River's End (River's End Series, #1)(16)

Sinking down onto the couch, she crawled into her sleeping bag to ease the shivering chill that was on her skin and seemed to have settled over her soul. What was she doing?

That’s all she could think about lately. What was she doing with her life? Nothing. The simple answer she always gave herself. She was doing nothing. And everything. There was no one who gave a crap about her. Oh sure, now there was Joey, for a few weeks… maybe. But he didn’t love her. He just wanted to sleep with her. He wouldn’t think about her much once it was over. She knew that. And yet, as always, that was fine with her. It was all she expected.

She shook her head and closed her eyes to the bile climbing up her throat and the images in her head. The ones that sent her life reeling into a chaos she couldn’t seem to rebound from. Her mother. Her mother being dead. Her mother sitting dead in her car. A car her mother left purposely running in the enclosed garage stall that they rented. The car Erin found her mother dead in. And her mother’s excuse? A sad, insignificant, I’m sorry, Erin. That was it. All the explanation of why her mother decided to kill herself. And in Erin’s car, in the only way she was sure that Erin would be the one to find her.

Erin opened her eyes at the image. The feeling of her mother’s cold hands. And the sight of her lifeless eyes. She tried to close her heart from falling into the deep pit of her stomach that wondered why she wasn’t enough of a reason for her mother to stay alive?

She blinked at the tears and shook her head. No. She wouldn’t. She refused to cry for the mother who deliberately abandoned her. She stood up to shower. That was enough for now. She had to realize that. It was all she had. Today. Today she had a place to live and food to eat. Who cares what tomorrow would bring? Who knows? She could be dead by then too.

****

Jack stared out the kitchen window. It was a view that any resort would put on the front of its brochures. He looked towards the sunlight, now filling the valley that spread in a gentle slope towards the river flashing below. Horses dotted the scenic green pastures starting to appear over the land. Mountains brought the sky closer to the earth. All was as it had been Jack’s entire life; except for Erin Poletti’s trailer, which marred the lower corner of an otherwise perfect view. Jack drank from the coffee cup in his hand.

He felt old. As he stared down at his hands, gripping a white coffee cup, a sense of weariness filled him that almost made him sit down.

He was now the chaperone. Out at his brother’s fucking party, collecting his underage son. His son who snuck out at night, to drink alcohol and make out with Marcy Fielding who lived up the river. At least, she turned him down to have sex. The thought made Jack’s stomach churn. Christ. In a handful of years, he could be Grandpa Jack if Ben did anything stupid. Which was what Ben seemed hell-bent on doing.

It made his joints ache to think of sleeping all night on a cold, hard, ground as his stupid, little brother had just done. Didn’t they notice the bitter chill of the morning? Any of them? Ben? Joey? Erin?

There was quite a crowd down at the beach, strewn over it in different spots. He found Chance as naked as his sister, his white ass hanging out, with some girl Jack didn’t know next to him. He found his son curled up beside Marcy, near what was once the fire. By then, it was no more than a small circle of charred wood and glowing coals. Most people had already gone home. But a few couples still littered his land and he didn’t like it. He really didn’t like his son being down there and a part of it. Joey was one thing. Joe did stuff like that still. But Ben was too young to start already. Fatigue overcame him; how could he fight the teenage rebel his son seemed determined on becoming?

He overreacted to Joey. He knew it even as he gazed down at his coffee. His brother had the right to do what he wanted, where he wanted, and with whom he wanted. He had no right to speak like that to Joey. But God. Didn’t he have the sense to realize Erin Poletti had set her eyes on him the moment she stepped foot on their land? She had a nice ass and if she wagged it enough in front of Joey, she was likely to end up with a chunk of Jack’s ranch. Jack slammed the cup down. He’d be damned if that little parasite would get any part of his land, his house, or his brother.

The trailer door opened and Chance came out and started puking in the grass. Jack turned away. One way or another, it was high time the Polettis got the hell off his land.

“Jack?”

Joey came into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He rested his head in his hands. He looked up at Jack.

“I didn’t know Ben came down there last night.”

“I guess you probably didn’t. I overreacted when I saw Ben there.”

“When Erin and I left the fire, he wasn’t there. You know that, Jack. I wouldn’t let Ben stay there. Or drink.”

“He was with Marcy Fielding.”

Joey grimaced. Everyone knew what the Fieldings were like. Marcy wasn’t the girl he wanted Ben with. “Shit. Did they…”

“Not yet. My guess is she said no. This time.” Jack stepped away from the counter, and started pacing. He couldn’t handle this. His son having sex? It was too soon. Too much. What the hell was he supposed to do with a teen? A teen who was rapidly growing up and wanting to listen less and less to authority. Jack felt a fist in his stomach and pressure in his neck.

“Fifteen? You don’t think he’s trying to…”

“Of course, he’s trying to, Joe. Weren’t you? I was. And all it takes is a girl like Marcy Fielding. I just hope he’s smart.”