River's End (River's End Series, #1)(15)

She opened her legs and shifted so he could settle against her as his hands found the top of her new, cheap jeans. “This okay?”

“It’s fine. It’s fine, Joey.”

And it was. It was fine. It was nice. Joey was sweet and much gentler than some men. He was far more solicitous of her than most men too. They kissed and felt each other and used protection. So yes, it was fine. They were safe. They were kind. It made her feel not so alone in a world in which she seemed less than a pinprick of a star.

****

A voice woke her up. Erin felt the hammer-like pounding against her temple as she started to awaken. She opened her eyes to the strangest sky. She blinked several times to place herself, and stared at a sky so white, so sluggish and soft, the world had yet to illuminate. Shit. She was on a beach. Outside. Freezing. And it was probably dawn. Her stomach heaved in protest. She partied way too hard. She sat up straight as it all came rushing back into her brain.

Jerking to attention, she saw shoes on the edge of the blanket, and glanced up with a sickening thud in her gut.

Jack. Jack Rydell was staring down at her. Why? What did he want? Oh God, how could she have fallen asleep out here? Goose bumps broke out all over her skin. She clutched the stack of blankets up around her chest. She was naked, wrapped in the blankets and next to a naked Joey.

Jack’s face didn’t show a trace of surprise or a hint of feeling. He stared into her eyes. Then up at her hair. She raised a hand to it and flinched. It felt like a rat’s nest, except gritty with sand.

Jack’s eyes left her and she sat there, burning up in shame. She’d never felt so exposed or so humiliated as she did in this moment. At the expression of disgust in Jack’s face. At being on the beach, with a killer hangover and ice nearly crusting on the ground.

“What the hell were you doing?”

Glancing up when Jack’s calm, mean, cold tone demanded an answer, she followed his line of sight to Joey next to her. Jack took a booted toe and nudged Joey, a lump of limbs under the blankets. Joey groaned and mumbled. Finally, he opened his eyes. He looked at her, then up past her, no doubt, realizing his brother was standing over them.

“What the hell do you want, Jack?” Joey asked, suddenly blinking awake in astonishment.

Jack bent over and grabbed something, which he threw at Joey. Joey took the shirt and put it over his chest, while Erin clutched the blanket in horror.

“What the hell am I doing? Looking for my fifteen-year-old son, you stupid, little shit.” Jack stood over them with his hands on his hips. He didn’t spare her a look. All of his wrath was directed at his brother. Erin tried to sink into a ball and curled her shoulders to hide herself.

“Ben? What about him?” Joey asked as he stood up, half naked, and pulled jeans over himself.

“Yeah, Ben, over there, puking his guts out. What did you think? That it was funny to let him come here?”

“I didn’t,” Joey said as he pulled on his jacket. Erin sat there, naked, looking up at the two men towering over her, now arguing. She wished she could sink into the sand.

“Yeah, while you were over here, Ben got drunk and nearly succeeded in having sex. Jesus, Joey, you never think. You never think that what you’re doing has consequences. Did you really think Ben even carries a condom? Or did you offer one up, just in case he got lucky too?”

Erin opened her mouth to protest, but seeing Jack’s eyes when he glanced at her kept her from speaking. She couldn’t remember ever seeing someone look at her with so much disgust in his face. Jack pushed the cowboy hat on his head back.

Joey shook his head. “He wasn’t there last night, Jack. At least, not while I was down there. He must have snuck up later, after I left.”

Left to have sex with her. Erin heard the statement in Jack’s accusatory gaze at her.

Jack crossed his arms over his chest. “Get up to the house, Joe.”

“I’m not fifteen, Jack. I didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe you need to keep a better eye on your son.”

Jack glanced at Erin and threw a jacket at her. “It’s forty degrees out here. Yeah, I’m the one who needs to be smarter.”

Jack turned and left and Joey’s gaze followed his brother’s rigid back. He sighed and sat down next to her.

“Asshole. He still thinks I’m Ben to him. Like I answer to him. Or still his responsibility. So the kid snuck down and got into the booze. What teen hasn’t?”

Joey finally looked at Erin. “You seem cold.”

Cold? That was such an understatement, she nearly slapped him. She was cold to the point of feeling numb. She was naked, exposed, and hung over. She pushed away the hand he put out towards her, grabbing her clothes scattered around them and getting dressed hastily. She shoved her foot into her new tennis shoe and made her way over the brittle ground, back towards the ranch. Her head throbbed. Her muscles ached from sleeping outside at a stupid time of the year, and her humiliation was so complete, she wanted to sink into the river.

She slammed the door on the trailer shut. It was cold in there and the heat wasn’t on. She walked over to the thermostat and spun it to eighty degrees while waiting for the propane to kick in. Her teeth were chattering. She looked up then and stopped at the sight of her reflection. She touched her face. Black rings outlined her eyes with day-old mascara. Her hair was a tousled, ratty mess of black. She had a hickey on her neck and she looked like a whore. The thought startled her. Why would she think that? So she had a good time last night. She’d done it before. So why did it feel so different this time? So much worse?