RoomHate(44)

“About what?”

“I might take a year off…from my teaching job. I got kicked out of my apartment because the owner sold the building. I don’t have a place to live in the city anymore, and I’m not sure I’m ready to put Bea in daycare at the end of the summer. I was going to ask you if it was okay if I stay in this house in the off season.”

“This house is yours. Of course, it’s okay. I would never tell you otherwise. You shouldn’t even have to ask.”

“Alright. Well, now that I got that out of the way, I feel better. Thank you.”

“Dinner’s ready. Put her down so you can eat.”

Justin had poured wine for each of us.

“Oh…I can’t drink, Justin.”

“Shit. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Well, they say I can have one drink, but I’ve still been hesitant.”

“That’s fine. It won’t go to waste.”

Justin had made rice casserole. We were halfway through our meal when Bea started crying from her bouncy seat. When I got up to get her, Justin stopped me.

“Finish your food. I’ve got her.”

“He lifted her and brought her over to the table. As always, she quieted in his arms as she stretched her neck to look up at his face. This time, she reached out her little hand and started to play with his scruff.

“Hey, you trying to say I need to shave?”

Watching him with her always gave me goosebumps.

Don’t go there, Amelia.

Bea started to babble. It almost looked like she was trying to talk to him.

Justin pretended to understand her. “Oh yeah?” When she passed gas, he didn’t even flinch. He just said, “Well, excuse me!”

The whole thing was making me crack up.

After I finished, I took her back from him and fed her on the couch while Justin cleaned up the kitchen. Bea fell back asleep after her meal.

When Justin joined us in the living room, it occurred to me that he’d had plans to go out.

“Aren’t you supposed to be meeting Tom for a drink?”

“Nah. I think I’m gonna skip it. I’m playing tomorrow night. I’ll probably meet up with him after that instead.”

His phone vibrated and he answered, “Hey.”

I wasn’t completely sure who he was talking to until he looked over at me and said, “Jade says hi.”

“Hi, Jade.” I smiled, even though inside I was starting to feel that old familiar jealousy creep in again. Maybe it was a good thing that she called when she did, because a reality check was desperately needed.

Then, he walked away to finish the call in the other room.

When he returned, he said, “I have to go back to New York this weekend.”

My heart felt like it dropped to my stomach. “Oh. Just for the weekend?”

“Maybe a little longer.”





CHAPTER 12


It was Friday night, and Justin had already left for his gig at Sandy’s. He was supposed to be leaving early the next morning to head back to New York. While I’d originally told him I wouldn’t be going to see him perform, I was seriously second-guessing my decision. Who knew if and when he’d be back? After all, he’d come for some alone time only to find Bea and I wreaking havoc on his life. I’m not sure I would choose to return if I were him.

I suddenly turned to Bea. “Do you want to go see Uncle Justin play?”

“Will you promise to be good?”

I placed her in the crib before impulsively tearing my clothes off, worried that if I didn’t hurry up, I’d wuss out and decide to stay home. I put on a red dress that I hadn’t worn since before I was pregnant and slipped breast pads inside my bra to avoid wet spots. I styled my hair into loose curls and applied my makeup. Within minutes, Bea and I were dressed and in the car.

Returning to Sandy’s gave me the jitters. I hadn’t been back since last summer. I was also inexplicably nervous for Justin to see me in the audience when I’d already told him I wouldn’t be there.

He was in the middle of a song I didn’t recognize. As usual, the crowd was transfixed on him with women creeping up closer and closer to the front just to be near him and get a better look at his beautiful face while he sang. It was always so emotional for me to watch him perform. Thankfully, Bea was behaving in her carrier, allowing me to soak in every moment of being here.

I made my way to the mahogany bar to say hello to Rick the bartender who gave me a glass of seltzer on the house. Relaxing in my seat, I closed my eyes and cherished the sound of Justin singing as he began a cover of Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones. That haunting song seemed made for his voice. When I felt my eyes getting watery, I cursed at myself. Why did I always get so sentimental whenever he sang? It just always felt like every word of every song had meaning and could somehow be applied to my experiences with him.

Sure enough, halfway through the song, Bea started to cry. This was not the kind of song that masked the frenzied cries of an infant very well. A lot of heads were turning toward me. There were whispers, probably people wondering why I’d brought a baby to this kind of establishment in the first place.

Hot flashes permeated my body. Even though he continued through the song flawlessly, Justin’s gaze travelled over to my corner of the room. Our eyes locked. I was mortified for having interrupted this beautiful song. When it finished, I started to head toward the back room. Justin gestured with his hand to tell me to stay. I continued down the hall anyway until his voice through the mic stopped me in my tracks.