter’s roots. What’s best for her?”

“Theo…”

“Carmen. I know you’re scared of making a mistake. But you’re clinging to a past that doesn’t exist anymore. Rosa is off living a life with Eli. Joey is working and in his own place. Your father is remarried. It’s time for you to look to your future.” He waved and smiled, trying to lighten the dark look in her eyes. “Greetings. I come from the future.”

It worked, and she laughed a little. “You are so lame.” When she settled against his chest, he finally relaxed and turned onto his back, bringing her along. She sighed. “I am scared. I can’t stand not seeing for sure what’s right. And I can’t stand the thought of making my father hurt. He’s lost so much lately. Taking his only granddaughter more than two hundred miles away? How can I do that?”

“As someone who’s making that drive back and forth in a single day twice a week right now, let me say that it’s hardly Saturn you’re moving to. Teresa will know all of her wonderful family. We’ll make sure of it.”

She ran her fingers over his chest, and his cock swelled. He could not wait until he could be inside her again. “Do you have an answer for everything?”

“Only when I’m right.” He lifted her chin and bent his head to look into her eyes. “Are we good? Still on the plan?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“You say ‘I’m sorry’ a lot.”

“Would you rather I didn’t?”

“I’d rather you not need to.”

“How about I make it up to you some other way?” She pushed her hand under the covers and took hold of him.

He groaned and lifted his hips as her hand began to work his cock. “I’ll let you know when you’re forgiven.”





23



Carmen sat next to Teresa’s bassinet, nursing. Her daughter was a good little eater, and she was approaching the critical five-pound milestone. When she topped that weight and was able to stay oxygenated without a cannula, her doctor said he’d release her.

And then they’d...move to Maine?

That was the plan. It was a good plan, a reasonable plan. Safe and right. Carmen knew all that, and she was not slowing down the preparations. She and John had worked out a rental agreement, and she had worked out a way to keep her business running from a distance. Tomorrow, when Theo would be in Quiet Cove and could stay with Teresa all day, Carmen had a meeting scheduled with Maxine, her site manager, who was going to take over as general manager. Max had kept everything running smoothly all summer, and Carmen trusted her. Theo was right.

He was right about everything—about Maine being where they belonged, about Quiet Cove being too dangerous for a Pagano right now, about his job being less mobile than hers, about the reality that she wasn’t needed at home, and about the way she was letting fear and intractability blind her to the rest of it.

But she didn’t know any other way to be than rooted to her family. After all these years, the wild girl who’d stood up in Tony Napoli’s Jeep, who’d wanted to wander through Europe in search of adventures, who’d studied philosophy because she loved to think big thoughts and feel big feelings—that girl was gone. The woman in her place had always lived a small life in the shadow of the big house on Caravel Road.

Teresa unlatched and looked up at Carmen, her blue eyes big and thoughtful. She had nearly lost that swollen, incompletely molded look her face had had the first time Carmen had seen her in person, when she was just more than a week old. She lifted her daughter’s little hand from her breast and kissed it lightly.

“You done, little miss?” She turned Teresa carefully and set her on her chest, between her breasts. Even at nearly six weeks old, she was still so small and fragile that Carmen had yet to feel totally comfortable moving her around.