RoomHate(19)

Not beyond begging, I looked into his eyes. “Please?”

He suddenly got up.

“Where are you going?”

“I need a drink for this,” he said, walking toward the kitchen.

“Can you get me one, too?” I hollered after him. My heartbeat began to accelerate in preparation. Was this really happening? Was he going to talk about what happened or just listen to me ramble?

He returned with a bottle of beer for himself and a glass of white wine for me. It surprised me that he knew exactly what I wanted, even though I hadn’t specified. It proved that he’d been observant even when pretending to ignore me.

He took a long sip then placed his beer on the coffee table. “We have to set some rules.”

“Alright.”

“Rule number one, if I say we’re done talking, we’re done talking.”

“Okay.”

“Rule number two…after tonight, we don’t talk about shit that happened in the past. This is it. One night only.”

“Okay. I can handle that.”

Grabbing the bottle again, he downed half of the beer before slamming it down on the table. “Alright. Go.”

Where would I begin?

I just needed to throw it all out there.

“There is no excuse for my leaving the way I did. I was young and stupid and scared. My biggest fear had always been getting hurt by you, because you were the one person I could count on besides Nana. When I found out you knew what was happening behind my back…I took it as betrayal. At the time, I didn’t realize that you were just trying to protect me.”

***





Nine Years Earlier


Mom was out per usual, so I would be sneaking out with Justin to go to the little red theater. This week, they were playing an Italian film called Si Vive Una Volta Sola that I had been wanting to see.

As he always did, Justin met me at the corner.

“We’d better hurry up,” he said. “We don’t want to miss the nine o’clock show.”

“We’re good on time. Relax.”

We started the walk to the bus stop when I realized I didn’t have my bus pass. It was inside of a hoodie that I knew I’d left inside Justin’s house when we were doing homework the other day.

“Shoot. We need to go inside your house. My bus pass is in the pocket of my jacket that I left in your dining room.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “I’ll just pay for you.”

“No, Justin. That’s stupid. We still have plenty of time.”

I started walking back toward his house.

He grabbed my arm. “Stop. I have it covered.”

“I’m going inside.”

An uncharacteristically panicked look flashed across his face. “We can’t.”

“Why?”

As was usual every other week, his mother, Carol, was on an out of town business trip. I couldn’t understand why he was so insistent that we not go inside his house.

He looked like he was struggling to come up with an excuse. His eyes moved from side to side, and my instinct just told me something was off.

“What are you keeping from me?”

“Nothing. We just can’t go in there right now.”

“I don’t understand. Your father’s car is outside. He’s home. Why can’t I just run in and get my jacket?”

“My father would get mad if he knew I was going out with you. I told him I was going out with Rob.”

“I don’t believe that. Your father knows we hang out. He’s cool with it.”

“Not at night.”

“You’re lying.”

“Patch, will you just trust me?”

I suddenly ran toward the front door and knocked frantically. There was no answer for almost a full minute before Elton Banks finally answered the door.

“Hi. Justin and I were heading to the movies, but I need my bus pass. It’s in my jacket that I left in your dining room. I just need to come in and get it.”

Justin’s dad looked over at him worriedly. Meanwhile, Justin’s face was practically white.

When Mr. Banks hesitated to let me in, I pushed my way past him. “I just need my jacket.” After entering the dining room, I spotted my sweatshirt hanging on the chair. Something else caught my eye: my mother’s faux fur coat.

What was she doing here?

It didn’t take me long to figure it out. Storming upstairs, I knew exactly where I was going to find her. I burst through Justin’s parents’ bedroom to find my mother frantically trying to put on her clothes.

Covering my mouth with my hand, I shook my head in disbelief before running back down the stairs and out the front door.

Justin ran after me. “Patch, wait. Please!”

I turned around and spewed, “You knew about this?” You KNEW that my mother was here messing around with your father? How long has this been going on?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“I can’t believe this!”

“I’m sorry, Patch. I’m so sorry.”

I ran back into my house and slammed the door, unsure of what hurt more: my mother’s actions or Justin’s keeping it all from me.





CHAPTER 6