RoomHate(36)

“I’m afraid it is.”

“I’ve even had my period.”

“That could have been spotting or some intermittent bleeding that wasn’t menstruation. You mentioned that you’d been drinking a lot lately. Is it possible that you had sexual relations that you are unaware of?”

“Absolutely not.”

Wracking my brain, I thought back to the last time I had sex. It was with Adam a few months ago—the night we broke up. We’d always used condoms, so it seemed impossible.

“Are you sure?”

“These tests are quite accurate, yes.”

“Can you run it again?”

“I’ll tell you what. There’s an OB GYN office in this building. If they can squeeze you in, I’ll see if they would be willing to do a quick sonogram. I can’t guarantee that they will have the availability, but I’ll call them. Why don’t you wait in the reception area?”

It seemed like they’d made me wait forever. I was certain that this was all a mistake and thus, a huge waste of time.

The doctor peeked her head into the waiting area. “Ms. Payne? Good news. They’ll take you right now. Just take the elevator back down to the first floor and look for Reid Obstetrics. Ask for Doris. She’s the ultrasound technician. Our office already passed along all of your insurance information.”

“Thank you.”

When I got to the office downstairs, a girl about my age, wearing scrubs with Mickey Mouse heads all over the shirt was waiting for me smiling. “Amelia?”

“Yes.”

“Hi. Come right this way.”

Doris took me into a dark room. It was much warmer than the cold examination office upstairs, and there was soft music playing on the radio.

“First off, Congratulations.” She had a slight Spanish accent.

“Oh, I’m not pregnant. I have a virus. This is just to confirm that they made a mistake with the urine test.”

She looked amused. “Those tests are very accurate.”

“They usually are, but not in this case,” I said matter-of-factly.

Ignoring my comment, she pointed to my shirt. “Can you lift this for me? I’m just gonna put some warm gel on your belly.”

The tube made a weird squirting sound when she squeezed the clear gel onto my stomach. She touched the nozzle to my abdomen and pressed down a bit. A fuzzy white image appeared on the screen, and within seconds, I saw it. Not just a blob, but a huge head and arms. It was moving and looked gigantic.

“Amelia, I present to you…your virus. As you can see, it has a heart that’s beating right here, and it looks like all the parts are where they should be. You are most definitely carrying a child.”

It felt like the room was spinning.

“How can this be?”

“I’m sure you can figure it out if you think hard enough. You look to be about twelve weeks along, which would put your due date somewhere at the end of March.”

Three months ago. Almost exactly the last time I was with Adam. Adam who cheated on me. Adam who was living in Boston with Ashlyn. Adam who I hated. That Adam.

I was carrying Adam’s baby.

The technician went on, “Unfortunately, it’s a little too early to tell the sex, but we can make you another appointment if you want for your eighteen-week visit, and we should be able to determine the gender then. You’ll see the doctor next time first, though.”

“I’ll probably see a doctor out in Providence where I live most of the year, but thank you.”

Dazed and confused, I watched in disbelief as she printed out three pictures of my baby and handed them to me. I stared down at the images of the alien creature and then down at my stomach, which barely looked any different to me. I just looked a little bloated and had attributed that to stress and drinking.

Oh my God. Drinking!

I’d been drinking alcohol and coffee fusion. Was the baby even okay?

Feeling numb, I exited the medical building and sat in my car for several minutes before conjuring up enough energy to drive home. The outside looked different. Grayer. Scarier. The future seemed completely uncertain. For the first time in months, something other than Justin was consuming my mind.

***

Back home, Justin and Jade were cooking dinner in the kitchen while I lay in my bed clutching my stomach in disbelief. I’d managed to sneak back into my room before they returned to the house with their groceries, so I still hadn’t made contact with them. The sound of Jade’s laughing from downstairs was driving me nuts under the circumstances.

I was still in shock. It seemed like I was in the middle of a horrible dream. This pregnancy felt impossible to believe.

How was I possibly going to raise a child? I could barely take care of myself. My salary wasn’t enough to cover the cost of daycare. There were so many things that were up in the air. The sound of the front door slamming interrupted my frantic thought process. Before I could wonder if they’d left, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and approaching my room.

There was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me.” The unexpected sound of his low voice made me shiver.

“What do you need?”

“Can I come in?”

I got up and answered the door. “What?”

He looked tired, like he’d been run ragged.