RoomHate(62)
Olivia: Have you given it any more thought?
Justin: Yes. I need a little more time.
A feeling of dread formed deep within my stomach. Last night had been a turning point in our relationship—or so I thought. Justin had made me feel like I could trust him implicitly. Knowing that he’d been communicating with his ex—that he’d been keeping something from me—felt like someone had just poured a bucket of ice water over my head, waking me up from a delusion.
Staring blankly out of the large kitchen window, I noticed it was drizzling outside. It was going to be a cold, raw day. I didn’t even turn when he came downstairs. The smack of his lips could be heard as he kissed Bea, who was playing on the mat nearby.
My body stiffened when he came up behind me, pressing his morning wood against my ass as he kissed my neck and said, “Good morning.”
When I turned around, he could immediately tell that something was wrong from the look on my face.
His expression dampened. “Amelia…talk to me.”
Instead of answering him, I walked over to the counter and handed him his phone. “What do you need more time for?”
Justin stared down at it and blinked a few times. “I was going to talk to you today about something. I didn’t want to take away from Bea’s first Halloween.”
It felt like the walls were closing in on me. “I feel so stupid for trusting in all of this.”
“Whoa. Hang on!” His face started to turn red in anger. “Exactly what conclusion are you jumping to right now?”
“It doesn’t take a scientist, Justin. You’ve been texting back and forth with your ex-girlfriend. Trying to decide on something.”
“That’s right. Something is going on, but it has nothing to do with her. There’s a reason she’s an ex. You have nothing to worry about. Did you not see what you f*cking did to me last night?”
“Why else are you in discussions with her then?”
He raked his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath to compose himself. “Olivia is the tour manager for Calvin Sprockett.”
“Calvin Sprockett, the singer?”
“Yes.” He laughed slightly at my reaction. “The legendary Grammy winning artist. That one.”
“Okay…so what is she discussing with you?”
“He’s going on a North American and European tour for five months. The performer who was supposed to be opening for him just unexpectedly went into rehab. Olivia’s tight with my agent, Steve Rollins. They met when we were dating. Olivia was sort of like a manager to me back then, too. Anyway, I guess Steve gave her one of my recent demos from the September recording session, and she played it for Calvin. He asked her if I was interested in being the replacement opening act on the tour.”
“Are you kidding me? Oh my God. Justin…that’s a dream!”
It was strange to feel happiness for him and also like my world was crumbling all at the same time. The one thing I knew for sure was that I was not going to let my fear stand in the way of supporting this once in a lifetime opportunity.
“I’m sorry I haven’t mentioned it yet. I really just wanted yesterday to be perfect. I swear to God I was going to tell you before the weekend was over.”
I wracked my brain to think of something to say that wouldn’t show my apprehension. “Does he know you’ve never toured before?”
Justin nodded. “At first, I thought it was strange that he would take a chance on someone like me, but apparently I’ve since learned that Cal is known for introducing brand new talent on his tours. That was how Dave Aarons got his start.”
“Really. Wow…and he chose you.”
He smiled hesitantly. “Yeah.”
“Your style totally jives with his, too.”
“I know. It’s a good fit.”
Panic aside, my heart also filled with pride. I reached up to hug him. “Holy crap. I’m so proud of you,” I said, despite the fact that it felt like my world was falling apart.
“I haven’t accepted it yet, Amelia.”
I pulled back suddenly to look him in the eyes. “You’re going to, right?”
He frowned. “I don’t know.”
“You can’t turn it down.”
“I wanted to discuss it with you first.”
“What is there to discuss?”
“I’d be leaving you and Bea for five f*cking months.”
“You never exactly said your stay here was permanent in the first place. Technically, you’ve been on borrowed time. You realize that, don’t you?”
He didn’t address my question when he said, “This would be different than my simply being in New York. I wouldn’t be able to just come to the island whenever I want or when you need something. The tour is continuous. They stick to a tight schedule. He likes to do two or three shows in each city.”
“You don’t have to worry about me.” As much as I didn’t want him to leave, there was no way I was going to let him give up an opportunity like this out of guilt. He would come to resent Bea and me. That was the last thing I wanted.
“I don’t have to worry about you? Do you remember the state I found you in?”
“A lot has changed since then. Bea has grown a lot. She’s less dependent on me and sleeping better. Don’t use me as an excuse not to take this opportunity. Five months will fly by.”